Insecurity

[SovietSecrets]

Short story time! I ask out a girl that I have been wanting to for a while, she said no and says we can no longer talk. I have a fairly good friendship with the girl, but now all gone. So tonight she texts me saying she told her boyfriend I asked her out, boyfriend is in rage mode and wants to fight me....I laugh harder then I ever have in my life.

Discussion: Why the hell are people so insecure in their relationships? If you trust the girl/guy then shouldnt you be fine with other people asking her/him out since you know shes/hes with you and wont cheat? If you dont trust them to even do that, then why be dating in the first place?

Edit: Ah I forgot to mention she had never told me she was dating someone. It was a surprise to me.

 

[Srkkl]

I'm glad it's not you with the insecurity. I have recently been in the same situation, actually met up with the dude to talk, he took a swing and slipped on wet grass because it had just rained, fell on a rock, and was knocked out. This was all after I tried to talk it out so I spit on him for his disrespect and laughed in the face of the girl for choosing the pathetic idiot.

Anecdotes aside, I've never really been insecure in a relationship.

 

[Dragon_of_red]

I think its just cause thats guys a massive psycho and the girl is quite a ***** for saying "We can never talk anymore" after you just simply asking her out.

Im quite happy with my relationship, sure, id get jelous at times but thats natural, i havent had to hurt anyone yet so its all good.

 

[belderiver]

Some people are jealous for other reasons. Betrayed by someone they really trusted in the past, etc, etc... In the case of your unrequited's dumbass boyfriend, though, I think that's pure machismo.

I think its just cause thats guys a massive psycho and the girl is quite a ***** for saying "We can never talk anymore" after you just simply asking her out.

Actually, maybe this is indicative of something wrong with their relationship? Maybe her boyfriend is really controlling.

 

[Jim From Accounting]

just back away from her man its not worth it people are bastards that just want to make a mark in society so they will use any means to destroy what is around them to so that they can get validation that they have that mark she wants to know if her BF will stand up for her by means of crushing what was there b4hand

chivalry is dead & and the man to try's is no longer wanted is todays world

 

[PlainTwo]

The guys an idiot, I've been in a somewhat similair situation, where a girl's brother wanted to kick my ass because I wouldn't go out with her. Yes, wouldn't. It had to be one of the weirdest situations I've been in.

 

[aPod]

I'd just drop him for the giggles. Nah, i wouldnt, but i would tell the girl her boyfriends a jealous controlling prick and leave him. Then i'd go along my merry way whatever she decided.

Why are people so insecure in their relationships? Now thats something interesting and after you've seen just how easy it can be to tempt someone into the wrong or how small problems can escalate into real hatred for your partner you start to understand peoples insecurities in their relationships.

For whatever reason, peoples relationships get dull after awhile and they start to look for someone to make their life exciting again, but they don't want to lose the security and comfort their partner gives them and well yeah... just starting to ramble but its all very true none-the-less.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

I think if you ask someone out that's in a relationship then to put it plainly you're a dick, why would you risk someones relationship like that? If the person is your friend then why would you be as selfish as to do that.

As someone who was recently dumped by his girlfriend for someone else who moved in on her, it sucks.

 

[EeveeElectro]

She dos sound like a complete tool, but if you knew she had a boyfriend, that means she's off limits.
I trust him, I don't trust the pathetic disease ridden slags that throw themselves at him. The worst thing was when he used to flirt back.
I'm just way too paranoid anyway, but he knows what I'd do if he cheated on me.

 

[Avaholic03]

She sounds like a drama queen. You're better off without her.

To answer the more broad question, it's genetic programming to want to protect your relationship. We're just slightly-more-evolved chimps, and those instincts can be pretty strong. It's easy to call it insecurity and insult people based on it, but it's actually millenia of evolutionary response.

I like to think I'm not too overprotective in my relationship, but I still find myself feeling jealous or insecure from time to time.