Intelligent Metal Gear Solid Review.
- Thread starter steamednotfried
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I don't really know why I'm bothering, as I'll probably be ignored but never mind.
The review doesn't flow very well. It reads as a series of mini rants about what you didn't like about the games. As a review you should really be going into more detail on the elements of the game rather than questioning the names of devices or why something is as it is. You also seem to be attempting to review a series as a whole, where elements clearly change as the series progresses and lengthy though your review is it's sorely lacking in detail.
Your opening paragraph did lead me to wonder why on earth you played the games if you didn't like the first one.
Most of your negatives seem to be with the fact that you can't just race through it. It requires some time to see the layout before you progress. Most of your issues could have been rectified with a little patience on your part it seems.
Finally let's look at your title. Intelligent and negative are not synonymous. Your review is no more intelligent than me saying I hate Zelda. It is merely an opinion. An intelligent review would look at all the elements and show what works, as well as what doesn't. Yours is a biased review, not an intelligent one.
The review doesn't flow very well. It reads as a series of mini rants about what you didn't like about the games. As a review you should really be going into more detail on the elements of the game rather than questioning the names of devices or why something is as it is. You also seem to be attempting to review a series as a whole, where elements clearly change as the series progresses and lengthy though your review is it's sorely lacking in detail.
Your opening paragraph did lead me to wonder why on earth you played the games if you didn't like the first one.
Most of your negatives seem to be with the fact that you can't just race through it. It requires some time to see the layout before you progress. Most of your issues could have been rectified with a little patience on your part it seems.
Finally let's look at your title. Intelligent and negative are not synonymous. Your review is no more intelligent than me saying I hate Zelda. It is merely an opinion. An intelligent review would look at all the elements and show what works, as well as what doesn't. Yours is a biased review, not an intelligent one.
I agree with galletea, and putting 'intelligent' in the title sets up serious expectations or makes you look like a smart ass before we've even read the first sentence; something which probably colored how people would look at it.
I can't believe i've got this many replies without a single word of praise or constructive criticism. If you don't like anything about this review, then you are not my target audience and i am not interested in what you have to say.
That's because your target audience appears to be "People who hate MGS as much as I do" rather than the discerning gamer looking for a recomendation. It also comes across as extremely opinionated rather than carefully structured and objective.
I also DID point out that you never specified which game in the series you were playing, and if this is a series review, you miss a few games as well.
I also DID point out that you never specified which game in the series you were playing, and if this is a series review, you miss a few games as well.
In case you didn't read some of the earlier posts, some people did give you constructive criticism, but you may have overlooked them. And really, your target audience was only for people who hate MGS, as all your criticism was all negative, and never gave a positive review. Even people who hate MGS usually have something good to say about it, but all you sounded like was that you hated the game, and that you wanted to make someone hate it.steamednotfried said:
Although a lot of your points aren't necessarily well written I see what you are getting at with some of them. If you condense it into a more focused review and focus on backing up a few of your better points (clunky controls etc) rather than the current scattershot style of slamming EVERYTHING in the game then you will do much better next time.
EDIT:
EDIT:
You aren't doing yourself any favours with this kind of attitude, people have been offering constructive criticism but unfortunately you don't get to publish your review for the world to see and say "I don't want your opinions if you don't like it". As I said previously, this is not a bad review as such, just lacking focus and there are good points buried in there somewhere but under too much irrelevant ranting. Set yourself a vague word limit next time and you will find the clarity of your points improving.steamednotfried said:
I'm really not sure what you expected. You wrote an a rather lengthy review bashing a very popular series with next to nothing to support your complaints. You just...nitpicked and bitched pretty much.steamednotfried said:
I was actually kind of excited when I read the first few sentences because I was expecting a funny, smart-ass review. I guess I came into the thread with these expectations due to the inanely pretentious title. Sadly, after a few paragraphs, I came to the sad realization that the whole thing is just a boring rant. Christ, dude. At least add in a few pictures or something. Maybe some humor. ANYTHING. Not a giant wall of boorish text.
Oh, and I don't know what this business is about having a target audience. You wrote a review on the escapist. We are your target audience.
I'll start with your first problem. The word 'intelligent' being in your title. It gives us the impression that you, the writer, are self-obsessed and pretentious (this is not a good thing if your goal is to make the reader agree with what you are writing).
Another thing to point out is that your writing is both long and awkard to read. The way you've written this (namely your choice of langauge and the flow of the piece) means that I often had to re-read sections just to clarify what you are saying and having to do this over and over just makes your review tedious and irritating to read.
Next, many of your points are subjective and require further evidence and support. You are writing a review for a gaming forum on the internet, we're not just going to take your word that something is bad, you've got to prove it. Being subjective is ok to a certain degree (after all, being too objective and analytical would make the text too dry and boring) but you should acknowledge that it is just your opinion (I can't remember who said it but here goes: 'you are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts').
Finally, the complaint about none of us being your target audience...if we weren't your target audience then none of us would have taken the time to read this and we certainly wouldn't have replied. Also, target audiences are usually only applied to adverts and television shows, not written reviews.
Another thing to point out is that your writing is both long and awkard to read. The way you've written this (namely your choice of langauge and the flow of the piece) means that I often had to re-read sections just to clarify what you are saying and having to do this over and over just makes your review tedious and irritating to read.
Next, many of your points are subjective and require further evidence and support. You are writing a review for a gaming forum on the internet, we're not just going to take your word that something is bad, you've got to prove it. Being subjective is ok to a certain degree (after all, being too objective and analytical would make the text too dry and boring) but you should acknowledge that it is just your opinion (I can't remember who said it but here goes: 'you are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts').
Finally, the complaint about none of us being your target audience...if we weren't your target audience then none of us would have taken the time to read this and we certainly wouldn't have replied. Also, target audiences are usually only applied to adverts and television shows, not written reviews.
So your "target audience" is a group of easily impressionable people who agree with everything you say all the time? That's like saying "Sorry, I only play basketball against mentally retarded midgets with their hands behind their backs."steamednotfried said:
If we are not your target audience, you shouldn't have posted here. If you expect everyone to agree with you and you are unable to accept constructive criticism (because you most certainly have received it), then, again, there is no point in you posting here.
