I'll start with your first problem. The word 'intelligent' being in your title. It gives us the impression that you, the writer, are self-obsessed and pretentious (this is not a good thing if your goal is to make the reader agree with what you are writing).
Another thing to point out is that your writing is both long and awkard to read. The way you've written this (namely your choice of langauge and the flow of the piece) means that I often had to re-read sections just to clarify what you are saying and having to do this over and over just makes your review tedious and irritating to read.
Next, many of your points are subjective and require further evidence and support. You are writing a review for a gaming forum on the internet, we're not just going to take your word that something is bad, you've got to prove it. Being subjective is ok to a certain degree (after all, being too objective and analytical would make the text too dry and boring) but you should acknowledge that it is just your opinion (I can't remember who said it but here goes: 'you are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts').
Finally, the complaint about none of us being your target audience...if we weren't your target audience then none of us would have taken the time to read this and we certainly wouldn't have replied. Also, target audiences are usually only applied to adverts and television shows, not written reviews.