Interesting Hypotheticals

[r4ndom]

I was reading Chuck Klosterman's book 'Sex Drugs & Cocoa Puffs' and came across some hypotheticals worth repeating. I'll limit myself to two, to prevent TWS (text wall syndrome)

Heavily paraphrased as I don't have the book to hand.

1. You are shown a video screen which allows you to see you yourself at some point in the future. It shows you sitting in a room, dressed in ballet clothes, surrounded by tons of ballet memorabilia, posters, etc. You are watching ballet on television, and seem to be excited by it, and more importantly, enjoying it immensely. The video screen goes black, and that is all you will ever see. The events in the video WILL happen, it is absolutely 100% accurate, and there are never any mistakes.

Two months later, you are at home alone watching TV. Flipping through the channels you come across a program on the Russian Ballet. Do you stop and watch it?

2. Through a bizarre series of events, you meet an evil genie. The genie informs you that every year, on your birthday, someone will break one of your legs with a length of robust industrial piping. It will happen every birthday, until you are dead, and it is absolutely inescapable. Every year, without fail, your leg will end up broken. He offers you a deal, being a reasonably fair evil genie. This will not happen, if you choose to have every song you hear for the rest of your life be sung with the voice of Layne Staley from Alice In Chains (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3FnQMSD4Zg) This is the voice you will hear when you sing in the shower, it will be the voice of every song you'll ever hear (even opera, other people singing to themselves, etc)

Which would you choose?

 

[ElephantGuts]

Ballet fanatic huh? Well if that was definetly going to happen it wouldn't really matter whether or not I watched the program would it? I guess I would watch it. May as well start then, right? Besides, I'm not going to live my life in fear of Ballet. Bring it on.

And as for the second situation... Layne Staley from Alice in Chains? Never heard of them. Was there any particular reason that that singer was chosen, or is it just completely random? Anyway, that's a tough question. That would pretty much ruin a lot of the music you hear (not necessarily that the singer is bad, but some songs just need to sound a certain way), but on the other hand I don't want my legs broken every year. I think I would go with the latter option which leaves my skeletal structure intact.

 

[r4ndom]

Layne Staley from Alice in Chains? Never heard of them. Was there any particular reason that that singer was chosen, or is it just completely random?

I guess he was chosen for his downbeat/depressing style.

I'm not sure I could listen to him for the rest of my life.... A broken leg wouldn't be so bad, and while i'm recouperating, I could listen to barbershop quartets without them sounding like 4 drains racing to empty a bath.

 

[3rd rung]

I have to choose one or the other well I guess the ballet one beucae I am really happy in that situation. but I do like alice in chains so tough one. I still think the ballet situation beucase I seems to love my life even if it is something I hate right now.

 

[NeutralDrow]

1. Of course I would watch it. Russian ballet is pretty good, anyway...and even if it wasn't, I would be guaranteed to enjoy it. I'm not so close-minded as to fear enjoying something harmless (it's not like it guaranteed me getting my jollies molesting people or anything).

2. Hard to say. Eventually, my leg will have broken so many times it'll basically stay that way...I'll go with the singer. Doesn't stop me from enjoying non-vocal pieces.

 

[Lisser]

Wow...that's a new one...

First, watching ballet isn't that bad, is it? If I'm already sure that it's going to happen, I'm not intentionally going to do anything to stop it. But if I saw that program on television, and I yet had no interest in it, I really wouldn't care. However, if I did find it even slightly arousing, I might stay and watch for a few minutes. There's never anything good on television nowadays anyway.

And for the second one, I would first like to make the comment that my whole life is music, so it's kind of a no-brainer. I can say that I would probably choose to have a leg broken every birthday instead. I'd just make sure to ask for an ambulance ride to the hospital every year!

 

[r4ndom]

First, watching ballet isn't that bad, is it?

You can substitute "ballet" for anything that you don't like, really. It was just the first thing that came into my head. I believe the original topic in the book was "Canadian Football" but I altered it to ballet so more people would know what I meant.

I'd try and hold off for as long as I could though... Just to see how long I could go before I got bitten by the ballet bug.

EDIT - Didn't notice that alliteration there. Score.

 

[Pimppeter2]

1) If it makes me happy, ehy not

2)Id do the music thing

 

[ElephantGuts]

Alright, I have a new theory on the ballet one: When I found that out, the first thing I would do is recreate that exact same situation. I would get all the posters and memorabilia around me, watch ballet on TV, and look really excited while I do it. That way I fulfill the prophesy and that thing happens, but it doesn't mean I'm actually obsessed with ballet and I can get on with my life.

Only issue is that I guess it would be pretty difficult to recreate the exact same scene, so it might not count and your efforts would be for naught. But it's worth a try though, if it means keeping my life the way it is.

 

[Tech Team FTW!]

Hypothetical:
What if this thread had never been started and I hadn't just spent 5 minutes reading it?

 

[Inverse Skies]

1. I'd choose to watch the Ballet, as if its 100% unavoidable obviously ballet would find some other way of permeating my consciousness if I didn't watch it.

2. I love classical but rarely listen to much opera. However, I would rather have my legs broken once a year on my birthday than listen to Beethoven's Ode de Joy in... that voice. I'd just lie in hospital drugged up or something to try and take the edge off the pain.

 

[Arrers]

1.I wouldn't watch the Ballet. It'd take somthing special to get me inerested in ballet, at least I'd rather something impressive would get me interested.

2.I wouldn't accecpt the genie's offer. There's a fair chance the genie was lying (due to his inherently evil nature) and I like music to much to suffer just one singer's voice anyway (The injury is only once a year and it take less than a year to recover from, but the offer is premenant damage).

 

[high_castle]

For the first scenario...I have so many issues with fate and destiny, I would intentionally avoid anything related to ballet. You say inevitable, I say "Screw fate!" But in a slightly less manic tone than the exclamation point implies.

Scenario number two...This one's rough. I'd probably opt for the broken bone over the music thing. Mostly because I can at least TRY to avert getting my leg smashed. And if I fail...there's always next year. But there's no trying not to hear Alice in Chains every time you listen to Johnny Cash. Or Dylan. And that's just wrong.

 

[traceur_]

The ballet thing? I can honestly say if I knew that's the way my life went I would repaint the wall with my brain right now *strokes gun*.

Yeh I would choose to NOT have my legs broken, being crippled would probably limit my parkour skills.