Sit ye, gathered here on this most auspicious of forums! I shall spin you a tale of intrigue, mystery, and glory! So sit down, pop some corn, cancel all of your appointments, and pull out all of your phonelines: you don't want any interruptions.
Back in my sophomore year of high school two years ago, I was waiting in the lunchline. Then, some ass-hole has the nerve to cut me! What a douche! I decided that it was an isolated incident, and I gave it no further attention. Another day, some more people had the audacity to skip ahead in line! "No more," I declared. "No more shall I suffer the indignity of the place in line which I have so rightfully earned!" So, instead of walking at a normal pace to be in the middle of the line, I started to run to lunch with the intention of being first.
For a while, it worked marvelously. I couldn't be cut if I had my food prior to when the cutters arrived. Sweet victory! Then, one day, as I started my run, a huge (and I mean HUGE) amount of my fellow students gave chase to me with the intention of stopping me! I was caught off-guard. I nearly failed, but I outran them all and made it to my rightful place. This encounter, however, was not to be the last.
Soon after the encounter, a very good friend of mine let me in on a little secret. On Facebook, there was an entire group of people who wanted to stop me (This information turned out to be inaccurate: there were two, but the second one is hardly worth mentioning). The size of the group was a formidable 150 students (some who did not even attend my school!). This may not seem that large a force, but you must consider that I was alone. One man, by himself, cannot take on an army of 150 students. They also had my schedule on the group, as well as school blueprints, patrol positions, and humorous images regarding their plans for me (how the hell did they manage to do their freakin' homework?!?!). So what did I do in the face of these overwhelming odds? Did I cower in fear? Did I stop my attempts? Absolutely not. I joined their group, poked their leader and let the sparks fly. This had become war.
I knew that I could not take on this force alone. So I asked my good teachers to assist me. The eagerly agreed to let me out of class ten minutes prior to my scheduled time. This led the group to be disorganized, allowing me to slip through their numbers before having the time to execute their plan. I was victorious once more. The group did not take kindly to this. They locked me out, leaving me in the dark regarding their plan. It seemes that I would be doomed to fail. But then, it turns out, the higher faculty found out about our little war, and not only put a stop to their plans, but forced the group's leader to escort me to the cafeteria, in case some student's wanted to attack (I swear that I saw some rope in one guy's hand). It was a shallow victory, but a victory nonetheless! I had won the war, and I have kept my Facebook profile ever since.
Yeah, my life isn't that interesting. But if you add enough hype before telling a story, it makes it sound so much cooler.
