Introverts missunderstood

[Tarcolt]

I consider myself an Introvert.

I'm not a hermit and I don't HATE people(well not all people)

Every time I see people commenting on introverts they either treat it as a problem that needs fixing or simply just misunderstand what it means.

My last instance was about someone saying that an extrovert leads and an introvert follows. I disagree as I believe an extrovert leads and an introvert goes off and does their own thing.

Does anyone have any other experiences of people just not getting it, or are there some extroverts who think differently?

EDIT: Ok alot of people use the word draining, can I get a description. I usually get stressed or agitated... but I wouldn't necessarily call it drained.

 

[IndomitableSam]

I've been an introvert since childhood. So has my sister. We like to be introverts together. This means we don't like large groups and are happy in more intimate settings. We're happiest when we're at home and can be alone with our thoughts. Big specatcles aren't what we enjoy. Quiet, reflective time is a must.

Some people see this as a problem, but I'm old enough now not to care what other people think. Some people think it's weird I can just sit outside for hours and watch the sky and not say a word. Me? I think the people who need the company of other people to feel good are missing out on the perfect little quiet moments in life.

Some intorverts think something is wrong with them for not wanting to be the centre of attention. Some extroverts understand that people need quiet time to themselves. There's a balance and most people understand it.

However, if you're young and you don't fit the proper ideal of what a 'popular' kid should be, you're basically fucked until school's over. It's hard not to care or be bothered by what other people think, but you will. Not to say I don't get bothered by what other people think still, but I see the reasoning behind it and understand it, even if I think it's wrong.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Im pretty introverted. I like my space and my time. A lot. I enjoy being around others and im explosively friendly and open when i am but it tires me out. I sit at home alone to recharge and go out to spend all the pent up energy i have until i feel exhausted. Thrusting me into an unwanted social interaction stresses me out a LOT and spending too much time with others sets me on edge and makes me less energetic pretty quickly. A lot of people feel im an extrovert because when i interact on my terms im very open, direct and willing to talk a lot. But the feeling that i only want to see others for short bursts and love having my own time are key to me and its a side people dont see. So i think that makes me an introvert in part.

I think an extrovert is someone who loses their energy when alone and gets all their energy from being around others, they feel tired and restless when alone for too long and happy with other people, they welcome all social interaction because for them its a massive pick me up and doesnt tire them out. They tend to start out pretty quiet and get more into a night as it goes on.

An introvert is someone who is happy to interact socially and be open when they want to but being with other people is draining. They need to go back to having some me time to feel comfortable and safe again. They tend to be quieter as a night progresses because the interaction with others settles them down toward the end of feeling like they need me time again.

I think its a matter of mood over time when youre with people and where your "comfort" zone is. If youre comfort zone to recharge and relax is alone and you get the quickly draining excitement seeing others youre an introvert. If youre comfort zone is with others and being alone makes you feel listless and uncomfortable youre an extrovert. This seems fairest to me.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I guess I would call myself introverted. I don't really like interacting with people I don't know, even if it's small talk- correction, especially if it's small talk. And socially interacting with anyone who isn't direct family absolutely exhausts me. If for instance I would spent 4 to 5 hours at some social gathering, even if I had a great time, I would seriously need to get out of there to rest my brain.

I don't like being this way, and I wish I could actually make friends and be more outgoing. Even if I had friends I would probably lose them right quick though, because it would never really occur to me to pick up the phone and call them up.

 

[Wadders]

I think an extrovert is someone who loses their energy when alone and gets all their energy from being around others, they feel tired and restless when alone for too long and happy with other people, they welcome all social interaction because for them its a massive pick me up and doesnt tire them out. They tend to start out pretty quiet and get more into a night as it goes on.

An introvert is someone who is happy to interact socially and be open when they want to but being with other people is draining. They need to go back to having some me time to feel comfortable and safe again. They tend to be quieter as a night progresses because the interaction with others settles them down toward the end of feeling like they need me time again.

I think its a matter of mood over time when youre with people and where your "comfort" zone is. If youre comfort zone to recharge and relax is alone and you get the quickly draining excitement seeing others youre an introvert. If youre comfort zone is with others and being alone makes you feel listless and uncomfortable youre an extrovert. This seems fairest to me.

Interesting way of looking at it, but I totally agree. I used to think that being extroverted was all about being loud, outgoing and loving attention, but I've come to the realization that whilst I am none of those things, I feel happiest when with other people; so I'd say you've hit the nail on the head.

I can certainly understand how some people prefer their own company, but ideally my alone time lasts briefly, as I often end up feeling restless or isolated unless I am with other people. I usually feel like I'd rather share my experiences and time with other people present, as opposed to just doing things and experiencing stuff alone.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Interesting way of looking at it, but I totally agree. I used to think that being extroverted was all about being loud, outgoing and loving attention, but I've come to the realization that whilst I am none of those things, I feel happiest when with other people; so I'd say you've hit the nail on the head.

I can certainly understand how some people prefer their own company, but ideally my alone time lasts briefly, as I often end up feeling restless or isolated unless I am with other people. I usually feel like I'd rather share my experiences and time with other people present, as opposed to just doing things and experiencing stuff alone.

See i came to the same realisation that how i defined myself didnt fit with the definitions i was being given.

Im very loud and tell a lot of jokes and usually like being the centre of attention when im out. But its totally exhausting and i feel like i need some time off stage so to speak pretty frequently just to be by myself. Im most comfortable with just me. It didnt fit with this idea im an extrovert because my biggest fantasy is having an adventure by myself. I often take long bikerides by myself for the solitude.

I just realised it was silly to confine myself to two labels. I reinvented the words for me and im happy with them this way.

 

[Wadders]

Interesting way of looking at it, but I totally agree. I used to think that being extroverted was all about being loud, outgoing and loving attention, but I've come to the realization that whilst I am none of those things, I feel happiest when with other people; so I'd say you've hit the nail on the head.

I can certainly understand how some people prefer their own company, but ideally my alone time lasts briefly, as I often end up feeling restless or isolated unless I am with other people. I usually feel like I'd rather share my experiences and time with other people present, as opposed to just doing things and experiencing stuff alone.

See i came to the same realisation that how i defined myself didnt fit with the definitions i was being given.

Im very loud and tell a lot of jokes and usually like being the centre of attention when im out. But its totally exhausting and i feel like i need some time off stage so to speak pretty frequently just to be by myself. Im most comfortable with just me. It didnt fit with this idea im an extrovert because my biggest fantasy is having an adventure by myself. I often take long bikerides by myself for the solitude.

I just realised it was silly to confine myself to two labels. I reinvented the words for me and im happy with them this way.

Well your redefinition seem to work pretty well. Of course there are many many people who fit well into the traditional definitions, but I wouldn't say one has to be exclusively be one or the other, all of the time.

 

[an annoyed writer]

My last instance was about someone saying that an extrovert leads and an introvert follows.

As a fellow introvert, that sentiment also pisses me off. And while I may go off and do my own thing, you know what else I do? I lead my own film crew. Composed of introverts and extroverts. So suck it, whoever came up with that bullshit sentiment!

 

[JayElleBee]

I've recently been reading 'Quiet' by Susan Cain. The whole "extroverts are leaders, introverts are followers" thing is nonsense. They actually ran a study about it, I believe. It showed that extroverts are better leaders if their team is mostly made up of introverts. Introverts are better leaders if their team is made up of extroverts. I believe they said something about how an extroverted leader motivates and pushes the introverts further, whereas an introverted leader is capable of stepping back and listening to the extroverted team's ideas and applying them successfully.

Personally, I'm introverted. The way I feel about it is, I like company. Interaction, not so much. My ideal would be sitting in a room with another introvert, each of us doing our own thing, just enjoying being close to one another. I don't need to talk to people in order too enjoy their company.

 

[Tarcolt]

My last instance was about someone saying that an extrovert leads and an introvert follows.

As a fellow introvert, that sentiment also pisses me off. And while I may go off and do my own thing, you know what else I do? I lead my own film crew. Composed of introverts and extroverts. So suck it, whoever came up with that bullshit sentiment!

Oh Im sending a link to the individual in question... this will realy grind him!

 

[Quaxar]

I like my space and my time.

I do too.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQSx3oxdVH99fsYQM4BUaiKNZZC8WzqqnKR6r2_cQl7ZjDdTIC_

Cheap joke to avoid low-content warning, I actually just wanted to post a TED Talk...

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