Is being a gentlemen sexist?

[renegade7]

Well that depends. If you're doing it because it's polite then I would say no. And though it may be a bit sexist, I think holding a door open for a girl or just being a polite gentleman in general, especially one you are dating or wish to date, makes a very good impression. I mean, you should make a girl or woman you care about feel special, so yea there is a place for it.

But if you're doing it because you think women are weaker, or because you think it will get you into her pants, then yes it is sexist.

 

[Subjective Effect]

What nonsense is this?

Of course it's not sexist, you were just being polite. You may well have been a gentleman at the same time.

Men and women are not the same so should not be treated the same. If you see a guy struggling with a heavy suitcase are you going to help? Not unless it's really, really big/heavy or he is small. But you'd more readily help a woman because she's most likely not as strong as you are, and that's just a fact. Similarly men tend to be taller than women. Are you going to help a woman reach for something more often than a man? Yes, because it's just stats on height difference.

When you flip being a gentleman over into believing it's being sexist you've messed up. There is a world of difference between being a gentleman and being condescending.

If a woman berates you for being a gentleman then it's time to stop being a gentleman to her, and her alone, because she's obviously too much of an idiot to deserve it.

because you think women are weaker

They are, in general. They also have ladybits, in general, and neither of these are up for debate in the land of logic.

 

[Martyr4thecause]

You have dozens of answers already, but here's a new one, just to add my opinion to the list In two sections:
1, sexism. Yeah, treating a girl differently than a boy of the same status is technically sexist. The act of helping her out was charitable. She doesn't like being seen as a charity case. You were trying to be nice, but clearly, there is a misperception of women as requiring, or worse, DESERVING your charity solely for being women. Though this can be seen as either discriminating against ("he doesn't think I can do it myself, what an asshole")or in favour of ("he thinks women deserve better treatment than men, that makes me feel superior.") women. Though I've personally gotten in trouble socially for both holding the door for a girl AND not doing so. In my experience, it depends on how much of a jerk the girl your dealing with is.
2, douchebag. This is the part where she was totally out to lunch XD! Doing nice things for people without any expectation of a return favour is honorable, regardless of your other reasons. Your not a douchebag buddy, just a little misinformed, and a little old fashioned. The only thing you should fix is that you should be helping out everybody, because men are people too. Keep being a nice guy, just, be a nice guy to everybody, and don't worry about the bitches, because they'll fault you for their own perceived shortcomings no matter WHAT you do XD. Good luck my man

 

[TehCookie]

I think it's sexist, I don't know why men have such a trouble adapting to common courtesy now. Don't just hold the door for women, hold it for men too. Also if someone refuses to let you hold the door for them slam it on their face, I've done that to several men who refused to walk through a door held by a women (yes there are men who are just as stupid and rude as women, don't think the gender is bad because of a few extremist).

 

[Phasmal]

Also if someone refuses to let you hold the door for them slam it on their face, I've done that to several men who refused to walk through a door held by a women (yes there are men who are just as stupid and rude as women, don't think the gender is bad because of a few extremist).

That's happened to me several times*. (And I didn't make a thread bitching about it).
It's a momentary annoyance, nothing to get worked up about.
I wonder why the door-holding is such a `big thing`?

* I mean the man not walking through a door because I'm holding it open.

 

[Easton Dark]

What nonsense is this?

Of course it's not sexist

Men and women are not the same so should not be treated the same.

Definition of sexism. What nonsense is this (bolded parts). Please don't say something's not something when it clearly is.

 

[TehCookie]

Also if someone refuses to let you hold the door for them slam it on their face, I've done that to several men who refused to walk through a door held by a women (yes there are men who are just as stupid and rude as women, don't think the gender is bad because of a few extremist).

That's happened to me several times*. (And I didn't make a thread bitching about it).
It's a momentary annoyance, nothing to get worked up about.
I wonder why the door-holding is such a `big thing`?

* I mean the man not walking through a door because I'm holding it open.

It's just the most common thing I think. I would be just as annoyed if I went to help an old man with luggage and he refused it just because I am a woman. Or people don't want to think that hard about it so they just go with someone else's idea like luggage.

 

[Bocaj2000]

[img/]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/123/620/Oh-boy-here-we-go.jpg[/img]

if you want to really get into it the Idea of chivalry in regards to women [b/]while based on good intentions[/b] implys that women are weaker and need protecting, it also comes from a time where as a trade off for all those fun things..women were treated like "ladys"

bottom line is, I don;t expect the door held open for me, I'll say thank you if it is held open....and I'll hold it open for anyone regardless of gender...

That is very true. It is important to remember that feminism is about equality not superiority. Unfortunately, the idea of superiority is a common misconception that propaganda has spread through the years to kill the movement.

I treat women how I treat men: with respect. For example, I hold doors for everybody.

edit:

snip

I know I'm opening a bag of worms, but I think that you are sexist. If a man was struggling with a heavy bag, you should ask to help; it's simple courtesy.

 

[DarthSka]

The core of sexism is the belief that woman should be treated differently than men. To hold a door for a woman and not a man is sexist, regardless of any preconceived social norms on proper etiquette are.

This is pretty much my answer. When people bring up the issue of sexism, it's generally associated with negative behaviors such as expecting a woman to be in the kitchen. Holding a door open, usually considered positive, is typically not associated with the word because it's being polite. There's no real difference between chivalry and sexism because it's treatment based on gender. So yeah, it's sexist, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

What nonsense is this?

Of course it's not sexist, you were just being polite. You may well have been a gentleman at the same time.

Men and women are not the same so should not be treated the same. If you see a guy struggling with a heavy suitcase are you going to help? Not unless it's really, really big/heavy or he is small. But you'd more readily help a woman because she's most likely not as strong as you are, and that's just a fact. Similarly men tend to be taller than women. Are you going to help a woman reach for something more often than a man? Yes, because it's just stats on height difference.

Sorry, but that was incredibly sexist. You cannot generalize like that. You wouldn't help a male struggling with a suitcase simply because he was male? If he is struggling with the suitcase, clearly he might need a hand regardless of the fact he has a penis. I've seen men who can barely lift anything, and I've seen women who can lift as much, if not more, than some men. There is no "all women are weaker than men, so they need help more".

It is the same with height. I know some incredibly short men, and I know some incredibly tall women. Every person, regardless of their gender, should be treated differently. If I'm having trouble and people refuse to help me because I happen to have a penis, that would be very sad.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Isn't it just common sense to hold the door open for people?

Also who gives a fuck if a random stranger is gentlemanly out of a place of sexism? Such a tiny insignificant part of our lives, for fucks sake

 

[Mr_RogersCU13]

I'm southern and I give women more respect than I do men. Call me chauvinistic, sexist, whatever, I don't particularly care. It's just something you do. It's not a matter of women being weaker or more needy, it is simply a matter of respect. Apparently this is an old fashioned belief from what I am seeing here.

 

[scarecrow350]

I always thought it was the polite thing to do
its always better to show you have class, i guess its how i was brought up
maybe she's just used to being surrounded by idiots that wouldn't know class if it hit them with a train, so this concept is alien to her, so she reacts offensively towards it
I don't think its sexist, just being nice

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Its not sexist but it not 'equal'. Its just easier to ignore everyone when they bring up the ist words though.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Its not sexist but it not 'equal'. Its just easier to ignore everyone when they bring up the ist words though.

It is sexist simply because it is discrimination.

But yeah, if you want to be a racist, sexist, utterly unethical person ignoring words that end in 'ist' sounds like a grand way to go.

Opening the door for someone isn't discrimination. It that counts as discrimination is it sexist they they call us men rather then humans?