Is bottling up emotions a sign of strength?

[FillerDmon]

There's an event in my life that's been eating at me for nearly a year now, one that could've been avoided if I just bottled things up.

Oh gods do I know that feeling.

I have to ask, would it have been a sign of strength, or at least normal human behavior, to have bottled my frustrations up? Was the fact that I blew up a sign that I'm a spoiled, pathetically weak waste of flesh? Am I just whining about first world problems without intending to right now?

I don't think it's a sign of strength to bottle up, because of how badly it damages you for doing so. I also don't think it's a sign of strength to not be bothered by it either.

There's a middle ground to almost everything. The Twilight Road, rather than Day or Night. Emotional Control. Be able to address people that annoy you, even if in a way that you really like, while being able to continue to express yourself in a dignified manner. That's what I'd say you should be aiming for. Don't stop the pipe, but be mindful of not being able to stop it either. Just keep control to let it flow as evenly as possible.

 

[Headsprouter]

The way you tell, it sounds as if the guy was being a bit of a dick and the other people playing the board game with you should have pointed it out to save you the effort, but seeing as people aren't perfect they didn't and I would have recommended dealing with it calmly, but you aren't perfect either. I wouldn't blame you for raising your voice. It's not like you went as far as raising your hand in response.

I would have recommended calmly telling the guy he's being a bit of a dick (not literally, I'm sure you can think of some things you'd rather have said, ways to make him look stupid and unreasonable, ways to make him consider your position more). I'm sure the others would have backed you up, people aren't that bad.

There are ways to release emotions in a calm and responsible manner but there are times where people cannot be blamed for breaking down or blowing up. It is the person who bottles up the little things' responsibility to release their emotions safely and society's duty to allow them to. They key is to not hurt anybody and to avoid the inevitable "drama queen" image you'll get from freaking out regularly.

 

[Sonmi]

Unless you have an outlet for all of that bottled up emotion/stress, then no, I don't think so.

Whether be it physical or creative, you're going to need to find a way to evacuate all that stress, lest you eventually crack under the pressure.

 

[Terminal Blue]

I think you have to learn for yourself what is and isn't a healthy release of emotions. Personally, I would say that refusing to allow your emotions to negatively impact other people is a sign of strength, while refusing help or support from people or keeping things bottled up which are actively degrading your life is actually a sign of weakness. It shows a lack of trust in people and thus a fear of being hurt by them.

If this event is still upsetting you a year down the line, then chances are good that it wasn't a particularly helpful way to respond to the situation, but that can't be generalised into an overall fear or anxiety about showing any emotions at all. In my experience, if you try to keep everything bottled up all the time you.. end up getting a bit obsessed with really small events everyone else has probably long since forgotten.

 

[Lightknight]

It depends on how you look at it.

Just being able to bottle them up in general indicates emotional restraint which is a form of strength and control over yourself.

However,if you are bottling up your feelings because you don't want to look weak then it could be a fear response to insecurities rather than strength.

If it's just that you don't want to be vulnerable for non-insecurity reasons then the next answer to your question may be whether or not the bottling of emotions wears on you. For some people it doesn't which means they are "strong" enough to handle it.

Lastly, when you do come to a breaking point here and there, how bad is it? Is it a million times more severe than what is appropriate for that situation or just a small break?

I'd think to really view it as a strength the person would have to have consistent reservedness, no appearance of being worn down by it, and not prone to huge outlashes when it comes to a head. Many people defend against the last one by having various emotional outlets.

 

[hermajesty]

Definitely don't want to bottle up emotions. I've been seeing a therapist for over a year and it has helped me so much. Just literally discussing your problems out loud, no matter how big or small, helps immensely. Not only can bottling up result in anxiety and panic attacks, but you can have physical pains in the chest as well. These all happened to me, but I've seen good results after the therapy.

 

[Ambitiousmould]

I remember an episode of QI where they mentioned that angry outbursts eventually condition you. Because it feels good to explode, the more it happens the more you do it, so bottling is the way to go. Dunno about the validity of that, but QI's pretty chuffing good for the most part.

As for signs of strength, I don't know. What I do know is that I am not expressive in any emotion. The advantages I've found are that people say things like, "You're a rock" and "He's really good in an emergency, doesn't panic or owt.". On the downside, people think I'm fucking miserable, even when I'm actually having a right good day. Also people tend to get pissed off when I don't outwardly express huge amounts of happiness toward them when they show me something they think I'll like/they are proud of.

Also I don't have a visible smile until I actually laugh, which makes me look a tit in photos when they make me do a 'proper' smile. Like Chandler in that episode of Friends where they try to get a nice photo of him and Monica.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

There's a difference between bottling up emotions and having control over them. Bottling is more akin to getting gradually and gradually sexually repressed from ignoring dating and romance in your teens; it usually doesn't end well than if you were to just go ahead and get on with it. Controlling your emotions is good because exercising patience where it is the logical option (such as in the case of playing a board game with friends for the sake of fun) is nothing but good.

Then again I work security so I have to put up with a lot of shit. Students at night are really bratty and can be really repulsive, so you just learn to take everything as a glancing blow or just use force when negotiation fails.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Yes and no.

While I do control my emotion HOWEVER it is NOT HEALTHY to do it all the time! Also no I don't see it as a sign of strength as I too agreed with the people who said bs to bottle it all the time and be the sterotypical "man"! That bottle will eventaully break if left uncheck!

Also while this isn't referring to the OP direct but I do urge people to watch the below video

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Honestly I wish when I was younger I let my anger out more. Better to be able to show your anger and get a bit carried away sometimes than to be able to be stepped all over.

 

[BadNewDingus]

I've bottled up my emotions for years until a girl finally broke the dam. Suffice to say, it felt good letting them go. I've got Jon Stewart hair now with all the gray and I'm only 30.