Is Hell endothermic or exothermic

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Redratson

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Jun 23, 2009
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found this while surfing the web, enjoy XD

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull


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Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
 

delet

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Nov 2, 2008
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That is brilliant...

I would've just said "Hell doesn't exist and so the point is null..."
 

TheYellowCellPhone

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Sep 26, 2009
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I remember a similar story, except it was can hell freeze over. He went to explain in scientific detail, then he added:

"(insert student name here) said that the day I sleep with her is the day hell freezes over. Seeing that I have had no sexual relations to (insert student name here) then hell cannot freeze over."

Funny and very know-it-all.
 

JIst00

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Nov 11, 2009
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Old school, tho the one i read said he had slept with her the night before he cocluded that hell ust have indeed frozen over.
 

Georgie_Leech

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Nov 10, 2009
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That just made my day. I am now going to help spread this around the Internet; it's too awesome to not share.
 

MellowFellow

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Feb 14, 2010
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JIst00 said:
Old school, tho the one i read said he had slept with her the night before he cocluded that hell ust have indeed frozen over.
This is the version I have seen before too. I thought he did sleep with her.

OT: Old but still a great read.