Is it rude to ask someone how much they make?

[Mersadeon]

Yesterday night (or, well, technically today) I watched a stream of a popular Youtube reviewer, and the topic of his earnings came up. He told the stream that in Britain, it is considered very rude to ask how much someone makes, and wondered if it is the same in American culture.

So, state where you live right now or have lived and tell us if it is rude there - I'm really interested which cultures think what. Do Americans really have no problem with it?

 

[krazykidd]

While i can speak for the entire country . My mother ( who came from a third world country ) taught me that it is rude to ask that . I mean it's nobodies business but their own . So everytime someone asks me that , i say none of your business .

Now what my mother taught me is to be taken with a heap of salt because :

A) She's old
B) Was brought up in a 3rd world country ( Barbados)
C)Hasn't really caught up with the times .

 

[Albino Boo]

Yesterday night (or, well, technically today) I watched a stream of a popular Youtube reviewer, and the topic of his earnings came up. He told the stream that in Britain, it is considered very rude to ask how much someone makes, and wondered if it is the same in American culture.

So, state where you live right now or have lived and tell us if it is rude there - I'm really interested which cultures think what. Do Americans really have no problem with it?

I am British and it is definitely rude to ask how much money you make. While in the country no one has ever asked me that. I have been asked while in the states and I had some fun when I replied that I make zero dollars a year.

 

[shootthebandit]

It depends on the conversation. To ask someone out of the blue seems a little rude but if the conversation is about money and finances then it makes sense for both parties to know

 

[MetalDooley]

In Ireland I would say it depends.If you were to just come out and ask someone then yes it would be considered rude.If you were having a conversation about that persons career with perhaps the intention of pursuing that career yourself then it'd probably be fine to ask

 

[HoneyVision]

Yes. For the most part it is. Simply because it's none of your business and it's very personal information.

If the conversation leads to it then sometimes it's alright because the expectation builds up and the person might feel it coming. But when in doubt just don't ask it.

 

[Smertnik]

I never quite understood what is supposed to be rude about it, unless you have a really shitty job and don't want others to know. It's one thing in TB's case where, as he pointed out, he can't disclose that kind of information because of various reasons but if you've got an average occupation what's the big deal?

 

[shrekfan246]

It's rude to ask, but that doesn't mean you have to get offended by it. I think one of the comments in the chat of TB's stream hit the note right one: It's still rude in America, the difference is just that Americans are rude.

Now, obviously this is a gross oversimplification and generalization, and of course it's not an American thing to not consider another person when you're actually asking about them. But there does seem to be a slightly higher ratio of people who just completely forget about those whole empathy and privacy things here in America. Especially once you get all of those people who go "Well, if you're not breaking the law then you've got nothing to hide!" You're right, I may not have to hide anything. That doesn't mean I want you to go through all of my things and find the types of porn I like, or the fact that I've got Aqua and As I Lay Dying right next to each other on my media player list, or my e-mail addresses. That's part of my personal business, and I'm entitled to keep it that way if I so desire.

 

[Chemical Alia]

I feel that it is a bit rude to ask, though I am often asked this question on the internet. Usually by people who do not live in the US or who are still young, so I don't really mind.

For the record, I make $703,935,u84,430.0100.

 

[Juste Goose]

It's rude to ask, at least where I come from. I suppose everything depends on the context though.

 

[shootthebandit]

I really dont see why its a big deal. I dont mind telling people how much i earn because in the grand scheme of things it doesnt matter. I dont earn a great deal (roughly national average) but i earn enough money to pay my bills and live a comfortable life with a decent car and have most of the nice things that i want. Considering 7.7% (of those who can work) of the UK are unemployed. We should be grateful for any wage TBH

I dont even see why it should be relevant unless that person is looking to go into your line of work. Its also pretty easy to guess someones salary based on their job. I would also be interested if the person was from another country just to get an idea of international wage differences

It annoys me how we use salary to guage how "succesful" we are

 

[Elfgore]

I would say it is rude to just ask in a random conversation how much they make. But if the conversation is about money, financial, etc. topics then I would think it would be alright. I wouldn't be mad if they didn't want to answer.

 

[spartan231490]

Yes, it is very rude to ask someone how much they make unless the conversation is already on a very similar topic and you know the person pretty well.

 

[Something Amyss]

It's still considered impolite to ask or tell in America by a lot of people. However, we're quickly shedding our courtesy as we spend more and more time staring at our phones for human contact rather than other people.

 

[Rednog]

I think for your average job for a person you don't know it's a bit rude...though in the case for a streamer I kind of don't know. Internet personalities/streamers seem like sort of an odd exception to me because when I think about it I've heard almost every other one complain about money issues for one reason or another. Though I really don't think I'd personally ask, it would be interesting to know especially since there are streamers who still have donate buttons despite the rumor being that many internet personalities do make significantly more than your average joe.

 

[Kristian Fischer]

Yes, it's very rude. Don't talk about money, politics or religion.

 

[suitepee7]

in britain, and kind of...

talking to my friends about it is generally fine, nobody really cares. if it was someone i didn't know as well or something then yeah, it'd be pretty rude

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

I think it is considered rude here in the US but I don't really see why. It isn't that personal of information, not like I'm asking what your sex life is like or asking if you have any severe illnesses. And it mostly depends on the individual in question too. Some people talk freely about how little or how much they make and others get buttmad about being asked.

I talk freely about how little I make and it doesn't bother me, as do all of my friends, coworkers, teachers, etc.
But some people get really defensive about it and deny talking about it in conversations about finances and jobs.
I hope soon the stigma against it will drop soon, it'll help give me something to talk about with people when they decide to randomly strike up empty conversation with me.

 

[jamail77]

For the most part, I'd argue it's rude. I live in the state of California though in a "quaint" small town suburb an hour drive away from L.A. I have been to other states but not long enough or through enough of their entire area to tell you otherwise. This is not one of those things that flies across the board because of that identity and cultural difference that is arguably stronger than other places because of our attitude, size, access to things, etc.

My Mom hates the question: I just asked her if she considers it rude as a general, national and social rule and she said yes (I'm a college student taking a semester off and taking transferable classes at a local community college instead of my normal university for those wondering how I asked my Mom). That's her though.

I know people either so comfortable around people or so rude around them they would ask out of curiosity. We can talk about it among other people if not referring to ourselves. Now that I think about it, the rude/acceptable ratio is probably like 60/40. I know I've talked about it now and then, but it's always been with people my age and it's either about a part-time job for school (which is a little different and more obvious without saying anything) or our parents and what we think they make or know they make that we somehow found out through some means. Once you get a career, I feel like it's one of those questions you just don't ask offhand that often. The older you are the more likely you hate the question I think too.

Like others said, there are certain contexts it's acceptable in and around certain people and that might differ from here to Britain, in which it sounds like there MAY be no acceptable contexts.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

There is a social contract for most of these kinds of topics. But as a general rule, I'd say yes. It's quite rude unless the person offers the information or brings up the topic.

2 examples:

I've been dating my girlfriend for nearly a year and I don't know how much she makes. Unless we get married some day, it's really none of my business.

A friend of mine was once quite irate at his bosses. He'd gotten a "promotion" that essentially broke down to more work with less pay and a superficial title and some petty power. He was upset about it and salaries came into the conversation. At this point we were riding a 13 year long friendship and it only then came up for the first time. And I was still a little uneasy at asking how much they were paying him. The saddest part was the number he shared with me though. It was literally 10 grand less than I made and he was a college grad while I was a lowly salesman at a crap retailer.