Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[Thaluikhain]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system.

Is it part of your moral system that after you've had sex once, nobody else except that one person should date you?

If not, this rather smacks of hypocracy.

If so, this is likely to cause problems.

 

[coblen]

It's not finding a virgin thats hard, its finding a virgin willing to give you a lock of hair and vial of blood.

date em for a year seeming like a normal person.

I'd be willing to bet by that point you could convince them into all sorts of things. The least of which being a small donation of hair or blood.

My first anniversary with my gf is coming up. Might have to put this to practice.

 

[Risingblade]

It's not something people like to brag about...so yes you can find some though they might not mention it.

 

[weker]

Their more rare then a man, I am fairly sure, and most of them will be abstinent.
I don't understand why you would have this in your morals, and it give me personally the "she has been corrupted" bullshit, which if it wasn't evident I don't agree with.

If you include not trying any drugs such as smoking or drinking, your kinda pushing you luck on ever picking anyone up.

 

[chadachada123]

Not that hard. My first "real" girlfriend was a virgin (always less pressure when it's both of your first times). I've still never smoked anything or done drugs. I drink a fair bit though, though not with the intention of getting wasted (that's only fun with friends and video games).

OP, just know that you likely will change your views as you age and mature. I used to think just like you (like, exactly), and I changed my views just after college. Some people, I imagine, just stop giving a damn. In my situation, I fell in love with a girl, so I didn't care much whether she was a virgin or not, and since I wasn't anymore I didn't have the right to judge.

You know, in hindsight, I had similar feelings myself in high school. I didn't drink until after graduation, didn't smoke pot for the first time for another year, and another year later, just this summer, had my first foray into a hallucinogen (shrooms). In high school, I refused to date girls that drank or did anything else, and tried to date virgins where possible.

I'm 20 now, and boy have I changed a lot in just two years, let alone throughout high school. I used to think that dating a girl two grades different was not just strange but abhorrent, but now I realize that age is mostly irrelevant so long as love (or at least, understanding that it's not love but just sex, whichever the case may be) is there.

 

[Nickompoop]

Sup. You're looking at a college student who hasn't done any of those things.

Though, the lack of beer drinking is because I can't digest it (celiac) and I have never even had the opportunities to either get high or get laid.

 

[FortheLegion]

Well I'm 18 now and while I haven't had sex yet, I have gotten drunk(it was legal where I was at the time) and I have gotten high off cough syrup on multiple occasions...
I will probably never smoke..

 

[Commissar Sae]

Well my girlfriend and I were both virgins when we started dating. We both drink a bit on occasion but hardly heavily and pretty much just for the taste (though she is a lightweight). She also smoked a bit before we started dating but hasn't in the year we've been together. Honestly you're looking for a "pure maiden" kind of stereotype that you probably won't ever find.

Honestly sticking to those as your main basis for finding a girl is more creepy than anything else. Find someone you can love, what does it matter if she had a drink when she was 16 or tried smoking. I get not wanting an alchoholic, chain smoking slut but there is a middle ground you know.

 

[Vankraken]

I didn't do any of those things because I am a gamer. The whole drug/drinking thing to me is pointless because im doing fine without expensive, harmful, and illegal acts so why bother starting? The sex thing wasn't so much by choice but I didn't find a girl I could relate to until college. Then again I'm not the type of person to play the whole dating game to buy / bullshit my way into someones pants. Its been a good 8 years since I was in high school and I wouldn't have done much differently.

Protip: High School kids think they are living the most important time of there life until they hit college/work force and realize that all there petty problems are bullshit and hollow. (not being cynical, just honest)

Edit: Who cares if somebody is a virgin as long as they aren't a slut. Someone who isn't a virgin because they were in a 1+ year relationship is different than somebody who has sex after 3 dates or after getting some jewelry. The quality of a person's character is far more important than if they are a virgin or not. (avoid labeling people it only causes problems. Yes i labeled myself as a gamer in the beginning of this but i can label myself whatever the fuck i want cause its me )

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

Just so I can claim to make an actual contribution to this conversation, I see where you're coming from. I mean I respect and appreciate clean women, I'm just not entirely unreasonable with those views. Everybody has their own way of living, and I accept that as a given. I do make it a point, however, not to date women that abuse drugs, not at all. It isn't attractive and I don't like spending my time with people when they aren't themselves.

 

[Xeraxis]

Don't give up hope, your ideal girl is out there somewhere. I had given up hope finding the girl of my dreams, and sure enough she appeared in my life after all. Whatever your standards may be, you will find her, given time and patience.

Not to be demeaning towards you, but do you know how many times I've heard that, or something similar, from people? It annoys me how often people pull out that cliche phrasing.

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

As for your question OP, no it isn't. I am one of those people you pointed out. Never did pot, never illegally drank, never had sex. Never even had first kiss or girlfriend.

It seems you are one of the few "innocent" ones that are in high school. I hated everything about those years then, because almost everyone was either an idiot or exposed in so many ways. Felt like I was the only one who had any sense of decent morality.

You're bound to find some people that haven't done such things. Just depends on where you're looking. Usually those people are introverted or more socially withdrawn.

 

[spartan231490]

Sorta. Virgins beyond high school are a rarity, but there are some of them. I mean, a study found that the average man has 11 sexual partners before they marry, and the average woman has 7. And drinking pre-21 is almost mandatory, so I don't think you're going to find what your looking for, but good luck.

Also, why is drinking or smoking legal drugs at an illegal age immoral? Just curious.

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

My body is pure and undamaged by such profanities as pointless copulation and mind wavering corruption that is drugs or smokes or that disgusting monstrosities that are chews. I am 17 and I do not count the years I am a virgin, but count the years until I found she that is normal and smart, and realizing, and thoughtful.

And yes, I've been reading too much Shakespeare. Doesn't help that I'm fresh from reading some of Frank Miller's Batman graphic novels. Hey, I'm feeling poetic right now.

 

[walrusaurus]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

There are a lot more of them than you think. They just aren't loud about it. No one walks down the halls of their high school proclaiming how chaste, and sober they are. Well maybe the religious whack-jobs that are trying to convert people. Its just not how our culture works.

You'll find alot more people like you once you get to college. The thing about high school is that your social group is determined by what activities you do. Where as in college your more or less able to associate with whoever you please regardless of your interests. The people i surrounded myself with in college were by and large more of the straight arrow type. We drank socially, but that was about it. They all poked fun at me for months when they found out i tried pot after work one day.

EDIT: I was speaking more of habitual behaviors. If your looking for someone whose lips have never touched alcohol. That may be more difficult. A lot more rare than virginity.

Frankly i've never understood the hangup on whether or not people are virgins. Its just another form of intimacy, and who are you to judge whether or not someone else had a meaningful relationship. Maybe that makes me a fornicating heathen but there it is.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man

Really? REALLY? In this day and age? The drug thing is fine - smart even - but virgins?

There is nothing magical about not having had sex yet.

Would you only date someone who'd never driven a car?

Would you only date someone who'd never eaten your favorite food?

Would you only date someone who's never seen (picks a movie at random from nearby video shelf) Scott Pilgrim?

If virginity is that important to you, then I feel very sorry for any girl you do end up dating, since with an attitude like that I can't imagine you care much for her as a person.

I'd ask if you were a virgin too (testing for hypocrisy) but honestly there is no good answer. If you are, then you're condemning her to have her first time with someone who has no idea what he's doing, and if you aren't, then you're just a hypocrite.

Again, your policy about drug use is good - you don't want to be dating someone who will get you in legal trouble. However, virginity is NOT the same - not at all. What gives you the right to impose your wishes on someone else's body?

 

[rabidmidget]

I know what you mean, my ritual of nyarlathotep requires the blood of 5 virgins and you wouldn't believe the trouble I have been having finding the right candidates.

 

[Jedoro]

Of course there are. Just look online. Actually, you'll probably find a lot of people on here that never did any of that in high school.

My thoughts exactly

OT: Dude, unless you're friends with the girl before you date her, you're most likely not going to know if she's a virgin or not. Last I checked, it's not something everyone advertises on the first date. So, I'm sure it's hard to find a virgin, but not because absolutely every girl in high school has gotten laid.

 

[Heronblade]

Well, you're not quite alone. Virgin till I was 19, never illegally drank (never been drunk legally or otherwise), and the only drugs to ever go in my system that were not OTC were when I was 10, unconscious, and in the hospital. Never saw a point in risking serious problems with my health and my mind for the sake of a temporary and (in the case of drugs, not sex) illusory pleasure.

But no, you've got a rather high standard there if you want to ever find a girl. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, there are indeed a fair number of women out there keeping to the old fashioned idea of saving themselves for marriage, but the odds are definitely not stacked in your favor. Especially since you're not likely to meet the aforementioned group in any of the places you've probably been looking.

Stick to looking for a girl that isn't a slut, and the playing field should improve drastically. Then all you have to worry about is the million and one other possible problems with finding a decent date.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

I, and most of my closest friends are all virgins who don't drink, smoke or do drugs (we are really bad at breaking the speed limit though)

I'm 23 and a Christian, but if you are looking for someone who isn't a devout Christian and still adheres to these morals then they are probably pretty rare to come across these days. All the best in your search for that "other half"

 

[Johnny Impact]

I am 34 years old. In my entire life:
All the alcohol I have consumed amounts to less than one drink;
I have had one puff of one cigarette;
I have never smoked, injected, snorted, or in any other way "done" any illegal substance.

I did not have my first date until I was 20 years old. Go ahead and snigger, I'm used to it.

I agree with everything you said except the virginity thing. People have relationships. Relationships involve sex. It's just a fact. The older you get, the harder -- and creepier! -- it will be to find a girl who has never been in a relationship. It's reasonable to hope your female has not been intimate with every other guy in town, but if you demand virginity, you're going to have a *very* lonely existence.

Smoking is a vile, filthy habit and an instant dealbreaker. Alcohol and illegal substances, not so much. I wouldn't mind if she had a couple drinks to socialize, or smoked a little pot here and there. Flat-out drunkenness is unacceptable, my dad was a drunk and I do not tolerate it in others. Hard drugs are trouble I don't need.