Is it weird/creepy for a 19 year to date a 17 year old?

[klaynexas3]

I'd say no, as I dated a 17 year old when I was 19. I also dated a 24 year old when I was 19, but that's just because I like older women because they seem to have their shit together better than I do. I live in North Carolina, and the last I checked with age of consent laws, the age of consent here is kind of 16. Like, a 16 year old can legally have sex with another 16 year old or a 17 year old, and a 17 year old can have sex with a 16, 17, 18, and 19 year old person, and then when you're 18 you can fuck anything that can say yes 18 years of age and older. It's kind of weird, but it works out for people that are dating people in a relatively close age range, just not letting, say, a teacher legally have sex with an underage student.

The whole point of this post is to say no, it's not creepy for that reason alone. Other things can make it creepy, but the age alone is not the creepy part.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

UK too. 16 is legal, 2 years is nothing. what got you wondering?

 

[Queen Michael]

It's fine. The sex might get legally tricky, but dating's fine.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

I think it's kind of weird for an adult to date someone in highschool. Seems shady as fuck. I mean you might be at university and you're spending time eith highschoolers and their friends?

I mean, friendships ain't too bad... but romantic relstionship? Ehhh... nah.

It's not really a matter of years, either. It's purely a matter of scene. I feel like highdchoolers should be dating their own. Pretend relationships. Like how young children play house. That's me though. Maybe as a former teacher it might be colouring my perspective given our duty of care.

 

[NPC009]

I think it's kind of weird for an adult to date someone in highschool. Seems shady as fuck. I mean you might be at university and you're spending time eith highschoolers and their friends?

I mean, friendships ain't too bad... but romantic relstionship? Ehhh... nah.

It's not really a matter of years, either. It's purely a matter of scene. I feel like highdchoolers should be dating their own. Pretend relationships. Like how young children play house. That's me though. Maybe as a former teacher it might be colouring my perspective given our duty of care.

If one is 17 and the other 19, it's very possible they met in high school. They might just be one grade apart. Should they just drop the relationship just because one of them is going to college? Besides, just because they're both in their late teens doesn't mean the relationship can't be serious. It's not that uncommon for couples who got together at that age to stay together, get married, have children and so on.

 

[Yoshi178]

no. if you were 29 it would be weird but 2 years apart is fine

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

If one is 17 and the other 19, it's very possible they met in high school. They might just be one grade apart. Should they just drop the relationship just because one of them is going to college? Besides, just because they're both in their late teens doesn't mean the relationship can't be serious. It's not that uncommon for couples who got together at that age to stay together, get married, have children and so on.

Yeah, I can see that ... but I would imagine by that time no one would think the relationship weird by that point, if you catch my meaning. I mean my grandmother was 17 and my grandfather was a second year apprentice fitter and turner when he apparently approached her father and asked if they could be engaged. But then again, back then being 40 years old and still having most of your teeth in decent nick was nothing to laugh at.

I can't think of anyone in my highschool that had a relationship last more than a year.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Time to bring out the xkcd:

The formula approves. This time.

No. What? No.

Isn't there a formula for this?

Half your age plus 7... I think.

Half of 19 is 9.5 plus 7 equals 16.5. Seeing as the person is 17, things seem perfectly fine.

The formula is law.

That's a weird first post.

It all has to start somewhere.

 

[Saltyk]

Pretty sure it's perfectly legal. The biggest issue I can see is the 17 year old's family. But other than that, it should be fine.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

Nothing remotely unusual there. Again, UK, age of consent 16 etc.

 

[Cycloptomese]

I'm 38 and my wife is 35. That's a three year difference. I'd say it's all good. Nobody ever gives me any shit about it. Then again, anyone who knows us knows that she's much more mature than I am.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

I live in the UK, but I always thought that the age of consent was only 16 for people aged between 16-18, and 18+ for everyone else.

It was recently changed to 18 for people in position of responsibility over that person. E.g. it used to be legal for a teacher to have sex with a 16-17 year old student of theirs, but not now. That's probably where the confusion comes in.

 

[DeliveryGodNoah_v1legacy]

Well, I started dating my girlfriend when she was 17 and I was 20. The thing is though, we were both in high school when we met, and if we dated then no one would have thought anything of it.

I think the general rule around here is if they are under 18 and you are more than 4 years apart, then it gets a little iffy. I don't personally mind it even then, as long as there isn't any malicious intent (such as taking advantage of a younger mind by using age stature as a crutch).

However the defining thing here is, what do their parents think? Because if I would have dated my girlfriend when she was 17 and her mother didn't like me, I could get in trouble then. Luckily her mother loves me.

 

[mecegirl]

I don't think it's really weird or creepy...The main thing that would make it creepy would be if the 19 year old was dating the 17 year old because the 17 year old is 17.

Pretty much this. Unless the 19 year old is the type to specifically go for folks in highschool then no. In most cases folks would just assume that they went to the same high school and continued to date after the 19 year old went to college. Even if they met outside of school so long as the 17 year old wasn't crashing some college party (or vice versa) no one would have an issue with it. It's only a two year gap.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Why not? My first girlfriend was 17 when I was 19. Do note we were already dating nearly two tears before, although we did not attend the same highschool.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

I just want to say just because it is legal, doesn't make something morally right. For example, a 20 year old could date a 17 year old, but that's kind of weird due to age gap/maturity issues or say a 26 year old can date an 18 year old but again, it's kinda weird socially. I was wondering, does 19 and 17 fall into the weird socially dating despite being legal like those two examples?

 

[Thaluikhain]

I just want to say just because it is legal, doesn't make something morally right. For example, a 20 year old could date a 17 year old, but that's kind of weird due to age gap/maturity issues or say a 26 year old can date an 18 year old but again, it's kinda weird socially. I was wondering, does 19 and 17 fall into the weird socially dating despite being legal like those two examples?

Certainly, though you seem to be equating society and morality there, which aren't quite the same thing.

Also, you might want to specify if you mean a certain society, or regional area, as attitudes vary.

Not to mention, the specifics of the individual circumstances.

I might say it's weird in that it's somewhat unusual, but if everyone is a consenting adult, and there's not manipulation or coercion or anything to invalidate that consent, it's not my business.

 

[Saulkar]

I will add my echo to the chamber and say that as long as they are 16 or older and the person they are dating is not in a position of power over them or using coercion then all is well.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

Is it unusual though?