Is it wrong to ask out a professor?
- Thread starter Strain42
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If you're going to graduate soon anyway there's no problem from the student dating teacher angle anymore, but just out of curiosity, what is the age difference? I can only assume that she's older, and if the gap is too wide, you'll run into problems with a completely different social taboo.
Dating a tutor is hardly the same thing, and I don't think society frowns on that at all. It's not like the tutor is the one giving out grades and what not.lisadagz said:
Isn't kind of a stereotype that all professors are sleeping with their students?
if they're good looking I spose it aint that bad a stereotype.
if they're good looking I spose it aint that bad a stereotype.
To quote Barney Stinson:
You know that Bible saying, "Love thy neighbour"?
Well, here's the Platinum rule. Never EVER "LOVE" thy neighbour.
In layman's terms, never crap where you eat. Make sure there will not be a professional relationship before you start a persona one.
You know that Bible saying, "Love thy neighbour"?
Well, here's the Platinum rule. Never EVER "LOVE" thy neighbour.
In layman's terms, never crap where you eat. Make sure there will not be a professional relationship before you start a persona one.
You'd have to check certain laws in the university and your country first. But I don't think it's illegal if there's no conflict of interest. It's one of the reasons why I couldn't take my father's course- even though I really wanted to.
If you're really worried about it, wait until after you graduate, let her know your interest in her beforehand and that you'd like to continue the relationship after you graduate. It's not wrong at all.
If you're really worried about it, wait until after you graduate, let her know your interest in her beforehand and that you'd like to continue the relationship after you graduate. It's not wrong at all.
So long as you're not one of her students (in which case it still wouldn't be "wrong", just awkward), I say go for it!
On most schools it's against the rules (you can both get thrown out), so you might want to wait until you are out the door before you jump on this.
It is ethically unacceptable to partake in any form of romantic relationship, physical or emotional with a professor or student when either is involved, even partially with the others work.
It's not really a matter of safety or cautiousness, it's a matter of respect for her position and yours.
If she says yes and the authorities find out she WILL be fired and you WILL be expelled so if you do have a chance with this woman do yourself a favour and wait.
And besides, you might just be freaking out over having actually met someone worth talking to, take some time to see if you actually like her.
It's not really a matter of safety or cautiousness, it's a matter of respect for her position and yours.
If she says yes and the authorities find out she WILL be fired and you WILL be expelled so if you do have a chance with this woman do yourself a favour and wait.
And besides, you might just be freaking out over having actually met someone worth talking to, take some time to see if you actually like her.
If I had a dollar for every time I've let someone get away just because it's not "appropriate" to have that type of relationship given whatever our professional association was, only to see her going out with some other guy from work six months later... well I'd only have about $3, but still. If she's worried about getting fired over it, she'll tell you no**, which honestly she might do for any number of reasons other than getting fired. If you think it's cool, go for it. What's the worst that can happen?
**This is the worst that can happen.
**This is the worst that can happen.
I say go for it, though maybe wait until you're no longer a student at the college. Maybe tell her that you're interested in dating her after you're finished.
Go for it !Strain42 said:
It's your life and you don't have to play up to other people expectations.
As others have pointed out, you're best off waiting until you graduate, just so there's no conflict of interest or potential college disciplinary matters, but other than that, if you and her click & get along well, go for it.
Hope you and her do well. Good luck dude!
Hope you and her do well. Good luck dude!
Since its not a smart ide for both of you(specially for her) to engadge in a relationship(doesnt matter wich kind) I would suggest you wait until u have graduated!Strain42 said:
BUT... you can give her hints about how you feel or if you have the guts you can ask her if she would be interested in something after you have graduated!
No harm in two adult talking right
Ah, I'm not sure if this is a UK thing, an art school thing or if I've simply got the terminology wrong. These tutors were also lecturers, and tutors/lecturers (I understand that they're often both?) are also in charge of the assessment and the grading of our work, with deferral to outside moderators when required. As far as I'm aware, no one in my university or, as far as I've heard, in any universities my friends have gone to (except for Oxford) is called a Professor.Gatx said:
There is usually a section in the student handbook about it, but if she's not involved in any part of your learning, it's totally fine, there is no problem, no conflict of interest, profit gain etc.
All together now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4GZFbCqx18
All together now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4GZFbCqx18
Awwww.... I was gonna post that! Still makes me laugh though.Seabear said:
OT: Sure, go for it. After you graduate I don't see the harm in asking, and there's nothing wrong with just asking her. Who knows,she just might say yes!
Good luck dude!
Good luck, Strain! I would definitely advise waiting until you've got your degree; "talking in the halls" is not an close step to dating, so making sure that it is easy for you not to be forced together is the best option.Strain42 said:You sound like you're trying to give a pep talk to someone who's about to rob a convenience store.The Unworthy Gentleman said:What's stopping you? The possible repercussions from it. When did living lose it's place to maintaining life? Yeah, stumble through each day comfortably, don't do the things you aren't supposed to, follow the rules, be healthy and maybe, just maybe, you'll live long enough to regret your entire life.
Or take the shot and do what you want, regardless of reasoning.
You actually have to be kidding me, CAPTCHA.
Sorry that I don't see me risking graduation and possibly ruining someones career for a couple dates as the preferable option.
I understand what you're trying to say, but it doesn't really apply to this situation.
I think I'll ask her out, but I'll probably wait a little while. Maybe not until May, but close enough to where we can discuss the options once I'm out of school.
Wish me luck, people.
And Unworthy Gentleman: CAPTCHA saw your avatar, and figured that one foreign language is pretty much like another.