Is it wrong to ask out a professor?

[AntiChri5]

The teacher student relationship is one built on a fundamental inequality.

But, as you aren't her student, that shouldn't be a problem. You should definitely wait the few months till you graduate though.

You will likely only get one shot, don't want to ruin it.

 

[Akimoto]

2. As of May 13th, I won't even be a student at this particular college anymore.

Graduate and go for it! If both of you are willing, why not? Just get ready for those who would not approve - keep calm and carry on.

Smart guy you are. Teacher student relationships are messy. I once had too good a relationship with one of my guitar students.

 

[Appleshampoo]

It's not against the rules but it is 'Frowned upon'

 

[Gatx]

If you're going to graduate soon anyway there's no problem from the student dating teacher angle anymore, but just out of curiosity, what is the age difference? I can only assume that she's older, and if the gap is too wide, you'll run into problems with a completely different social taboo.

I know a lass who dated her ex-tutor, last time I saw her she'd been dating him for a year.

My boyfriend's sister had a baby with her ex-tutor, they were together for about four years.

It may raise a few eyebrows but it's not unheard of or totally condemned... providing you're no longer a student at her institution.

Dating a tutor is hardly the same thing, and I don't think society frowns on that at all. It's not like the tutor is the one giving out grades and what not.

 

[keideki]

Meh seems fair enough. Your going to be done soon, if she brings up that you are a student tell her you will ask again when you are done and wait.

 

[Hellz_Barz]

Isn't kind of a stereotype that all professors are sleeping with their students?
if they're good looking I spose it aint that bad a stereotype.

 

[CrazyJew]

To quote Barney Stinson:

You know that Bible saying, "Love thy neighbour"?

Well, here's the Platinum rule. Never EVER "LOVE" thy neighbour.

In layman's terms, never crap where you eat. Make sure there will not be a professional relationship before you start a persona one.

 

[Berenzen]

You'd have to check certain laws in the university and your country first. But I don't think it's illegal if there's no conflict of interest. It's one of the reasons why I couldn't take my father's course- even though I really wanted to.

If you're really worried about it, wait until after you graduate, let her know your interest in her beforehand and that you'd like to continue the relationship after you graduate. It's not wrong at all.

 

[DannyJBeckett]

So long as you're not one of her students (in which case it still wouldn't be "wrong", just awkward), I say go for it!

 

[Smooth Operator]

On most schools it's against the rules (you can both get thrown out), so you might want to wait until you are out the door before you jump on this.

 

[RhineVonFarl]

It is ethically unacceptable to partake in any form of romantic relationship, physical or emotional with a professor or student when either is involved, even partially with the others work.

It's not really a matter of safety or cautiousness, it's a matter of respect for her position and yours.

If she says yes and the authorities find out she WILL be fired and you WILL be expelled so if you do have a chance with this woman do yourself a favour and wait.



And besides, you might just be freaking out over having actually met someone worth talking to, take some time to see if you actually like her.

 

[TheEndlessGrey]

If I had a dollar for every time I've let someone get away just because it's not "appropriate" to have that type of relationship given whatever our professional association was, only to see her going out with some other guy from work six months later... well I'd only have about $3, but still. If she's worried about getting fired over it, she'll tell you no**, which honestly she might do for any number of reasons other than getting fired. If you think it's cool, go for it. What's the worst that can happen?

**This is the worst that can happen.

 

[Creator002]

I say go for it, though maybe wait until you're no longer a student at the college. Maybe tell her that you're interested in dating her after you're finished.

 

[JesterRaiin]

So on that note...what do you think, Fellow Escapists? I'm hot for teacher, but what should I do about it?

Go for it !
It's your life and you don't have to play up to other people expectations.

 

[Jaythulhu]

As others have pointed out, you're best off waiting until you graduate, just so there's no conflict of interest or potential college disciplinary matters, but other than that, if you and her click & get along well, go for it.

Hope you and her do well. Good luck dude!

 

[zuro64]

Let me make a few things perfectly clear before anyone answers.

1. I'm not even one of her students. We just talk sometimes when I'm waiting in the hallway for my other class to start, and
2. As of May 13th, I won't even be a student at this particular college anymore.

She's just a very attractive, smart and witty woman that I enjoy talking with. I've considered asking her out a few times, but I know there's more often than not a lot of taboo about students and teachers, and I wouldn't want to risk getting either of us into trouble (or looking stupid if I ask her and she has to explain to me what I basically just said)

So on that note...what do you think, Fellow Escapists? I'm hot for teacher, but what should I do about it?

Since its not a smart ide for both of you(specially for her) to engadge in a relationship(doesnt matter wich kind) I would suggest you wait until u have graduated!

BUT... you can give her hints about how you feel or if you have the guts you can ask her if she would be interested in something after you have graduated!

No harm in two adult talking right

 

[gazumped]

If you're going to graduate soon anyway there's no problem from the student dating teacher angle anymore, but just out of curiosity, what is the age difference? I can only assume that she's older, and if the gap is too wide, you'll run into problems with a completely different social taboo.

I know a lass who dated her ex-tutor, last time I saw her she'd been dating him for a year.

My boyfriend's sister had a baby with her ex-tutor, they were together for about four years.

It may raise a few eyebrows but it's not unheard of or totally condemned... providing you're no longer a student at her institution.

Dating a tutor is hardly the same thing, and I don't think society frowns on that at all. It's not like the tutor is the one giving out grades and what not.

Ah, I'm not sure if this is a UK thing, an art school thing or if I've simply got the terminology wrong. These tutors were also lecturers, and tutors/lecturers (I understand that they're often both?) are also in charge of the assessment and the grading of our work, with deferral to outside moderators when required. As far as I'm aware, no one in my university or, as far as I've heard, in any universities my friends have gone to (except for Oxford) is called a Professor.

 

[Seabear]

There is usually a section in the student handbook about it, but if she's not involved in any part of your learning, it's totally fine, there is no problem, no conflict of interest, profit gain etc.

All together now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4GZFbCqx18