Is it wrong to reach out?

[Viirin]

What I mean in the title:

The only social life I have, mostly have ever had, is online, and not because of choice. I'm disabled and can't even walk on my own most the time. I have no ability on my own to go out and hang with anyone, and even if I could, I don't know anyone.
I don't drink, or do drugs, and am not promiscuous, so I figure I would not be welcome at a party anyway.

Because of my nearly complete lack of social life, I have not learned how to interact with humans. Should I keep trying to reach out and find a way to make friends and find things in common with others, or not even bother?

I do suffer from clinical depression / schitzophrenia / manic-depressive / aspergers so this thread may just be my emotional stability dwindling, so please forgive me if this is not something you are willing to read/respond to. I'm also unwilling to defend myself due to aformentioned states, so if someone else finds someone's response to be offensive please report them for me. Normally I wouldn't write this, but I'm really not in a great or stable mood right now.

I ask the title question because most of the times I try to reach out, I am trolled or flamed. I do try to be 'like a duck' and let the 'water' roll off my 'oil', but I'm not as good as it as I'd like. I've gotten a thousand fold better than I ever was before, but as I see it, people only seem to care about where I'm at now. I can't blame that though; everyone didn't know me before or see my progress.

Let me restate and stop my legendary long-winded-ness. If I feel bad after 80% of the times I try to gain friends or even just talk with a human, should I stop? Should I keep trying, no matter how consistently it hurts, with no benefit showing itself even over time?

 

[tharglet]

Imo it's worth having friends if you can find them ^^. I'm pretty isolated atm, cos I don't really know anyone in RL I share much in common with. Where I live, there aren't so many with my common interests (or they're hard to find) and at work it's a bit of a bizarro programming department that really isn't that much into gaming. (I really need a new job for a few reasons, this being one).

Tbh, you can still go to parties without drinking, drugs and being promiscuous. I don't do the drugs and the promiscuity and sometimes I didn't do the drinking, but I still went out some at uni. Tbh, if other people are drunk, they won't know or care if you are or not. Yer, most parties end up with someone necking in the corner, but it doesn't need to be you. Prolly not the best place to make friends... better to go to parties with friends met elsewhere. Then they're more likely to be a party where you can have a good time.

For me... talking online helped me interact better with people in RL. I used to be terrible at starting conversations and that, but being in MMO guilds allowed me to see "normal-ish" conversations and think of ideas to talk about with other people, and try those skills out.

Dunno what's worse... being friendless and being able to go out, or being friendless because you can't go out ¬¬.

 

[Viirin]

It's a conundrum, agreed.
I got better the same way you say you did- I started playing MMOs in 1997 with Ultima Online, and went to other games and guilds afterwards. Initially I couldn't even talk to people in-game, magically teleporting the second someone would talk to me. Years later I didn't do that for whatever reason, and a year after that, joined a guild. Got comfortable, saw that a guild of 3 people wasn't enough, so I joined a different guild with a very specific build requirement, but it was a small and close-knit family-type guild.
Eventually the guild became the biggest alliance the game ever saw, and I remained. I learned much of what I know about how to talk via trial and error with them. Ventrilo got to be the next step, and finally knowing each other's real names, addresses, phone numbers, backgrounds, etc. We don't agree with each other on most things, but that's the way the world is. You can have friends you disagree with or fight with. I learned that from them.

Eventually I went to college to get gaming degrees and learned even more and got my first girlfriend which lasted around 5 years. Unfortunately, I found a different problem. It was that instead of always being lonely and thinking that is just the way things are for everyone, I learned through gaming that I couldn't be more wrong. I was no where near the only one, but there are people who weren't that depressed and lonely that often. I wonder now- after having friends at one point at least, which is worse.

Having no friends and being lonely and not knowing that life could be better;
or knowing it could, but not for you, because you're stuck in someone's garage with no ability to get away.