Is roleplay sex okay?

[Grabbin Keelz]

Okay, so here's the story.

I have a female friend whom I chat with online. We've known each other for quite sometime, we've talked on the phone, we've seen what the other one looks like, but we have never met in person. She has a boyfriend, I am single. We like to do roleplay in a private online chat room where we make our own characters and they interact with each other and stuff. It's a lot of fun to me and we've done that for a while, but assuming you read the title I think you'll know where this is going. So it's gotten to the point where one of my characters is veeeeery close to having sex with her character (They are a couple). The argument is that since we're just roleplaying and its our 'characters' having sex not us, then she's technically not cheating on her boyfriend and it's ok. But I still have a niggling little doubt in the back of my head saying that this is wrong.

So can roleplay sex be labeled under real sex or not?

 

[CommonSense1013]

Ask the boyfriend. There we go problem solved

 

[Impluse_101]

Ask the boyfriend. There we go problem solved

This...basicly just this. Anything else is just silly.

 

[Qizx]

I would strongly consider it cheating, as a relationship is not based solely on sex, but also emotions. If she is forming this sexual emotion with you as well, or even being your online Girlfriend I would consider it cheating.
Long story short, it's not "Real Sex" obviously, but it's still very bad in my most humble of opinions.
Here's a quick test I've found that works in a situation like that : If you found out your significant other was doing what you're considering doing, would you be hurt? If the answer is yes, I suggest not doing it.

 

[FalloutJack]

My thoughts on this are not PG-13.

 

[Johnnyallstar]

At first glance I asked myself "when is it not?" Then I read it and sadly it's not the same kind of "roleplay sex" that I was thinking of.

Well, I think about it this way. A few years ago I played Warcraft, and my character was forced into a shotgun wedding by a girl. She was married in the real world, but we were having fun with our characters so everything was great until her character divorced mine and demanded my house, mounts, mats for Sulfaras, Hand of Ragnaros, and half my gold... Where was I again?

Honestly, it's all fun and games until it's not. If you're uncomfortable about crossing a line, then make sure you know exactly where that line is, and make sure you don't cross it.

 

[Trolldor]

I thought you meant roleplay in the bedroom. I was going to suggest use a safe word.

But this?
I don't even...

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

My thoughts on this are not PG-13.

It was, but now it's starting to climb up to 'M'

I thought you meant roleplay in the bedroom. I was going to suggest use a safe word.

But this?
I don't even...

XD I forget that some people on the internet aren't as weird as me. btw, in case you were wondering, they're human characters. Not furries or anything like that.

I'd say tread carefully, never know where this sort of thing could lead, what game is this anyway?

There are games for this sort of thing? Naw, we just use PM instant messaging.

I think you should listen to your gut on this one. If I were in a relationship I would be at least apprehensive if my significant other were having roleplay sex with someone else. In an objective sense it's probably harmless, but from a subjective perspective, I can definitely see how the boyfriend would be hurt to find something like this going on.

This is why I go to you people for help, this is good advice right here. I asked her if her boyfriend is ok with it but I've yet to get a response. If he isn't, I'll discontinue it. It may be the closest thing I've ever had to sex, but it's not worth hurting someone else.

 

[KeyMaster45]

Here's a question you should have the two of you ask yourselves. When you RP your characters do you treat them as extensions of yourself or as simply characters in a story that you control as an omnipresent narrator?

Depending on the answer depends on if the line has been crossed.

 

[EPolleys]

I'd say tread carefully, never know where this sort of thing could lead, what game is this anyway?

 

[Smooth Operator]

RP or not it's cyber sex, in itself pretty harmless but I don't think her boyfriend would approve.

Or as it was mentioned, if it was your girl would you want her to do this with others?

 

[Kpt._Rob]

I think you should listen to your gut on this one. If I were in a relationship I would be at least apprehensive if my significant other were having roleplay sex with someone else. In an objective sense it's probably harmless, but from a subjective perspective, I can definitely see how the boyfriend would be hurt to find something like this going on.

 

[artanis_neravar]

I, for one, would consider it cheating. Can't really put into words why I just feel that way

 

[Kakashi on crack]

Ask the boyfriend. There we go problem solved

this. This, and ask yourself if you'd have a problem with it if your significant other did it.

If you can get a positive answer for both of those, then go wild

 

[Ellen of Kitten]

If it's something you're concerned about, it's something the boyfriend would be concerned about too. If your characters have a romp, "and they spend the night in each others loving embrace" should be all you need to ROLEPLAY the scene. It's not pulitzer prize winning writing by any means, but you get to game on, RP sex on, and not cheat-- because emotional connections can still be cheating.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Follow your gut. If this makes you uneasy, don't do it.

 

[crudus]

If you have to ask, the answer is probably "no". If you have to add your own rationalizations (a reliable source tells me those are lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better), the answer is probably "no".

note: While I did read the OP, I am answering the question in the title which is vastly different than the one asked in the OP.

I, for one, would consider it cheating. Can't really put into words why I just feel that way

It is called an emotional affair.

 

[Biosophilogical]

-snip-

Okay, I'm a bit naive about the whole 'range of sexual emotions and repercusions' thing. You know, what is cause for jealousy, what are the appropriate social cues for sexual interest, yada yada. However, there is something I'd like to know, are there obvious similarities between your character and yourself, and her character and herself? I mean, if they are 'RPG-esque embodiments of your own desires, interests, etc' then even I can tell that the role-playing sex means way more than just fiction. But if you are a shy, introvert, and your character is an obnoxious twat who found love (her character), did a whole bunch of things you'd never consider doing and ultimately isn't 'you' in any sense, and the same applies for hers, then I'd say that th sex is just an extension on the story you two have co-created. But while I'm sure I'm spot on in the first scenario, I'm more than a little unsure about the second situation, so if it is teh second, ask somone more experienced on this thread about it.

EDIT:

I, for one, would consider it cheating. Can't really put into words why I just feel that way

It is called an emotional affair.

I've never really understood this. I mean, if your feelings for your current partner are waning and you've found a new love (without sex) that is replacing your present one (but secretly). Then sure, Bam! Betrayal. But why can't you have a deep emotional attachment to more than one person? It doesn't make sense to me (then again, I've never been in a relationship, so I'm not really sure about the whole motivation behind emotional monogamy).

 

[The_Healer]

Hahahahaha!

I shouldn't be laughing at the sheer concept, but god its funny.

Of course it isn't 'real' sex! Of course its obvious that you two must have some kind of emotional thing going on and that her boyfriend would be worried... but you should on no account tell him.

Otherwise, he'll get all bitchy and (try to) stop her talking to you.

 

[artanis_neravar]

If you have to ask, the answer is probably "no". If you have to add your own rationalizations (a reliable source tells me those are lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better), the answer is probably "no".

note: While I did read the OP, I am answering the question in the title which is vastly different than the one asked in the OP.

I, for one, would consider it cheating. Can't really put into words why I just feel that way

It is called an emotional affair.

Yeah that's where I was originally going with it but I couldn't figure out how to phrase my argument properly, all I really know is that is my Girlfriend (assuming I had one) did this, I would be hurt and seriously consider dumping her