Is there a way to fall OUT of love?

[Judgement101]

Can someone awnser this please. (No experimental brain surgery thank you) I love this girl but I just can't stand my thoughts about her anymore, can someone tell me how to fall OUT of love? (Also, no murder.)

It takes 3 things.

1. Acceptance.
2. Willpower.
3. Realization.

Accept that you do not want to love her anymore. Apply willpower to down the feelings you have about her. Then finally 3, realize why you do not want to feel this way about her. Essentially you need to drive for this to work. That drive being the main reason why you do not want to love her in the first place. What reason is it? As long as it's your reason, focus on that. Focus on how things will be once you get over her.

Wow...this actually worked...THANK YOU.

 

[Bruin]

I hope you realise nothing you say now will possibly help me. You basically verbally attacked me making me not want to take any of your advice.

Firstly, let me start off by saying I don't know. Generally, with me, that means I don't care. I don't really care about somebody starving halfway across the world. Call me an animal, but it's true--I watch those infomercials that say that I'm sleeping in my warm bed and a kid's starving, so I should give it $20.

But we both know that we really don't care and we would rather use that $20 that we'll see the fruits of.

So, with that logical reasoning part out of the way I'll say this: I don't care.

I don't care if you take my advice. If you pout and stamp your feet and tell me I'm a big meanie that "verbally attacked" you, it's not going to make me feel any more or less compassion for you. If it did, it's probably be the latter of those two, but in any case, if you don't want to listen to somebody who has experience in the area and you'd rather go on living out some fantastical lie, go ahead.

I don't care.

You are judging me and you literally have no idea who I am. What worked for you doesn't work for everyone. You aren't an all knowing being who can solve everything with no effort.

Since when is there a rule that says I can't judge people?

You're trying to get a problem solved. It's difficult to do that without knowledge of the person, especially in this case. So, because I don't really care enough about this problem, or you, I'm not going to be pressing you for your life story and all of your little complaints and tales. I'm taking the lazy guy's way out and working with what I see.

What I see is a problem millions of kids face when they hit puberty.

Now, unless the stars aligned and you're the one special snowflake that is insane, has one person who is your "soul mate" and without her you'll get unhinged and explode and happens to fit the stereotype of millions of other kids, I'm not buying your story.

And I'm going to judge you.

And tell you it's hormonal teenage shit.

 

[Horben]

You're working awfully hard at convincing us how sincere your emotions are.

Are you really looking for advice on breaking the feelings- or commiseration? Or even positive reinforcement, for us to tell you to actually go Scott Pilgrim on this scenario?

 

[Judgement101]

I hope you realise nothing you say now will possibly help me. You basically verbally attacked me making me not want to take any of your advice.

Firstly, let me start off by saying I don't know. Generally, with me, that means I don't care. I don't really care about somebody starving halfway across the world. Call me an animal, but it's true--I watch those infomercials that say that I'm sleeping in my warm bed and a kid's starving, so I should give it $20.

But we both know that we really don't care and we would rather use that $20 that we'll see the fruits of.

So, with that logical reasoning part out of the way I'll say this: I don't care.

I don't care if you take my advice. If you pout and stamp your feet and tell me I'm a big meanie that "verbally attacked" you, it's not going to make me feel any more or less compassion for you. If it did, it's probably be the latter of those two, but in any case, if you don't want to listen to somebody who has experience in the area and you'd rather go on living out some fantastical lie, go ahead.

I don't care.

You are judging me and you literally have no idea who I am. What worked for you doesn't work for everyone. You aren't an all knowing being who can solve everything with no effort.

Since when is there a rule that says I can't judge people?

You're trying to get a problem solved. It's difficult to do that without knowledge of the person, especially in this case. So, because I don't really care enough about this problem, or you, I'm not going to be pressing you for your life story and all of your little complaints and tales. I'm taking the lazy guy's way out and working with what I see.

What I see is a problem millions of kids face when they hit puberty.

Now, unless the stars aligned and you're the one special snowflake that is insane, has one person who is your "soul mate" and without her you'll get unhinged and explode and happens to fit the stereotype of millions of other kids, I'm not buying your story.

And I'm going to judge you.

And tell you it's hormonal teenage shit.

Well based on your posts I can easily judge you as well.
You clearly have no patiences or acceptence for outside ideas. You think that force can solve almost everything and that your "shield of logic" will make people bend to see your ideas. If you are just going to post the same replay over and over again its the internet equivilant to punching a brick wall. It doesn't help you or the other person. Don't judge people that you don't actually know.

 

[Judgement101]

Can someone awnser this please. (No experimental brain surgery thank you) I love this girl but I just can't stand my thoughts about her anymore, can someone tell me how to fall OUT of love? (Also, no murder.)

It takes 3 things.

1. Acceptance.
2. Willpower.
3. Realization.

Accept that you do not want to love her anymore. Apply willpower to down the feelings you have about her. Then finally 3, realize why you do not want to feel this way about her. Essentially you need to drive for this to work. That drive being the main reason why you do not want to love her in the first place. What reason is it? As long as it's your reason, focus on that. Focus on how things will be once you get over her.

Wow...this actually worked...THANK YOU.

no, it never doeas work, my list is better.

This is why I love the esapist. Everyone is either really nice or really hilarious. Thanks you, everyone (except that guy who keeps yelling at me about his sterotypical views of 16 year olds.)

 

[Jinjiro]

*snippery snip*

I want to fall out of love because I......don't really know....

Be brutally honest with yourself, it's for your own good

Brutally honest works I guess: 1. I would hate myself if she would ever be unhappy. 2. I would feel terrible if anything bad ever happens to her. 3. I think I would go insane if I continue like this.

Ok then, let's just review this with our priorities in the right place.

1. I would hate myself if she would ever be unhappy. - You can't live your own happiness through someone else's. Remember that a relationship works from two sides, not from one - if she's not happy and still in the relationship it's most likely equally your fault and hers. She can make her own decisions about you, which is why you need to find out SOON if she feels the same way or not. Once you know that, you might feel differently.

2. I would feel terrible if anything bad ever happens to her. - Again dude, this shows you care for her but this probably applies to a lot of other people you know too, right? Family, friends... and you don't want to stop thinking about all of them, do you? This is just basic human empathy, and unlike some would suggest, this speaks to me that you definitely don't need a shrink

3. I think I would go insane if I continue like this. - We have ALL been there, buddy. Really. I bet 90% of the people in this post once had a girl/boy they couldn't stop thinking about. This is entirely natural. Really. You'll just have to take my word on that and re-read this in 5 years when you're doting on someone you met in college


And for the people saying "Go see a psychiatrist" to the guy, that is a radical solution. If you all took "Vitamin P" and had cognitive behavioural therapy when you were in this guy's situation, then fair play... but I doubt it.

 

[Judgement101]

*snippery snip*

I want to fall out of love because I......don't really know....

Be brutally honest with yourself, it's for your own good

Brutally honest works I guess: 1. I would hate myself if she would ever be unhappy. 2. I would feel terrible if anything bad ever happens to her. 3. I think I would go insane if I continue like this.

Ok then, let's just review this with our priorities in the right place.

1. I would hate myself if she would ever be unhappy. - You can't live your own happiness through someone else's. Remember that a relationship works from two sides, not from one - if she's not happy and still in the relationship it's most likely equally your fault and hers. She can make her own decisions about you, which is why you need to find out SOON if she feels the same way or not. Once you know that, you might feel differently.

2. I would feel terrible if anything bad ever happens to her. - Again dude, this shows you care for her but this probably applies to a lot of other people you know too, right? Family, friends... and you don't want to stop thinking about all of them, do you? This is just basic human empathy, and unlike some would suggest, this speaks to me that you definitely don't need a shrink

3. I think I would go insane if I continue like this. - We have ALL been there, buddy. Really. I bet 90% of the people in this post once had a girl/boy they couldn't stop thinking about. This is entirely natural. Really. You'll just have to take my word on that and re-read this in 5 years when you're doting on someone you met in college


And for the people saying "Go see a psychiatrist" to the guy, that is a radical solution. If you all took "Vitamin P" and had cognitive behavioural therapy when you were in this guy's situation, then fair play... but I doubt it.

With this and the help of everyone else, I think I've managed to fall out of love. Thanks. (P.S. I like your title very witty and funny)

 

[Jinjiro]

*snippery snip*

I want to fall out of love because I......don't really know....

With this and the help of everyone else, I think I've managed to fall out of love. Thanks. (P.S. I like your title very witty and funny)

Why thank you good sir, and now it is just gone 6.30am here in good old England, I shall retire for the night. Best wishes!

 

[Bruin]

I hope you realise nothing you say now will possibly help me. You basically verbally attacked me making me not want to take any of your advice.

Firstly, let me start off by saying I don't know. Generally, with me, that means I don't care. I don't really care about somebody starving halfway across the world. Call me an animal, but it's true--I watch those infomercials that say that I'm sleeping in my warm bed and a kid's starving, so I should give it $20.

But we both know that we really don't care and we would rather use that $20 that we'll see the fruits of.

So, with that logical reasoning part out of the way I'll say this: I don't care.

I don't care if you take my advice. If you pout and stamp your feet and tell me I'm a big meanie that "verbally attacked" you, it's not going to make me feel any more or less compassion for you. If it did, it's probably be the latter of those two, but in any case, if you don't want to listen to somebody who has experience in the area and you'd rather go on living out some fantastical lie, go ahead.

I don't care.

You are judging me and you literally have no idea who I am. What worked for you doesn't work for everyone. You aren't an all knowing being who can solve everything with no effort.

Since when is there a rule that says I can't judge people?

You're trying to get a problem solved. It's difficult to do that without knowledge of the person, especially in this case. So, because I don't really care enough about this problem, or you, I'm not going to be pressing you for your life story and all of your little complaints and tales. I'm taking the lazy guy's way out and working with what I see.

What I see is a problem millions of kids face when they hit puberty.

Now, unless the stars aligned and you're the one special snowflake that is insane, has one person who is your "soul mate" and without her you'll get unhinged and explode and happens to fit the stereotype of millions of other kids, I'm not buying your story.

And I'm going to judge you.

And tell you it's hormonal teenage shit.

Well based on your posts I can easily judge you as well.
You clearly have no patiences or acceptence for outside ideas. You think that force can solve almost everything and that your "shield of logic" will make people bend to see your ideas. If you are just going to post the same replay over and over again its the internet equivilant to punching a brick wall. It doesn't help you or the other person. Don't judge people that you don't actually know.

You can judge me, yes. I don't think it's very accurate, considering I'm not the one who gave an emotional break-down of words that describe myself.

I have patience--I've been talking to you for this long. And I do have acceptance. But what you're saying doesn't make sense. The odds of probability, rational thought and logic pretty much disagree that you are entirely unique in this situation of yours.

On the force thing: I think that's my avatar talking.

Logic is something that governs everyone. If everybody can see the same shade of black as I can, I figure I can tell them about the other colors a little more easily. If you understand what I'm saying. Logic is the common ground. Relate everything back to logic and you get what makes the most sense, what's the best decision and the like.

If I am replaying it, it's because you're the one who's not listening to what anybody has to tell you.

You want to believe you're a cynical, misanthropic kid whose infatuation scenario is not only seen dozens of times on internet forums but commonplace in the real world. You're the one not accepting any words to the contrary--this entire argument of yours proving that.

 

[Jaeriko]

EDIT:

Whatever, problem solved.

 

[Judgement101]

I hope you realise nothing you say now will possibly help me. You basically verbally attacked me making me not want to take any of your advice.

Firstly, let me start off by saying I don't know. Generally, with me, that means I don't care. I don't really care about somebody starving halfway across the world. Call me an animal, but it's true--I watch those infomercials that say that I'm sleeping in my warm bed and a kid's starving, so I should give it $20.

But we both know that we really don't care and we would rather use that $20 that we'll see the fruits of.

So, with that logical reasoning part out of the way I'll say this: I don't care.

I don't care if you take my advice. If you pout and stamp your feet and tell me I'm a big meanie that "verbally attacked" you, it's not going to make me feel any more or less compassion for you. If it did, it's probably be the latter of those two, but in any case, if you don't want to listen to somebody who has experience in the area and you'd rather go on living out some fantastical lie, go ahead.

I don't care.

You are judging me and you literally have no idea who I am. What worked for you doesn't work for everyone. You aren't an all knowing being who can solve everything with no effort.

Since when is there a rule that says I can't judge people?

You're trying to get a problem solved. It's difficult to do that without knowledge of the person, especially in this case. So, because I don't really care enough about this problem, or you, I'm not going to be pressing you for your life story and all of your little complaints and tales. I'm taking the lazy guy's way out and working with what I see.

What I see is a problem millions of kids face when they hit puberty.

Now, unless the stars aligned and you're the one special snowflake that is insane, has one person who is your "soul mate" and without her you'll get unhinged and explode and happens to fit the stereotype of millions of other kids, I'm not buying your story.

And I'm going to judge you.

And tell you it's hormonal teenage shit.

Well based on your posts I can easily judge you as well.
You clearly have no patiences or acceptence for outside ideas. You think that force can solve almost everything and that your "shield of logic" will make people bend to see your ideas. If you are just going to post the same replay over and over again its the internet equivilant to punching a brick wall. It doesn't help you or the other person. Don't judge people that you don't actually know.

You can judge me, yes. I don't think it's very accurate, considering I'm not the one who gave an emotional break-down of words that describe myself.

I have patience--I've been talking to you for this long. And I do have acceptance. But what you're saying doesn't make sense. The odds of probability, rational thought and logic pretty much disagree that you are entirely unique in this situation of yours.

On the force thing: I think that's my avatar talking.

Logic is something that governs everyone. If everybody can see the same shade of black as I can, I figure I can tell them about the other colors a little more easily. If you understand what I'm saying. Logic is the common ground. Relate everything back to logic and you get what makes the most sense, what's the best decision and the like.

If I am replaying it, it's because you're the one who's not listening to what anybody has to tell you.

You want to believe you're a cynical, misanthropic kid whose infatuation scenario is not only seen dozens of times on internet forums but commonplace in the real world. You're the one not accepting any words to the contrary--this entire argument of yours proving that.

Then why don't we stop this pointless argument?

 

[smashmaniac64]

Can someone awnser this please. (No experimental brain surgery thank you) I love this girl but I just can't stand my thoughts about her anymore, can someone tell me how to fall OUT of love? (Also, no murder.)

I'm in the same boat. I'm just learning to live with it. The worst part is that she is also my closest friend and I cannot go more than three days without talking to her.

yep it isnt the best position to be in T_T

 

[Bruin]

Then why don't we stop this pointless argument?

Because that decision has been entirely yours throughout the duration of all of this. If you really wanted advice or some way to actually help you, you would have taken it by now if that's really what the goal of all of this was for.

In any case, it's 1:40 AM here and I have to be up tomorrow.

 

[mythicdawn12]

Do I really seem angry in my posts?

That wasn't you angry that was me being- Never mind, I give up.

 

[SovietSecrets]

Is it really that bad that you just cant ask her out? I mean if she says no, doesn't that help you out a bit?

There is a really long story that I didn't have time to tell.

In that case, I suggest embarrassing yourself (alcohol can help here) so badly in front of her that it just makes it awkward to talk to her.

 

[iLikeHippos]

Can someone awnser this please. (No experimental brain surgery thank you) I love this girl but I just can't stand my thoughts about her anymore, can someone tell me how to fall OUT of love? (Also, no murder.)

Easy. Get a lot of friends you know to be childish around you and the girl and you say "I love you".

The friends will laugh, the girl will be shocked and you'll... Probably be flustered.
When she says "No" and the overbearing humility of your friends laughing at you, you'll think back and realize you can NEVER fall in love again.

Problem solved ^.^

 

[I Fiend I]

Can someone awnser this please. (No experimental brain surgery thank you) I love this girl but I just can't stand my thoughts about her anymore, can someone tell me how to fall OUT of love? (Also, no murder.)

concentrate on any little things she does that you might not like. Its hard if you just fell in love with the person because you're basically worshipping everything she does. But find something and concentrate it, plant it like a seed and wait for it to build until she pisses you off/you dont care for her/ you hate her.

another way is to give it time. After a long while your feelings will change

 

[Canid117]

About 50% of marriages in the united states end with the participants falling out of love so yes.