Is there something wrong with me?

[Elvis Starburst]

I hate hearing stories of depression and tales of horrific and dark pasts that others have suffered. And yet, at odd and sporadic times (Months between) I'll come up and find a depressing forum topic here, and read almost all of it. It hurts, my heart aches, and it is, obviously, very depressing. And after doing it again today, I asked myself... Why do I put myself through this? Why do I do this to myself? Is it some sort of punishment I'm not aware of? Am I some sort of masochist?

Escapist Forum, do you have any idea what would provoke someone like me to go through this sort of thing?

Note: I had a great home life. My school life and getting along with others sucked, but that was about it. I never self harmed, and I am a very positive person nowadays. Very much so.

 

[Rylot]

snip for attention

Nah, that's pretty normal. While I certainly don't know you personally for me reading sad stories is very similar to reading or watching scary things. I sometimes have a very hard time dealing with emotions and experiencing media that brings these emotions up helps us (at least subconsciously) deal with our own emotions. Do you feel better after having read these threads? It may be that reading these things releases pent up emotions that you've been bottling up and feeling sad while reading these things helps you feel better. Again I don't know you so grain of salt and all that. Hope that gives you something to think about. Cheers.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

snip for attention

Nah, that's pretty normal. While I certainly don't know you personally for me reading sad stories is very similar to reading or watching scary things. I sometimes have a very hard time dealing with emotions and experiencing media that brings these emotions up helps us (at least subconsciously) deal with our own emotions. Do you feel better after having read these threads? It may be that reading these things releases pent up emotions that you've been bottling up and feeling sad while reading these things helps you feel better. Again I don't know you so grain of salt and all that. Hope that gives you something to think about. Cheers.

Quite the contrary. The stuff I read tends to haunt me for a day or two. Sometimes it comes back in my mind well beyond the time I read it. There is no positive benefit to doing this, so, that's why I feel kinda messed up for doing it in the first place

 

[EeveeElectro]

There's nothing wrong with you. What you feel is empathy which is a noble trait to have because few people have that recently.

It's hard to avoid, but we've all got some morbid curiosity about things that anger/sadden or scare us. I do the same.

I suppose in a way it keeps us grounded. Reading other people's horrific tales lets us know how lucky we have it in the long run. Perhaps that is why you continue to read them? You're subconsciously reminding yourself to count your blessings.

Remember that you can't do anything to stop it so don't get so worked up about it because that's futile and is causing you unnecessary emotional pain.
It's great you care though, you're a good person.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

There's nothing wrong with you. What you feel is empathy which is a noble trait to have because few people have that recently.

It's hard to avoid, but we've all got some morbid curiosity about things that anger/sadden or scare us. I do the same.

I suppose in a way it keeps us grounded. Reading other people's horrific tales lets us know how lucky we have it in the long run. Perhaps that is why you continue to read them? You're subconsciously reminding yourself to count your blessings.

Remember that you can't do anything to stop it so don't get so worked up about it because that's futile and is causing you unnecessary emotional pain.
It's great you care though, you're a good person.

Haha, thanks man, I appreciate it. And yes, I have been told I care very much about people and that sort of thing... I guess this probably is something deep down in my subconscious that I can't look into on my own to understand. What you said makes the most sense. Thanks again, I appreciate the feedback you gave

 

[Chrozi]

I'd be much more concerned if you felt you were entertained by depressing posts and felt nothing afterwards. Like mentioned above you just have strong empathy for the people you read about. This is a good trait. Maybe you are a little more sensitive then other people around you, but this is ok, too. Forcing yourself to read a depressing post may be your way of preparing yourself on how you will feel if something similar were to happen to you. When you feel the pain set in, just remind yourself it IS only temporary. Walk away and do something that makes you happy, live in the now and don't let things you can't control get in the way of your joy!

 

[Elvis Starburst]

I'd be much more concerned if you felt you were entertained by depressing posts and felt nothing afterwards. Like mentioned above you just have strong empathy for the people you read about. This is a good trait. Maybe you are a little more sensitive then other people around you, but this is ok, too. Forcing yourself to read a depressing post may be your way of preparing yourself on how you will feel if something similar were to happen to you. When you feel the pain set in, just remind yourself it IS only temporary. Walk away and do something that makes you happy, live in the now and don't let things you can't control get in the way of your joy!

Sounds about right~ It is hard to let it go sometimes though. Some stuff can stick with someone like me for a little while. And maybe you're right about it being mental prep. Maybe it's to strengthen my heart a bit if I ever come across this kind of thing in real life, be it me or someone else. I do hope nothing horrible comes my way though. That'd be kinda shitty XD Thanks for the post~