Pardon then pun on the topic title.
To understand what I am asking here, you need to listen (read) my story, well part of it to be specific, a segment composed of my last 1½ years of life.
1½ years ago I started to notice pain on my right hand after using it for a while in complicated tasks or after long period of times, I went to a doctor since I needed my hand to do my school work, papers, exams and homework - the usual stuff and for my hobbies: Drawing, painting art in general and music; piano, percussion - mallets primarily, I even got letter of recommendation to study mallets if I ever felt like studying them in my local Conservatorium. Doctor told me to take it easy, avoid stress on it - and so I did, I even quited gaming for 3 months.
I bet you can guess my hand didn't get better since here I am asking help, but anyway, I will continue the story for a bit more.
After few months during the winter of 2009-2010 my hand took turn to worse, it started to have constant pain on it, primarily on my fingers and fist, 5th and middle finger started to cramp together. I of course sought medical attention once more. After a doctor and another and one really bad attempt to use medication to control the symptoms, the drug was successful at controlling the pain, but the side-effects were way too dramatic.
Next summer, I was still in pain due to my hand, this summer was to be my last summer as a percussionist, my ability to draw and write by hand were drastically worse compared to what I used to be - my ability and skills to draw were still there my hand just didn't function as I commanded it to, hence why this summer was to be my last as a percussionist. I had earlier that year started to use mini-laptop to do my schoolwork on.
I was happy I had chosen myself a secondary instrument earlier - a French horn.
After summer my pain started to grow much more sewer, the cramps became more wide-spread and much worse. I forced myself to draw regardless of the pain and discomfort, due to doctors advice to keep my hand active and partly because of my desire - addiction to work with art, to create visual objects with aesthetic value. My only real enjoyment that I still had was games, gaming - I loved it, I had played games since I was 4.
I started to have something called "Pain seizures"* (*Loosely translated from Finnish word "Kipukohtaus"), basically I had a pain attack which caused my hand to cramp extremely badly, 5th 4th and middle finger cramped so that they just pointed straight forwards. The pain was extreme, I could only describe it as pure, extreme, absolutely pure refined pain, it crippled me, I couldn't attend school if I had one, the whole event starting from its pre-symptoms to its "After shock" lasted up to 3 days.
Before holidays I got myself in to specialist pain treatment clinic, where I got myself a medication, with some side-effects but they keep the pain bearable.
holidays passed, day by day.
While ago the cramps reached their new extreme, my shoulder started to pull down, my whole right torso started to collapse on itself, my hand chest muscles started to pull my hand to front of my torso, causing my shoulder blade to stick out of my back, causing so called "Angels wind" on my back. Medication is not enough anymore to keep the pain in control and doctor doesn't want to increase the amount of medications I take, since the treatment is long term - up to my whole life. Now the pain and dysfunction of my hand have caused me to give up on gaming. I am/was extremely successful healer in quite good WoW guild, but my hand just couldn't keep with the amount of healing I should be able to sustain to keep the raid alive, I decided to call myself off from raiding due to medical reasons and found myself a replacement player. I couldn't play FPS games my hand just isn't fast enough. Minecraft, barely my hand just doesn't like the amount of clicking and button pushing required to do things.
I forgot to add that; Doctors are still clueless of what this is, it is a case of "It isn't this, but it ain't compeletely that either." I am in waiting line to meet 2 Finland's top specialist on this type of neurological conditions.
So what my question is?
What would I do? My hand is taking everything I enjoy away from me, Everyday is a pain, boredom is extreme. I have lost almost everything I enjoy. Pains keeps getting worse, along with the cramps, depression is getting grip on me. TV offers nothing to me, I read literature, but don't enjoy it due to me having hard time reading - I have always had.
- So, what should I do?
Excuse the language and grammar, I am not native to English.
To understand what I am asking here, you need to listen (read) my story, well part of it to be specific, a segment composed of my last 1½ years of life.
1½ years ago I started to notice pain on my right hand after using it for a while in complicated tasks or after long period of times, I went to a doctor since I needed my hand to do my school work, papers, exams and homework - the usual stuff and for my hobbies: Drawing, painting art in general and music; piano, percussion - mallets primarily, I even got letter of recommendation to study mallets if I ever felt like studying them in my local Conservatorium. Doctor told me to take it easy, avoid stress on it - and so I did, I even quited gaming for 3 months.
I bet you can guess my hand didn't get better since here I am asking help, but anyway, I will continue the story for a bit more.
After few months during the winter of 2009-2010 my hand took turn to worse, it started to have constant pain on it, primarily on my fingers and fist, 5th and middle finger started to cramp together. I of course sought medical attention once more. After a doctor and another and one really bad attempt to use medication to control the symptoms, the drug was successful at controlling the pain, but the side-effects were way too dramatic.
Next summer, I was still in pain due to my hand, this summer was to be my last summer as a percussionist, my ability to draw and write by hand were drastically worse compared to what I used to be - my ability and skills to draw were still there my hand just didn't function as I commanded it to, hence why this summer was to be my last as a percussionist. I had earlier that year started to use mini-laptop to do my schoolwork on.
I was happy I had chosen myself a secondary instrument earlier - a French horn.
After summer my pain started to grow much more sewer, the cramps became more wide-spread and much worse. I forced myself to draw regardless of the pain and discomfort, due to doctors advice to keep my hand active and partly because of my desire - addiction to work with art, to create visual objects with aesthetic value. My only real enjoyment that I still had was games, gaming - I loved it, I had played games since I was 4.
I started to have something called "Pain seizures"* (*Loosely translated from Finnish word "Kipukohtaus"), basically I had a pain attack which caused my hand to cramp extremely badly, 5th 4th and middle finger cramped so that they just pointed straight forwards. The pain was extreme, I could only describe it as pure, extreme, absolutely pure refined pain, it crippled me, I couldn't attend school if I had one, the whole event starting from its pre-symptoms to its "After shock" lasted up to 3 days.
Before holidays I got myself in to specialist pain treatment clinic, where I got myself a medication, with some side-effects but they keep the pain bearable.
holidays passed, day by day.
While ago the cramps reached their new extreme, my shoulder started to pull down, my whole right torso started to collapse on itself, my hand chest muscles started to pull my hand to front of my torso, causing my shoulder blade to stick out of my back, causing so called "Angels wind" on my back. Medication is not enough anymore to keep the pain in control and doctor doesn't want to increase the amount of medications I take, since the treatment is long term - up to my whole life. Now the pain and dysfunction of my hand have caused me to give up on gaming. I am/was extremely successful healer in quite good WoW guild, but my hand just couldn't keep with the amount of healing I should be able to sustain to keep the raid alive, I decided to call myself off from raiding due to medical reasons and found myself a replacement player. I couldn't play FPS games my hand just isn't fast enough. Minecraft, barely my hand just doesn't like the amount of clicking and button pushing required to do things.
I forgot to add that; Doctors are still clueless of what this is, it is a case of "It isn't this, but it ain't compeletely that either." I am in waiting line to meet 2 Finland's top specialist on this type of neurological conditions.
So what my question is?
What would I do? My hand is taking everything I enjoy away from me, Everyday is a pain, boredom is extreme. I have lost almost everything I enjoy. Pains keeps getting worse, along with the cramps, depression is getting grip on me. TV offers nothing to me, I read literature, but don't enjoy it due to me having hard time reading - I have always had.
- So, what should I do?
Excuse the language and grammar, I am not native to English.
