It Makes Sense In Context

[Shadowstar38]

I was in a chat room with a friend, and the nature of the conversation eventually made him respond with one of the weirdest lines I've had to read all week

I don't want Jesus anywhere near my testicles.

I actually had to go back through and figure out why the hell it would be typed.

So, everyone tell me the weirdest things you're ever heard or read out of context.

Begin!

Captcha: "stranger danger" o_o

 

[DoPo]

...and after you burn it, you shave the dog.

Presumably the burned thing and the dog were completely different. I still have no fucking idea what this was about. I overheard a couple of people talking as they walked past me.

 

[DugMachine]

...I ougtha rain downs some tittysprinkles next time.

I heard that at a Starbucks once. wut

 

[C F]

"You're saying that we should send Carrot away to be a duck among humans because Bjorn Stronginthearm is my uncle?"
-Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

"<color=red>yes poser it should be my torso getting pulverized by that avalanche of overpaid beefcakes and you know it"
-Dave Strider, Homestuck
As a matter of fact, this is an actual twitter feed [http://twitter.com/dave_ebubbles] made from a mock fictional satire of Tumblr that is in reality designed to randomly pull any given line said by Dave Strider in Homestuck thus far and present it without context. It does its stupid job beautifully.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

"I think you're giving me too much credit. I have no idea what a Frenchman looks like."

"Do you see that mustache?"
"Do you see those haircurlers? What kind of guy wears hair curlers?"

"We could make posicle stick space clothes! And be fashion designers! You could be the catty one, or maybe me, or both of us. I really don't know anything about fashion designers."

All of the above were from recent conversations with my best friend.

"I'd like a footlong blackforest ham. The truck is about to explode. I'd like cheddar."

Edit-"you know you have to tell them you have swords in the trunk if they pull you over."