Its a racist day in my neighborhood.

[Ilikemilkshake]

You did the right thing, reacting with anger or violence wouldnt solve anything, and it certainly wouldnt change his way of thinking.. next time you see him though you should maybe mention that he made you feel uncomfortable, and you should explain what you've written here.. if he doesnt change his tune, he's a dick and isnt worth the time of day, but at least you'll know you gave him a chance.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Truthfully, I'd say you did the right thing. To do just about anything else would've just made YOU look bad and could've possibly cost you your job and there is no way he is worth that. Best just to let him shoot his mouth off and look like an jerk than to lower yourself to his level by doing the same thing or worse.

 

[Larmo]

I'm a home aid worker who works for quite a few people who grew up in the 30s/40s and there was one gentleman who while rather nice and not at all bad to work for, was very much a product of his generation. He would spew crap like that whenever someone would cut us off while i drove him places, and most of the time the other person wasn't even black, he even mentioned women drivers a few times, while me a woman drove for him, he doesn't mention Asian drivers, but that's probably because his wife is from japan.

After a while I asked him if he could try not so say thing like that around me, hes entitled to his own opinions, but whenever he says things like that it just drags down my opinion of his intelligence. Then again maybe I'm willing to tolerate language like that because I'm not black myself and it doesn't affect me personally.

Sorry if this was a bit of a rant hope this was helpful.

 

[michiehoward]

The funny thing is, I can speak and ask the "Gab-Blab Club" (group of the nosiest tenants, ignorant jerks) to not slings racist and religious intolerant words and phrases at eachother. That disrespecting my immigrant tenants is not tolerated. But when it came to something that wholly effected me, I was speechless, and it went against my nature.

I think I am more upset at myself.

 

[Zen Toombs]

This person is my tenant and I am at work, it took every ounce of self will I have to walk away, and not fucking explode and at the VERY LEAST start screaming, at worst fucking punch this man in the face.

But now 10 hours later what is bothering me is that I just walked away and let him carry on. I was choking on rage and stomach bile was curdling up in to my mouth. I couldn't even think of a sensible non-violent or non-insulting thing to say.

What should I have done?

You did everything you should have. If I was in your position, I don't know that I could restrain myself from attacking that person.

There is nothing you can say to that type of person to change their mind about other races, no matter how kindly or eloquently or violently you put it.

 

[Hashime]

Well, at least you're not form Georgetown. I would like to give a story about how that community is no longer racist, but out of my (former) school of 1600 there were maybe 20 non white students. There are also a lot of hicks there.

 

[ckam]

Good, don't try to fight against something stupid. Save it for the opponents that are truly worthy for a fight.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

You know what's the funny thing and a new way to look at it?


That guy who was a racist also was really cool to you, bringing you coffee and talking about something as personal as a situation of living with a foster family. (basically opening his heart to you more than most people do)


I want to ask you this; how much of your anger was at the fact that you realized racists can be nice people too? I think that was what hurt you more, rather than the slurs themselves.


That pain you felt due to this realization, my friend, is the product of our society that demonizes racists and is completely black and white about this issue. (pun not intended)


Now, I'm not defending racism or anything like that, since I don't really understand it out of not being from "the Americas" and viewing the human race as a whole but you shouldn't be as sensitive to it as you seem to be. Oh and yes, there's people like me who don't even really comprehend racism in the world, that should make you happy! That is due to the fact than in Greece if you're born there and speak the language you're Greek, no matter what you look like outwards.

The funny thing is that in place of it there's fierce nationalism and someone being referred to as a "non-Greek" is an insult as severe as your N word, if not more so. People will always find a way to divide themselves, it's in our best interests to see beyond that and just make nice with people who are indeed nice, biases and prejudices aside.

 

[Signa]

Sounds like you need to ask yourself what bothered you most about his use of the word. That woman he was talking about sounded like a piece of shit and you have no business associating yourself with her on basis of genetics and skin color. You're better than her, and you should not get angry at others who look down on her for treating people like shit around her.

 

[chadachada123]

To be fair, OP, there's a chance that your co-worker wasn't referring to all black people when he said "******," and was only referring to "theiving, deceptive, assholeish black people," or something along those lines.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but "not all black people are niggers, and not all niggers are black." A touchy subject, sure, but not, from what I can see, *necessarily* a reason to assume that the guy is racist. I'd call someone that stole from me a *whatever the worst ethnic/whatever slur I could think of for them* regardless of if they're white or black or female or whatever.

Of course, perhaps you're leaving out some more indication of actual racism, and you're most likely right that he's a racist prick. I would think your best course of action would be to straight-up say that you were 1/4 black and see his reaction, and possibly show him to be a giant prick in front of everyone.

Finally, I think it incredibly immature to get mad at someone for asking if your brother was adopted if he looks really different from *his goddamn brother and father.* That's just normal curiosity based on the fact that we've understood genetics pretty well for 200 years and outliers, along with the effects of mixing dark/light skin genes, are exceedingly rare.

 

[Psychedelic Spartan]

I really respect you for being able to just walk away and be the bigger man, because let me tell you, I'm Jewish and I have had very similar experiences.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Sounds like you need to ask yourself what bothered you most about his use of the word. That woman he was talking about sounded like a piece of shit and you have no business associating yourself with her on basis of genetics and skin color. You're better than her, and you should not get angry at others who look down on her for treating people like shit around her.

I think the fact that he would even use the words colored him a racist in his mind so whether or not they were accurate never even entered his mind as a consideration. In his view nobody, no matter whatever they may do or be, can be referred to appropriately by the N word as a slur. It's a fact-disregarding term that is instantly inappropriate by virtue of it's history.


That's how modern society is as a whole here in this continent.

 

[Lord_Nether]

I feel your pain. im also mixed and being raised in the deep south i used to get picked on a lot too. Doesn't happen anymore though. That was the best thing you could've done. If you blew up or even just told him something, he sounds like the type of guy who'd resent you for it. You should find an outlet for all that pent up rage I know you have.

 

[Signa]

Sounds like you need to ask yourself what bothered you most about his use of the word. That woman he was talking about sounded like a piece of shit and you have no business associating yourself with her on basis of genetics and skin color. You're better than her, and you should not get angry at others who look down on her for treating people like shit around her.

I think the fact that he would even use the words colored him a racist in his mind so whether or not they were accurate never even entered his mind as a consideration. In his view nobody, no matter whatever they may do or be, can be referred to appropriately by the N word as a slur. It's a fact-disregarding term that is instantly inappropriate by virtue of it's history.


That's how modern society is as a whole here in this continent.

Which is bullshit IMO. We aren't ever going to leave the dark ages if we can't get past the history of one of our darker moments.

I understand the OP's aversion to the word. If anyone belongs being bothered by that word, it's him. Though, if you take a step back and look at the situation objectively, the offender wasn't saying to offend him, nor did he actually care about the OP's descent to actually talk to him honestly. Fact is, a racist will dehumanize anyone whomever doesn't fit his perfect ideal of what a human is. If the offender didn't consider the OP a ******, then it's not really an issue of being black, but acting poorly.

EDIT: I should add that Chris Rock has nailed this issue on the head. Us white folks don't think you're a ****** when you are black. Niggers are thieves, drug addicts, thugs and murderers. As far as I'm concerned, the only unfortunate thing about the N-word is that there isn't anything equally offensive to call our white trash. That means the only thing to do is stop being offended by it, because that inequality will NEVER be righted while we are scared of a word.

 

[Benny Blanco]

***EDIT*** I originally had what city I live in but have edited it out on the small chance some idiot on my property recognizes this.

So I live in one of the largest cities in the province of Ontario. We are nothing if not ethnic and racially diverse, whether Canadian born or new Canadians. I myself am a product of a bi-racial couple, my father White, my mother being Mulatto. (one black parent on white parent) Thus making my siblings and I Quadroons. Yes people still use these terms, and no not negatively.

I work as a Building/Property manager for a rental property. The incident starts out innocently enough, while having my break, I was speaking to a tenant, and another tenant approaches, this second tenant whom I thought a very decent person and whom always for over a month brought me a coffee in the morning. Anyway, due to what followed I can't even remember how whatever topic we were on got to race, but it did, and he piped up with his former social worker was a black woman and was a ******. And as just an after thought she was a thieving ****** who some how miraculously stole from his welfare cheque. And then it was ****** ***** with a ****** attitude.
I thought I was going to explode on the spot.

Now as I mentioned as I am a the child of a bi-racial couple, racism is not new to me. I spent a large chunk of my childhood beating the shit of of schoolyard bullies who thought it was a good idea to pick on my little brother. (the only one of us 5 children who got a fraction of my mother's skin color) And not just school age children, but school teachers, pediatricians, librarians, the public in general who would ask my little 7 year brother if he was adopted. As if the adult mind could not fathom that a white man would marry and procreate with a black woman. This was the mid 80's through the 90's. God I'm still bitter and angry for every time my brother would get upset.

So anyway back to my present situation.

This person is my tenant and I am at work, it took every ounce of self will I have to walk away, and not fucking explode and at the VERY LEAST start screaming, at worst fucking punch this man in the face.

But now 10 hours later what is bothering me is that I just walked away and let him carry on. I was choking on rage and stomach bile was curdling up in to my mouth. I couldn't even think of a sensible non-violent or non-insulting thing to say.

What should I have done?

Not wanting to be a dick, but if you don't want people to know which city, you might wanna take it off your profile too...

You were completely in the right. It took a lot of control to do what you did and a lot of discipline. Just think- you totally disprove that man's preconceptions about your racial background by your behaviour and professionalism. That you have proven him wrong is victory enough.

He's a disgusting jerk, but without proof of his racism, all you would have acheived is causing a problem for yourself. Ultimately, he's in your place of work every day. I don't think anyone would blame you if you were a little colder in your treatment of him.

The tricky thing is that it's hard to identify whether it was malicious or stupid- some people say things unguardedly that they wouldn't say if they realised that someone of a particular background was present.

I've heard people make vaguely anti-semitic comments because they don't realise there are Jewish people around them (most Jews in London are not orthodox and therefore form an invisible minority) and I'm part of a vaguely inter-racial relationship: my girlfriend is mixed Iranian/Pakistani, but very light-skinned. Most people place her as Mediterranean, so they don't think about curtailing racist comments about South Asians or Middle Eastern people around her.

Although to be honest, it's not always negative when she is identified as such- a couple of years ago, we were waiting at a bus-stop and I wrapped my arms and coat around her to keep her warm. An obviously drunk woman staggered over and said "Aw, are you in love? It's so sweet because you're white and you're asian!" We were non-plussed, but she seemed friendly enough so fuck it.

Actually the worst attitude we've got has been from South Asian guys. (who, for North Americans surprised by this abandonment of stereotype, get surprisingly cocky when they roll sufficiently deep) My girlfriend and I used to go to a HipHop/Bhangra night called "Bombay Bronx" with a couple of other friends and I once had a guy (about shoulder height on me) try to start shit because I accidentally trod on his sneaker.

Anyway, I digress. In a few years, most of the old fucks who still think racism is a good idea will have died out. You might want to inform the cops but I don't know how they handle that sort of thing up your way.

P.S. I think "Quadroons" is an awesome word. I have no context to use it in, but wow...

Wow, a lot of "Just be peaceful!" guys here.

At the end of the day, if someone treats me in a racist manner im going to let them know what I think of it. Even its just a "Fuck off, go hang yourself".

Since when are people actually following that bullshit "Anger and violence dont solve anything" fad?

Well, Tough Guy, perhaps since it was determined that hate crimes can and do go both ways?

Had the OP given the guy a piece of her mind off the cuff, there's a possibility that the guy could have cried foul and gone over her head to complain to the boss. It's easier to can someone than to put them in prison, so she might have lost her job over something which was his fault.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Sounds like you need to ask yourself what bothered you most about his use of the word. That woman he was talking about sounded like a piece of shit and you have no business associating yourself with her on basis of genetics and skin color. You're better than her, and you should not get angry at others who look down on her for treating people like shit around her.

I think the fact that he would even use the words colored him a racist in his mind so whether or not they were accurate never even entered his mind as a consideration. In his view nobody, no matter whatever they may do or be, can be referred to appropriately by the N word as a slur. It's a fact-disregarding term that is instantly inappropriate by virtue of it's history.


That's how modern society is as a whole here in this continent.

Which is bullshit IMO. We aren't ever going to leave the dark ages if we can't get past the history of one of our darker moments.

I understand the OP's aversion to the word. If anyone belongs being bothered by that word, it's him. Though, if you take a step back and look at the situation objectively, the offender wasn't saying to offend him, nor did he actually care about the OP's descent to actually talk to him honestly. Fact is, a racist will dehumanize anyone whomever doesn't fit his perfect ideal of what a human is. If the offender didn't consider the OP a ******, then it's not really an issue of being black, but acting poorly.

EDIT: I should add that Chris Rock has nailed this issue on the head. Us white folks don't think you're a ****** when you are black. Niggers are thieves, drug addicts, thugs and murderers. As far as I'm concerned, the only unfortunate thing about the N-word is that there isn't anything equally offensive to call our white trash. That means the only thing to do is stop being offended by it, because that inequality will NEVER be righted while we are scared of a word.

Hey, don't argue with me about it lol, I agreed with what you're saying on my first post in this thread, tell the OP!