It's kinda [messed] up the way we ask "How are you?"

[RJ 17]

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

Pffft, it's much more awkward to ask "What are you?" while slowly backing away in confusion.

When I was a cashier, I once had a customer ask me "How are you?" I replied honestly, got a few words in before he cut me off saying "I don't really care, was just being polite."

My favorite thing about this is how any politeness the person was trying to convey was instantly negated by the rudeness of interrupting you to say "I really don't care."

Its almost a form of symbolic interaction. Ever replied to "what is new with you?" with a "fine thanks."?

Actually I do this quite frequently as my older brother is quite obsessed with such pleasantries.

Every time he calls me, his response to my "hello?" is always either "How're you?" or "What's up?" (usually depending on if he's drunk or not). At first, I simply took these as pleasantries to be tossed back and forth, but mostly ignored. as such I would respond with a "How's it going?"

However he would always answer the question and then repeat his own question. With him having asked twice now, I give an answer. So I started answering his question the first time he asked it for a while there. But now I just fuck with him. When he asks "How're you?" I respond with "Nothing much, and yourself?" For "What's up?" I respond with "I'm doing well, how about you?"

It trips him up every time.

 

[fenrizz]

If you don't want answers, don't ask me questions.

Being Norwegian I'm perfectly happy standing in silence, in fact I would prefer it.
Nothing worse than chatty people, especially in stores.

 

[hermes]

You are just overthinking it. Yes, it is a generic greeting, and as such, a generic response is mostly appropriate. That is about it. To be poignant about it is like being poignant about someone using the incorrect "good morning/day/afternoon/evening/night" inflection depending of the hour. That is: rather pointless and says more about your obsessiveness than his clumsiness.

If someone doesn't have enough with the generic greeting, they can always go ahead to more specific inquires... it is not like human interaction is being charged by the line.

 

[SweetShark]

OHOHOHOHO!!!!
Believe me, it is mess up alright. I made a similar Thread like yours which I tell how annoying is to tell daily the classic discussion oevr and over again:
"Hello, how are you man"
"Fine!!! And you? How are you?"
"Fine as well. Thank you"

But of course when I am actually trying to tell them how I am doing, like if I am sick or I am sh*t, they freaking don't pay attention at all! They just want to get away from me as fast as possible and buy the f*cking product I am selling.
Thankfully they are actually some people they care to have a normal discussion.

DELETE SCENE:

"Hello, How are you man"
"I am like sh*t today! I hit by accident my left foot and the pain is killing me!"
"Ok"
"......"
"......"
"Do you just want to buy the f*cking medicine and leave I guess?"
"Yes please"
"F*ck you. I get sick [HAHAHAH JOKE] of this sh*t!!!"
"wh...what do yo-"
*get hit by a f*cking keyboard*

Btw, it is *hilarious* to hear patients who say the classic "How are you bla bla bla bullsh*t" and then IMMEDIATELY say they are in bad condition!!!!

Haaaaaaaaa.......

 

[SweetShark]

Yeah, over here in the UK we have also have "You alright?" or "You okay?" which serve the same purpose. It's small talk, the point isn't to exchange any useful information, just to acknowledge the other person.

"You arlright?"
"Yes, I fine. You?"
"I am okay."
"I am have f*cking cancer btw"

 

[Palpatin93]

If it really is an American thing, then it's already leaking into other cultures. As a German, I encounter the rethorical "How are you" very frequently. It puts me in a weird spot, because I never exactly know what they want to hear as an answer...
And because I really don't like that awkwardness, I usually try to subvert this kind of thing by honestly telling them how I'm doing and giving a brief summary of the general problems I'm facing/ successes I've had. When people learn to expect that, they hopefully learn to not ask this question with the expectation of a ritualized "I'm fine".

I dunno; 'Wie geht es Ihnen?' never strikes me the same way as 'How are you'. Even the more informal 'Wie gehst du?' seems to require a more complete response than 'Gut'.

On topic: It's a good thing to say when you don't have anything else to say to a colleague at work, for instance. For instance there's a new hire at my lab that I don't know very well so I'll ask her 'How are you?' or 'How was your weekend?' and I'll use body language and/or eye contact to indicate that I'm not just asking for the sake of asking. I mean, asking 'How are you' while standing in front of the recipient and making eye contact is very different from asking 'How are you?' while rushing past them and looking at one's watch or something.
If I know the person semi-well, I might ask a more pointed question like 'How are your sons doing?' or 'How's that throat infection?'.

Well, I wouldn't call "Wie geht es ihnen?" the direct equivalent to the usage of "How are you?" that is being referred to here. And yeah, even "Wie geht es dir?" (not "Wie gehst du?", but no biggie^^) usually sounds a lot like a sincere question.
But already the abbreviated "Wie geht's?" seems to anticipate an automated response. I think abbreviation (to the point of a sort of one-syllable grunt, as alreay demonstrated in some other post) goes a long way to ritualize this exchange. And, as you said, the longer or the more specific the question is, the more does it sound like an actual question.
I also like your point about body language. The kind of 'How are you' that only wants a "Fine, and you" is almost never accompanied by any sort of gesture, or even eye-contact, it seems to me.

 

[DoPo]

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

Pffft, it's much more awkward to ask "What are you?" while slowly backing away in confusion.

Still less awkward than taking a long look at them, followed by shouting "WHY ARE YOU?" at the top of your lungs then sprinting away.

 

[RJ 17]

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

Pffft, it's much more awkward to ask "What are you?" while slowly backing away in confusion.

Still less awkward than taking a long look at them, followed by shouting "WHY ARE YOU?" at the top of your lungs then sprinting away.

Which is, itself, less awkward than taking a long look at them before shouting "WHEN ARE YOU?!" at the top of your lungs before running away while making the 3 Stooges "Woopwoopwoopwoop!" sound.

 

[DoPo]

I prefer the much more awkward, "who are you?" followed by backing away in confusion.

Pffft, it's much more awkward to ask "What are you?" while slowly backing away in confusion.

Still less awkward than taking a long look at them, followed by shouting "WHY ARE YOU?" at the top of your lungs then sprinting away.

Which is, itself, less awkward than taking a long look at them before shouting "WHEN ARE YOU?!" at the top of your lungs before running away while making the 3 Stooges "Woopwoopwoopwoop!" sound.

Yet not as awkward asking somebody "How are you?"...

...wa-a-a-ait

 

[manic_depressive13]

The real problem is the inconsistency. Some people do expect/ volunteer more than just a "Well, thanks". You never know who will think you're needy for giving a long answer and who will think you're standoffish for giving a curt one. Similarly you never know when simply being polite will leave you trapped in a conversation.

 

[Conner42]

In New York we give a brief but accurate answer.
"How are you?"
"Could be better; slightly headachey, otherwise good."

I've heard that it's a bit different in the north eastern states. People from here say that people are more rude and rushed, but, comparing it to where I live(Oklahoma), it seems like people respect each other's space and privacy more as it generally is a bit more crowded and people usually have places to be. Sure, Okies might seem nice up front, but you only see people's true colors when they're behind a wheel tailgating you even though there's nothing you can do to let them pass.

When I was in South Korea, I found it nice how random people won't just randomly talk to you for no reason. One person, I think she was an older person from Minnesota, seemed a bit unsettled that no one talked to each other in the subway, but, damn, that makes perfect sense to me. Why would anyone want to talk to each other? I honestly felt like I could be more introverted in a crowded city than I could in place where there's more space and less people. Would you feel this is reflective of New York?

 

[Maxtro]

I'm an American and I don't play the "how are you" game with strangers. Franky it's just weird and too fake for me.

I never ask people how they are doing unless I mean it. My response to "how are you" is "hello."