I've Had Enough!

[Lenny Magic]

And do you feel good after writing all that? I really hope you do. because my advise to you is to tell them how you feel. Good luck

 

[BaldursBananaSoap]

Get on the first plane you see and never look back.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

My girlfriend is the same way. Her parents (or father rather) beat her and mentally abused her as a kid and so she's developed anorexia, depression, insomnia, and an intense need to please others. The last one causes her to constantly be the "nice guy" and help everyone else with their problems and sacrifice her own well being for her "friends" who are simply using her for a little therapy. One day she'll snap just like you did. Anyway man good for you for taking that first step and I hope it all works out. When dad gets home stand your ground and don't be afraid to get angry. I bet a little unexpected assertiveness would throw him off.

 

[Sparrow]

Wah, wah, wah.

It's an old argument, but what the hell: Alot of people wish they were as well off as you.

 

[Dr Ampersand]

Le snip snip snip

Wait, so your idea of saying "I HAVE HAD ENOUGHT OF YOUR SH*T" is to be passive aggressive?
Passive aggression solves nothing. Be direct. You've stepped up from "quietly hoping" to quietly acting, so take it up another notch and act loudly.
Take up your issues with your parents directly, confront them. If they don't listen, try getting a group therapy session to see if that helps get through to them.

Ghandi begs to differ.

On Topic: I'd invite your father to have a talk and remind him that he expects you to fail yet you pass and that he doesn't control you.

 

[eatenbyagrue]

Wah, wah, wah.

It's an old argument, but what the hell: Alot of people wish they were as well off as you.

I never claimed to be the worst sob story. Off the bat, I can name several good things about my life: I live in general comfort, people generally agree that I'm quite the smart fellow, I'm genuinely nice to a fault, etc.

I never asked for sympathy either. I just had a load I wanted to get off my chest. The idea behind it, as I explained, is catharsis.

 

[Georg8]

*hug* im glad your getting it done, but hey being sensitive isnt all bad the ladies love it

 

[G1eet]

And I plan to leave. I know its not considered cool to like the Americans, but honestly, after living with the kind of crap being a Filipino gives me, I'd rather be an American, or pretty much anything that isn't here in the East.

Yes, moving here to the U.S. is a good idea. In fact, my hometown has a large Filipino population. I'd bet 85% of the doctors working in the private sector are either first or second generation Filipino.

You'd just have to get used to living alongside rednecks and the occasional "white trash". But if you get a nice house in a good part of town, it can work out very well.

And you would have to get used to snow. Lots of it.

Edit: We also have a few local newspapers that you could get a job at.

 

[yaik7a]

OK, I get that culturally asians don't move out at 21 but... Can you seriously not get ANY job? When do you finish your degree? And do you not move out for college anyway?

Whenever you finish your degree you should move out of Asia altogether. You have perfect English. You'd get a job. Maybe a shit one, but a job nonetheless. Unless, secretly deep down you don't want to move out...

I can, but it won't be one that can support a person.

To put things into perspective: people with college degrees here will sometimes have to settle for busing tables. To get even a menial job becomes next to impossible without any kind of degree.

I come from an old money family with a big business to support them, but its a big family and going to work in the "family business" wouldn't improve matters one bit.

I speak excellent English and could get a job doing tech support, but I tried it, and honestly, the pay is bad. Remember this next time you call tech support: the guy on the other end of the line with an indecipherable accent? Most likely, he's doing it for less than $300 a month. He's most likely a college student doing this to make ends meet, or trying to get some extra money so they can have a little nest egg when they finish school. He's working late into the night until the wee hours of the morning, knowing he has classes in the morning, worried about tests and making it to school on time, and projects he has to turn in and books he has to read.

It's sad, yes, but thats what people in the third world will put up with for a little money.

And I plan to leave. I know its not considered cool to like the Americans, but honestly, after living with the kind of crap being a Filipino gives me, I'd rather be an American, or pretty much anything that isn't here in the East.

Go to Canada or Europe as there is a demand for degrees there .

 

[Viperus]

(99.3% on the exam, with a 122 IQ recorded by same

You should be good at Math's then.

Oh please, stop saying that. I am a mensa member, currently studying IT and you know what? I suck at math. Its not that I cant multiply or divide, the problem about advanced math is that you have to memorize all sorts of theorems and formulas. I do understand pretty much everything the teacher says (if im not sleeping, that is) , but I dont have the will to study or even recap, so I quickly forget most of it.

Also, eatenbyagrue, you should finish the course you desire as fast as possible, and move out. Move to another part of town where nobody knows you and start over. I understand that you love your parents, but enough is enough. Choosing a profession that suits you is one of the most important things in life. Your job, in a way, defines who you are.

I live in a country where children live with their parents at least until they finish college, so I can understand your problem, but if your parents arent supportive, you have to fight for yourself. Your father seems like a man who cares for his pride much more then for his son. I know that family pride is very important to Asians, but that doesnt mean they have to control your life.

Oh, and you might be too nice. There is a saying in my country, and it goes something like this. A man with more friends then fingers on a hand, is a fool. Basically, if you're breaking your back for people that wouldnt do anything for you, they arent your friends. Pick a few kind and clever people and stick with them.

 

[TheThinker]

So what was the whole point of this exercise? Nothing. I just wanted to finally get this off my chest. As another user (The Thinker) once said, and I paraphrase as such, "Whining is cathartic". Catharsis, good people, is a term originating from the Greek "katharien", which means "to cleanse". It's supposedly why people enjoy watching drama: by imposing our troubles and issues on the characters, we sort of "wish" them away, cleansing our "souls" and allowing us to continue, despite whatever soul-sucking monstrosities we encounter in our day-to-day life.

So, my fellow Escapists, this is my catharsis.

A great big congratulations on actually conveying your rant eloquently!

I can empathise a little, I grew up with an older sister who could do no wrong. She won awards and scholarships left and right, got the top of the state for her end of school exams, is doing honours in some ridiculous course, and managed to keep fit and have an amazing social life at the same time.

Then there was me, an unathletic runt (well, not anymore atleast) who got average grades, had a few friends but not many, was anti-social and shy and didn't do anything exceptional. When I was 15 they gave me an ultimatum, be like the sister, or get the fuck out of the house. So I buckled down and got good grades at the sacrifice of those fleeting holidays and weekends, and won their approval. University didn't go well, I felt out of place and uninterested in the coursework and I left, which was outrageous to them...

And then I told them that I had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and they seemed to stop trying to get me to do this sort of thing almost at once, and now my mother seems to see me as a fragile little egg. I don't know what is worse, but I'll say I don't like being treated as some special case in the same way as I don't like being put in the shadow of a special case like my sister.

All I can assume, is that parents sometimes act in ways that seem utterly retarded because they care too much. Not everyone is cut out to be that dad that hangs out all the time with his son, or the supportive yet caring mother, but you need to remember that they treat you this way because they want the best for you. Not only this, parents can be of an age where they see their own ambitions not bearing any fruit and so they try and achieve vicariously through offspring. Your parents want to know they raised a winner, they want to believe you are absolutely a special little boy.

I know my parents stopped interfering so much when I left the country to live overseas, which is obviously more than you need to do, but it worked. My mother kicked me out, but on realising that I kept her company and that I really didn't need her to keep on living, she pleaded for me to come back. If you think you are ready, talk about moving out. A mother suffering from empty nest syndrone acts very differently, but if she doesn't, well move out anyway and enjoy a kick ass time with your friends.

The best time I ever had was when I moved away, met new people and lived indepedently but amongst friends. I'd highly recommend it if you have some likeminded friends who want to join you. Otherwise I wish you the best, and hope that you hold your fathers gaze steadily when you tell him that you are a man, a man with his own ambitions and desires, and he can either appreciate you for who you are or miss the joy of seeing you become the person that you want to be.

EDIT: After just reading about the job situation in later posts. Being poor isn't so bad, in fact I think roughing it and just scraping by is a fun experience, but each to his own I guess. I sure lived in some crappy places, but the people made them great.

 

[Haunted Serenity]

Serve in the military. it will give you disapline and a purpose then reattack your life. You are your own person. be that person not what your parents think.

 

[Terramax]

*snip*

Man I so wish I had the brains you had. I want to write a number of things but I'm pretty certain it'd end up being offensive to your parents. My best advice is to look into finding a new home.

The reason why your parents tell you what to do is probably because they think you aren't independant. Get out of there, prove you can stand on your own two feet, and if they come round your place and still tell you what to do then show them the exit.

Although I'm sure you already know all this and chances are you haven't been able to move out already because of something like financial issues. All I can say is with intelligence like yours you've every chance of a good life. So go get it!

 

[Yarkaz]

Good on you for making a first step, let us hope it is one of many. Please do not take offense but you're parents appear to be no more than incompetent in raising children, was your Father a drill Sergant at some point in his 'illustrious' career?
It's true there are two sides to every story, however from your description his actions in parenthood are some of the most impractical and backwards of them all.

Dad used to manage a restaurant, then retired from that and started a catering business.

I'm guessing the resentment comes from the fact that he wanted an athlete for a son, and instead I went and became one of those shy bookworms. I spent many a day of my childhood sitting under a tree reading something, only for dad to take it away and force me to play basketball with the neighborhood kids, despite the fact that as a kid, I was large, slow and awkward as hell.

Ah, there's a feeling I know pretty well. My Dad is the same way. He was a pretty amazing soccer player as a kid, and expected me to be the same. For a while I was outside a lot, then he made the mistake of buying me a N64. Thus was Yarkaz born.
Anyways, a while later he started complaining about how much time I spent inside, and this was fueled by all the hand-me-down game consoles my Uncle gave me. On top of that I was a bookworm like yourself, but my parents didn't mind this so much as the games.

But this isn't really a time for me to talk about myself. Guess I just wanted to say that your rant was very well constructed, and prolly the first one I've read on the internet that didn't make me say "Geez, this guy is annoying."

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Nice rant there. (that Is a compliment)
I feel like a true ass while reading it. I have (had) great parents (my father died). They always supported me, while not trying to limit me to what they thought was best for me.
And I'm still an apapthetic asshole.

 

[similar.squirrel]

..
You're 21 years old.
That is all.