Iwata: Nintendo's E3 Showing Wasn't That Great

[Jumplion]

However, Nintendo, if you really want to make me happy, just announce an Elite Beat Agents sequel already.

You have no idea how much I support this notion.

Nintendo, HIRE THIS MAN RIGHT NOW!@!!!@!#$@!#$

I was boooooorn in a crossfire hurricane~

And I howled at my ma in the driving rain,~
But its all right now, in fact, its a gas!~
But its all right. Im jumpin jack flash,~
Its a gas! gas! gas!~

Everyone now!

I can perfectly imagine "Mama Mia, here I go again" being in Elite Beat Agents. It's the perfect song for a game like that, no?

 

[MajoraPersona]

Best way to make money is to target the people with available cash.

Best way to do that is to fill a void in their pathetic life (by playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day).

Best way to do that is to actually understand people and make some strange new device that allows them to dance in their living rooms.

And thus the DDR Mat was born. As a result my aggressive psycho ***** sister hogs the PS2, and even had it moved farther away from me, even though no one in the house plays the god-damned thing.

Also, Nintendo's got balls. Japanese balls, but balls all the same.

 

[theultimateend]

...the man at the helm of an industry giant with a money-printing machine called the Wii.

Wrong Funk wrong!

thats worth a good chuckle. i think nintendo should just put a big middle finger on their logo for good measure, juuuuust in case anyone still thinks they care. god, they care about making money more than microsoft. which i thought was impossible.

They want to make money and they haven't punched me in the taint to do so. I think that's pretty admirable.

Though I could say the same about Microsoft. From a PC standpoint I like Microsoft. Since I'm not a dumb shit I know how to properly build a PC and thus I've had maybe a dozen crashes in as many years. The fact that their software even works on most builds blows my mind.

THOUGH don't get me started with the 360...god. Their Gaming division has the largest group of dumb motherfuckers I have ever dealt with. The 360 is a nice system in theory but the limitations they put on it (for what...achievements?) is horrible. Most games have replayability from the fact that once you've beaten it on all 9 difficulties you can cheat and open up a new world of fun. Cheating on 360? No freaking chance, because they don't want people unfairly getting achievements...oh god no don't let that happen.

But yeah. Currently using Windows 7 and enjoying every minute of it. Course I also had no problem with Vista (it wasn't really worth talking about but it wasn't the hellstorm most people made it out to be after SP1 at least).

Basically if a company wants to make billions I'm cool with it, just don't step on my ass to do so. So far the only company out of the 3 I've seen doing that is Sony. "So why are you making the PSP GO more expensive?" "Because we are sony." "Should you have said that out loud?"

 

[AncientYoungSon]

I thought the showing was just fine. MG2, Metroid:OM, NSMB Wii. We're finally getting REAL games for a change. Imagine that.

I'm still laughing at the massive pile of fail that is Natal...

 

[Tharticus]

Mainly this year's E3 is nothing but peripherals. Wii Vitality Sensor? Demonstrate how this thing works.

 

[A random person]

However, Nintendo, if you really want to make me happy, just announce an Elite Beat Agents sequel already.

You have no idea how much I support this notion.

Nintendo, HIRE THIS MAN RIGHT NOW!@!!!@!#$@!#$

What I will do if in charge of Nintendo:

-Try to make said Elite Beat Agents sequel.
-Localize and release Mother 3 in the States.
-Try to get "casual" gamers over to "hardcore" games as Nintendo promised (Elite Beat Agents would be a good way to do that).
-Make sure Wii motion control stays limited to pointing and very simple gestures, because that's when it's actually good.
-Tighten requirements for the Nintendo Seal of Approval. Someone's gotta stop the flow of shovelware, and it looks like I'm the only one willing for the job.
-Encourage a lesser focus on realistic graphics and more on stylized graphics, as that's what the Wii was meant for.
-Make the next console have more hardware power. The lack with the Wii didn't seem that bad a thing at first, but it crippled the system. Just imagine if it had 360-esque specs.
-Work with developers to make good anime games. I mean, a lot of series have so much potential that goes to waste. And someone needs to makes a good Gurren Lagann game.
-Release a Wii hard drive.
-In conjunction with the above, improve WiiWare and Virtual Console to compete with Xbox Live Arcade and the Playstation Store. I know the Wii's hardware isn't quite as good as the others, but I'm fairly sure that, with storage improvements, it can run games like those.
-Try to reduce the boarder between Japan and America when it comes to games.
-And overall, try to bring back Nintendo's glory and style from the NES and SNES days while improving and moving forward.

 

[IamQ]

I thought it was ok, but it went downwards when they started talking about that book-club-detective-game for feminists.

 

[GonzoGamer]

They know which side of their bread is buttered.
I think we should all just expect some good nap time during Nintendo's e3 keynotes for years to come.

 

[Cryo84R]

E3 is geared to those of us who keep an eye on things and consider this a regular hobby, so the press get to show us all the newest and fanciest.
Nintendo is not geared towards us. I believe their attitude at E3 over the last couple of years have proved that.

Damn it, I owned a 64 and a gamecube. I was faithful when they were struggling.

And they reward my consumer brand loyalty with the Weeee! and a vitality sensor.

You broke my heart nintendo.

 

[AceDiamond]

E3 is geared to those of us who keep an eye on things and consider this a regular hobby, so the press get to show us all the newest and fanciest.
Nintendo is not geared towards us. I believe their attitude at E3 over the last couple of years have proved that.

Damn it, I owned a 64 and a gamecube. I was faithful when they were struggling.

And they reward my consumer brand loyalty with the Weeee! and a vitality sensor.

You broke my heart nintendo.

Hm that's funny I was faithful during the same time and they rewarded my loyalty with a next-gen remake of Punch-Out. Perhaps you're doing it wrong. And by doing it wrong I mean focusing on shit that has nothing to do with you or 99% of the software they're going to put out.

All seriousness though aside from Metroid Other M I wasn't too wowed by Nintendo's E3 showing but I don't even care about E3 anyway. Yet the humility is refreshing unlike some companies I could name.

 

[grimsprice]

Basically if a company wants to make billions I'm cool with it, just don't step on my ass to do so. So far the only company out of the 3 I've seen doing that is Sony. "So why are you making the PSP GO more expensive?" "Because we are sony." "Should you have said that out loud?"

yeah. i can get behind you on that. true true. i've had the same experience with windows products. they're not that bad... tho i am eagerly awaiting google chrome os... but thats another story... i just felt that nintendo has been defecating on anyone who wants to play actual ''games'' on their console. if they kept up the Zelda, Mario,Smash bros. games i wouldn't complain... but it seems to me that they are focusing on selling their own tech more than providing good content. they let shovel ware of the HIGHEST order to come out.. what happened to the nintendo seal of approval? they seem to me to be more concerned with releasing the new wii mote enhancement, the zapper, the wii fit board, the FUCKING VITALS SENSOR? what is that? whats next... an anal probe that sense how puckered your ass is? maybe i shouldn't give them any ideas... i just feel like they have shifted from selling 1's and 0's to selling plastic and circuitry. and ass a controller and mouse based gamer i feel like their product has shifted from digital entertainment to more of a hasbro toys line.

 

[theultimateend]

Basically if a company wants to make billions I'm cool with it, just don't step on my ass to do so. So far the only company out of the 3 I've seen doing that is Sony. "So why are you making the PSP GO more expensive?" "Because we are sony." "Should you have said that out loud?"

yeah. i can get behind you on that. true true. i've had the same experience with windows products. they're not that bad... tho i am eagerly awaiting google chrome os... but thats another story... i just felt that nintendo has been defecating on anyone who wants to play actual ''games'' on their console. if they kept up the Zelda, Mario,Smash bros. games i wouldn't complain... but it seems to me that they are focusing on selling their own tech more than providing good content. they let shovel ware of the HIGHEST order to come out.. what happened to the nintendo seal of approval? they seem to me to be more concerned with releasing the new wii mote enhancement, the zapper, the wii fit board, the FUCKING VITALS SENSOR? what is that? whats next... an anal probe that sense how puckered your ass is? maybe i shouldn't give them any ideas... i just feel like they have shifted from selling 1's and 0's to selling plastic and circuitry. and ass a controller and mouse based gamer i feel like their product has shifted from digital entertainment to more of a hasbro toys line.

I couldn't believe that tripping in Smash Bros wasn't toggle able.

Who the fuck ever heard of having a handicap in a game that you couldn't turn off? You can turn down weapons, change damage, change levels, but you CAN'T turn off tripping.

Why?

Because the asshole who made the game wanted it to be a party game. Fuck you dude give me a "party" toggle for when I want to play with a bunch of cunts who can't deal with fair play.

I dunno. I loved Melee, but Brawl was...utterly disappointing. Which was a shame too because other than missing Pichu I loved the cast. (Seriously nothing was quite as satisfying as beating people with Pichu)