James Bond's Drinking Would Kill Him, Medical Journal Warns

[UniversalRonin]

I'm not sure if this increases or decreases his Lad status. He's the ultimate action hero, with a blood alcohol volume that puts most to shame, and he still manages to woo the ladies, and I've yet to see him vomming on any of his posh suits or fast cars. And (The Craig version) is still ripped as hell. Pretty sure I'd look like a walrus if I drank like that. And how often can you come up with something truly witty while on a 20+ year bender? He does it just about every time someone he doesn't like opens their mouth. I mean, come on. What a lad.

JB- If there was a King of Lads (And if I could specifically pick the Timothy Dalton version- He was a bond way ahead of his time, and easily my favourite.) I would vote for you. ESPECIALLY in the light of this news.

 

[Blue_vision]

I think someone kind of missed part of the point. The thing about James Bond is he's in an incredibly dangerous line of work and pretty much assumes someone is going to take him out at some point. Given that he can die on a moment's notice and possibly not even know who did it or why, he lives hard, all the cigarettes, fast women, and potent drinks are part of it. He's generally speaking not a guy who thinks in terms of retiring, given that his basic job is "hey go and infiltrate the lair of this psychotic mad scientist billionaire guy who wants to wipe out the world and whom surrounds himself with world class mercenaries and assasins".

The concern I have with analysis from the direction of this article is that it seems like the first step in someone wanting to say "modernize" James Bond by getting rid of all of his defining bad habits to make him a better role model.

I'll also say that this basic attitude does kind of apply to people in high stress or dangerous jobs across the board. It's why things like the hard drinking cop have become stereotypes and worked their way into fiction, why soldiers in foreign war zones are infamous for their excesses (drugs, booze, and whores), and similar things. I'll also say that if you think Rock Stars are bad, nobody can trash a hotel room like a bunch of celebrating firemen. Airline Stewardesses also seem to have a very stressful job, and let's just say that stereotype also seems to exist for a reason. The point being when your always stressed out, or could literally die on your job tomorrow, you aren't thinking in terms of "gee, is drinking this much all the time going to kill me by the time I'm 60?". If you were to hypothetically ask James Bond what he'd be doing when he was 60 he'd probably have no idea because he wouldn't expect to be alive that far into the future, and if he was, it wouldn't matter because the guy probably drinks largely because he literally has people (and we're talking world class killers here) trying to kill him all the time, which probably causes a lot of stress no matter what demeanor he projects.

I think the fact that you're rationalizing it by comparing James Bond to people in real life is the problem. You can rationalize it away as much as you want, but that doesn't mean that alcohol abuse isn't a problem. Sure, the life expectancy of a firefighter might be 65 years (I'm having a hard time finding concrete numbers) or something, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to drink your liver out. Stress is a part of life; self-medication with alcohol is not a healthy way to solve the problem. That's the point of the article; that the celebrated excessive alcohol consumption we see in the media is unrealistic and in fact extremely harmful. Alcohol abuse is a problem that needs to be taken seriously (as the paper says, 4% of deaths worldwide are related to alcohol consumption.)

 

[jng2058]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if one goes through the books looking at his professional life, he's MUCH more likely to eat a bullet and die at 35 than live long enough to die of liver failure in his 60's.

 

[Psychobabble]

In other news, BMJ is grasping for straws to have at least SOMETHING to do.

Yep.

Wow this is amazing hard hitting news!! I wonder how long before they finish their assessment of the realistic longevity of Wiley Coyote

It depends. Is chasing Roadrunners a growing problem in society that puts a great strain on the medical services and is especially prevalent at this time of year?

Until cartoon animal pursuit and self-inflicted trap injuries become as big a societal problem and health risk as alcohol abuse, I don't think the British Medical Journal will publish a study about Wile E Coyote in order to raise awareness of the issue in a light-hearted and captivating manner.

Probably about as many Roadrunner chasing young people as there are that have actually read a single James Bond novel. Again, it's not only a waste of people's time but also complete and total bullshit to compare a fictional character's antics with real life. I'm sure Bond would have been just as dead from all the cigarettes he smoked, or from STD's from all the fucking around he did, or crippled for life or just outright dead from the sheer amount of injuries he's suffered as well. Oh and not to mention OLD AGE. Which again means absolutely fuck all as he's fictional. People don't become raging alcoholics from emulating something they've seen in fiction. They do so because they first enjoy the feeling of getting completely out of their head on an intoxicating substance for fun or to outrun their troubles, or any other number of very real reasons, and then later because they've become addicted and can't quit. A professional medical journal trying to make some correlation between reality and fiction is just disingenuous horse shit.

 

[james.sponge]

hmmm this doesn't seem very credible, what about bums who drink heavily throughout their 50s/60s/70s/80s and live until their 90s, same with smokers and drug addicts, most of this (meaning dying because of your addictions) stuff depends on your genetic predispositions. Here's a worthy task for you BMJ! Research Bond's DNA.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

60 grammes of ethanol is 5*33 cl 4.6% beers, which breaks even with 0 grammes of ethanol a day in terms of life expectency.
Granted there will arise lots of other problems but his arteries and heart will be in completely uncloted condition.

If he drinks that much daily he is more than capable of driving, it might not be legal but he's able to do it just fine.
Besides he probably has hyperactive alcohol dehydrogenase and aldehyde dehydrogenase that speed up the burning process of ethanol and byproduct.

 

[Barbas]

James Bond is a bit of a funny case. I remember watching the old outlandish films with their eccentric villains and doomsday devices and being thrilled by it. Bond himself was a character I found enthralling and inspiring for a time because he always killed the necessary villain and got the necessary girl. When I re-watched a lot of those movies in my teens, I still enjoyed them but my opinion of Bond had changed dramatically. He was someone who appeared to enjoy what he did a little too much. Not only did he seem like a bit of a wanker at times, but I became steadily more convinced he was some sort of psychopath.

 

[Baldry]

I was going say to say that I know want a Bond film where he's noticeably plastered but then realised it'd essentially be Archer.

 

[Slacko]

This happens every year. Some news outlet/journalist etc quotes from the Christmas edition of the BMJ. Unfortunately the BMJ is known for running several 'spoof' articles in its Christmas edition, such as "Reflections of Father Christmas?s GP", or "Origins of magic: review of genetic and epigenetic effects", BMJ 335:1299-1301, 22 December 2007 (which involved reading through the Harry Potter novels and guessing at how magic is inherited.

On behalf of the medical community, please continue to report on these studies as if they were serious, we find it hilarious when you do

 

[Pyramid Head]

I didn't read the article yet but i'm sure what it says is that drinking watery martinis made from vodka and shaken is a sign that you have no taste and deserve to die.


*Reads Article*

...oh. I still stand by what i said. Incidentally wasn't there one book where Bond consumed roughly six bottles of liquor over the course of one stakeout?

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

He doesn't worry about drinking for the same reason he doesn't worry about renewing his license to kill.

Because he'd already be dead from being a 00.