Jimquisition: The Shi!*iest Games of 2013

hickwarrior

a samurai... devil summoner?
Nov 7, 2007
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Scrumpmonkey said:
For me this year will be marked for the continued march and standardization of anti-consumer practices like season passes (and ones that usually don't even include all the DLC), massive DRM failures, micro-transactions, day one DLC in all it's forms and the stubborn refusal to reduce the price of digital content in a console closed market.

This year I've also seen a LOT of people defending these practices and telling you to "Don't buy it then and shut up" -_-
Thank you. This is something those people need to understand before they say this: What is it you are actually telling the people in that company? You don't like the game fully. As such, the game may as well be canceled if many people send that message by closing their wallet.

This is a creative industry, and note that there are many moving parts in it. One part could be broken to all hell, when something else could entirely save it from that broken part. But corporations that are too big don't have that kind of oversight or they just don't care. Shareholders expect their property to grow, not stagnate or worse, drop in value.

I'm happy indies and kickstarter exist, since it allows old things to still be while they might be niche products. But that's another rant for another day >>
 

mike1921

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Oct 17, 2008
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Zachary Amaranth said:
mike1921 said:
I don't see what's wrong with shitting on a game like that once in a while, but I also can't see a justification for Jim Sterling using multiple spots on his list just for "HEY, IOS, YOUR GAMES BLOW".
So Joe's histrionics are fine, but making a list of shittiest games that includes two IOS games is too much?
If they're shit for pretty much the same reason? Likely. Everyone knows the IOS is full of garbage. It would flat out be 10 IOS games if he didn't limit it to just the one that personally infuriated him.
Jim didn't hammer on the IOS itself any more than he said "hey consoles, you games are broken." His estimation of Final Fantasy may be a bit over the top, but come on. It's not the full-blown tantrum Joe went for. ermagerd you'll break your ipad its so baaaaaad!
Yes Joe is more dramatic, great, if you don't like it don't watch it. I'm not subbed to him because I don't want dramatics often, so I watch TB generally. If you don't think it's an absolutely dreadful game though, I'd like to know what you have seen to make you think otherwise, because from what I have seen trexels is probably a lesser game than All The Bravest.


Joe's lost his mind over pretty much every Star Trek game to come out since I've become aware of the guy.
He likes the franchise, he hates seeing horrible games coming out for a franchise he likes, that's normal. Especially when all the games to come out have been garbage.
I've come to think either he is the most childish person ever given a YouTube channel (which is saying something) or he's cynically playing with over-the-top theatrics
Why do you need to be cynical to be over the top? I hope no one actually thinks Joe would break his Ipad after playing trexels. I mean I see how he could grind people, but it doesn't seem to me like he's hiding that it's partly an act.
 

BrownGaijin

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Jan 31, 2009
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The Maya didn't predict that the world was going to end last year. For them the said date was a day of reflection and celebration. The whole end of the world thing was a "westerner" concept that was plugged in. Then again that wasn't the point of the video (or was it?)

OT (or is it?): I'm also surprised that Sim City didn't get added to this list. I can't recall a time that many of us were foaming at the mouth because of how EA ('scuse me "Maxis") wanted it released.
 

Two-A

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Aug 1, 2012
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T_ConX said:
Two-A said:
What exactly was bad about Gone Home? I'm not lashing out or anything (I haven't even played it), I'm just curious.
A lot of it has to do with the fact that so many game critics feel the need to praise this game, because failing to might make them seem like ignorant philistines. In that respect, Gone Home is Emperors New Clothes: The Game.

Not Really That Groundbreaking...
Despite being held in contrast to the moronic FPSs this industry is flooded with, Gone Home has more in common with the genre than it would like to admit.

Think about it. A typical level in Halo would involve you moving in a linear fashion from area to area. Each new area gives you some dudes to shoot, while Cortana and your other friends read you various plot points over your headset. Sometimes you have to loop around places, or back track,

Gone Home works just like that, except instead of shooting dudes, you look for letters and other clues as to what your family's been up to this past year. Sam telepathically narrates exposition into your head while you read old letters and passive-aggressive family memos.

The game isn't very subtle about its plot. Sam beams the important stuff straight into your head, while the minor plot-lines of your parents are spelled out in hard-to-miss documents.


The Plot is Stupid

The story is that Sam was supposed to be waiting for your arrival, except at the last minute she got a call from Lonnie, who has decided to go AWOL. They decide to take your moms jewelry and all the VCRs and make a run for it.

BUT! Before hitting the road, your sister decides to:
-Leave her diary (that she wanted you to read) in the attic.
-Leave the key to the attic inside a secret room that only she and Lonnie knew about.
-Leave the directions to the secret room on a desk in a room on the east side of the house.
-Lock the door that leads to the east half of the house, so that the only way to get over there is a detour through the basement.
-Lock the door to the basement.
-Leave the key to the basement in a locker in her room.
-Rip the combination to this locker in two, and place the halves inside hidden wall compartments.

(I'm half pulling this from memory, and half pulling from a walk-through, so there might be a mistake up there...)

She does all of this knowing full well that you have never once been in this house. Not only that, but after wasting so much time setting up this elaborate scavenger hunt, she leaves a note telling you that she's left, that you shouldn't go looking for her, and that THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN WHY SHE'S GONE.

Sam Greenbriar is the dumbest character of the year.

Price Point
$20 for a game that barely lasts two hours? And you though FF:ATB was a highway robbery...

Visuals
The graphics are just bad, even for an indie game.

Rape Culture
There's a torn out, crumpled up diary page hidden in the house. In it, Sam details the time Lonnie forced herself on her in the middle of the night while Sam was sleeping. Lonnie is 18/19 in the game, but Sam is only 17. Age of consent in Oregon was, and still is, 18 years.

That's rape. Rape is wrong, but this fact seems lost on both the developers and Gone Homes lunatic fan-base.
Well that was informative, thank you. (I'm kind of tempted to buy it, just to see what it's about, but only if I see on offer.)

Happy New Year, Escapist community.
 

nykirnsu

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Oct 13, 2012
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Sarge034 said:
nykirnsu said:
"Merle and Daryl (Daryl and Merle?) in a video game... What could be better?" I think. I can understand Rooker just fine most of the time but the clip seemed compressed or just a hair too short.
I assume they're characters from the show? I'm not a Walking Dead fan but that would make sense.
 

Sarge034

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Feb 24, 2011
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nykirnsu said:
I assume they're characters from the show? I'm not a Walking Dead fan but that would make sense.
Oh. Yeah they are and they are also the main protagonists of the game. Rooker plays Merle in TWD (and might voice him in the game) and Daryl is his brother in the show/game.
 

hermes

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Mar 2, 2009
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Is it even fair to put mobile games in the same space as retail releases? Not that those games are good or need defending, but since they exist in a market filled with things that can barely be considered games or knock offs of better games, its hard to consider these games "the worst" instead of "the ones Jim happened to try to play".

Also, it is kind of unfair to compare an Aliens mobile game with an Aliens full price game.

Finally, its hard to blame "the state of the AAA industry" on a mobile game a handful of people did as an afterthought.
 

PsychedelicDiamond

Wild at Heart and weird on top
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Jan 30, 2011
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Rainbow_Dashtruction said:
PsychedelicDiamond said:
Kinda surprised that Batman: Arkham Origins wasn't among them. Other than that pretty agreeable.
Since when is Origins a bad game? I haven't played it, but from what I heard, aside from reusing half the map from the previous game, and generally not adding much to it, it was still a great game just like Arkham City, just really really lacking in innovation.
I haven't played it myself but i remember Jim giving it a pretty scathing review back on Destructoid.