joke post

[Varun Garuda Maharaj]

yes submit a joke, no racism plz
heres one: A cell phone company was having a wedding, but they forgot one thing: RECEPTION

 

[keybird]

So, its a thread about bad puns.

...oh god... [http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/]

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

I'm curious as to whether this would go in forum games? I also can't help but feel this post is lacking in...a lot of things. This will get locked pretty quickly seeing as the majority of people here have a somewhat dark humour and the jokes will be rather offensive.

 

[Wolfram23]

I'm curious as to whether this would go in forum games? I also can't help but feel this post is lacking in...a lot of things. This will get locked pretty quickly seeing as the majority of people here have a somewhat dark humour and the jokes will be rather offensive.

Just to emphasize...


What do blondes and airplanes have in common?



...cockpits.

 

[GOD OF THE NEW WROLD]

That was ahsome you just made my day.

 

[lacktheknack]

Basic search bar use will show that no matter HOW much you say "No Offensive Posts Please", the dead baby jokes will still come flowing in.

Or if nothing else, some smartass Canadian will gleefully say "So, a baby seal walked into a club..."

/irony

 

[dududf]

So I was up north one winter, and I saw the strangest thing! A baby seal walked right into a club. To its dismay, it received no alcoholic beverage.

 

[Wolfram23]

Know why all the trees in *your city* bend to the south? Because *city south of you* sucks and *city north of you* blows!

 

[Simalacrum]

Oh dear, how many times has this thread already been repeated?

 

[tklivory]

Two men walked into a bar. You would have thought that the second man saw it.

 

[Instant K4rma]

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire right side cut off? Doctors say he's "all right" now.

 

[Hazy]

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire right side cut off? Doctors say he's "all right" now.

D'ya mean "Left side cut off"?

The classic:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

[reg42]

Jokes eh?

Spoiler: Click to see a possibly offensive blond joke

Where does a blond keep her shoes? Wrapped around her neck! Bahaha!

Or for a non-offensive one:
Two men walk into a club
Doof, Doof

 

[reg42]

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire right side cut off? Doctors say he's "all right" now.

D'ya mean "Left side cut off"?

The classic:
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Blonds may have more fun, but dyslexics have more fnu.

 

[ssgt splatter]

So, its a thread about bad puns.

...oh god... [http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/]

Ok first of all, very funny.

Second of all, why couldn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?
...
...
...
it was rated arrrrrr.

 

[ottenni]

Whats yellow and cant swim?

Spoiler

A bulldozer!

Whats pink and fluffy?

Spoiler

Pink fluff

Whats blue and fluffy?

Spoiler

Pink fluff holding its breath

What happened to the emu that went out into the rain?

Spoiler

It got wet.

 

[Jim From Accounting]

horse walks in to a bar. bartender goes why the long face

why did the 1st monkey fall out the tree ..... it was dead
why did the 2nd monkey fall out the tree ...... it was attached to the 1st
why did the 2nd monkey fall out the tree ....... it got hie by a fridge
why did the 4th monkey fall otu the tree ........ peer pressure

 

[Tuddle]

What happen to the guy who used a search bar before?

I don't know but a least his posts are original.

 

[Samcanuck]

Hey....dyslexics are teople poo.

Q: Ever wondered what it's like to make love to a senior citizen?
A: Ever pulled a grilled cheese sandwich apart?

Q: How many kids with A.D.D does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?

Man dies and goes to hell. He sits on a peice of brimstone crying when this Demon comes over.
The demon ask's "Hey man, don't worry about it...it's not so bad down here. Tell you what, do you like drinking?"
The man say's "*sniff* Yeah."
The Demon replies "Well you're going to like monday's...that's Tequila night."
Man say's "*sniff* well that's all right."
Demon say's "Yeah...and tell you what, do you like Gambling?"
Man perks up and says "Yeah."
"Well you're going to like tuesday's...that's poker night." replies the Demon
The man say's "Well that's o.k."
Demon then say's "You betcha...and do you like smoking?"
Man smiles and say's "Yeah."
Demon say's "Well tell you what, wenesday's are Cuban cigar night."
"Great" say's the man.
Demon then ask's "And tell me, are you homosexual?"
The man quickly replies "No."
Demon say's "Ooooh...you're really going to hate thursdays."

I have some ranchy jokes...but I'm not wanting to be put on probation.

 

[L3m0n_L1m3]

What's red, and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.