Kill the person above you.

[Rhymenoceros]

In this thread the aim is to kill the poster above you in as imaginative or cool way as possible.

For instance if there were someone above me I would kill them by constructing a series of orbital mirrors capable of focusing the suns rays onto a square centimetre and then test it on a series of puppies and kittens. Then when he went for a jog I would use it to burn through a branch above him causing it to fall on him and crush him.

Of course yours doesn't have to be as long or as detailed as mine.

 

[crewman_number_6]

Summoning the divine power of the God Emperor of Mankind, I cast you into the warp where a giant deamon made out of rotting flesh takes off your glasses and then feeds you to his Rhinox.

 

[Fallen-Angel Risen-Demon]

I sommon Justin Bieber and Mily Sirus to sing to you then I strap you down and make you whatch trough the twilight films nonstop while keeping you awake and making sure your eyes are open and you are listening...
OVERKILL!

 

[Irridium]

Make him watch all the Twilight movies back-to-back.
The first one will kill him in 10 minutes, the others will finish off the body.

How's that for overkill?

 

[BrailleOperatic]

I'd tell the Mad Jim Jaspers that Lord Iridium called him a ninny, causing the Mad Jim Jaspers to fly into an angry rage of fury, and create a duplicate copy of him in his own dimension, so that when Iridium encounters his copy, causing a quantum paradox which promptly snaps him out of existence, ceases his actuality, thus ending the problem.

 

[Irridium]

Show him Contact.

The stupidity of the film will cause a deadly aneurysm.

 

[crewman_number_6]

To the snake basket for you... The snake basket, OF DOOM *maniacal laughing*

 

[Ren3004]

No need for me to kill him. He's the red shirt, he'll get killed eventually.

 

[Rhymenoceros]

I bribe your Avatar to throw a shurican at you through the monitor so it stabs you in the eye

 

[BrailleOperatic]

I whip out a mad rhyme by the one, the only, Hip-Hop-opotamous, causing your brain to explode from the awesome.

 

[Blue Musician]

Make him listen to Justin Beiber while watching Twilight.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Put him in an M. Night Shyamalan film. Eventually, the plot will twist and contort until he is crushed within the convolution.

 

[Rhymenoceros]

Regale him with an endless series of questions such as: "If the universe exploded from an infinitely small point what was surrounding the point?" until his head explodes from the confusion and mind-freakery

I can't think of any more at the moment but my science class loves asking our teacher questions like those

 

[BrailleOperatic]

(I believe either nothing or anti-matter would be acceptable responses for the given question. Since space also exploded from the same point, nothing is, in fact, a rational, scientific answer.)

I blow his mind up by having an answer to the question.

 

[Fallen-Angel Risen-Demon]

Turn into my altenate identity, THE machine! And use my portal making powers to send him to the void! Where I also trapped C'thulu who would eat him.

 

[Rhymenoceros]

Tell him Sparta is to the south when really all there is that way a portal to the lowest circle of hell where he shall be roasted alive and his soul shall be subjected to... etc.

 

[Knife-28]

I stab him in the eyes a Tanto and the lop his head off.

 

[Rhymenoceros]

I stab him in the eyes a Tanto and the lop his head off.

What's a tanto?

Also, I stab you with your own name

 

[BrailleOperatic]

(It's a type of Japanese knife.)

I lock him in a room with Ashton Kutcher.

 

[Rhymenoceros]

Ah I see.

Hire Jigsaw.
Simple