Know any good euphamisms?

[lenin_117]

Got any good euphemisms? Tell. Preferably weird ones like "I'm having more fun than a pedophile running an orphanage" or any such nonsense. I'm not 100% certain that euphemism is the right word, if you know what word I'm looking for then post it.

 

[blackfrancis567]

Your sweating like a priest in a bush

It's like throwing a sausage down O Connel street

Can't remember anymore I generally make them up on the spot

 

[Willwillwritehiswill]

Why not try the euphamism generator?
http://www.walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism

Alone once again, she retired to the bedroom and began
cranking the wee cheap microphone.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

You're thinking of a simile.
A euphemism would be "I'd like to butter her popcorn HURR HURR HURR."

... Uh, that's it, really.
I got nothing.

 

[Mr Companion]

More fingers in more pies than a leper in a pie factory.
Harder than a diamond erection.
Softer than a marshmallow cushion.

I think think its a 'simile' or something. I'm not sure though. Like a metaphor, only not.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

"As much use as a Tin tack in a jock strap" I use that all the time

and my personal favourite

"He's as happy as a Cat with a Strawberry flavoured arse"

 

[Pm0n3y]

As unique and colorful as a cop arresting technicolor sheets.

 

[manicfoot]

"I'd dump HER body in the sea" - what to say when you see someone you like...

 

[blackfrancis567]

... Uh, that's it, really.
I got nothing.

I'd jelly her toast ololol.

Oh, I'd change his lightbulb.

...What have you done to me?

I'd open her register

She could pull my pint

EDIT: Had a competition with some friends before as we were walking to the shop we had to say things we saw in a "I'd [first name or part of a name of a place] your [second name or second part of a place name]" way. winner got 2 smokes which was me when I saw a sign for the ramparts I instantly said "I'd ram your parts"

 

[Inverse Skies]

I'm going to be surprised if someone is able to come up with something that isn't dirty in some way shape or form. They're just too easy when you apply that to them.

 

[thiosk]

Got any good euphemisms? Tell. Preferably weird ones like "I'm having more fun than a pedophile running an orphanage" or any such nonsense. I'm not 100% certain that euphemism is the right word, if you know what word I'm looking for then post it.

Last months euphemism thread was exactly the same, a bunch of similes and metaphors.

 

[lewism247]

You're thinking of a simile.
A euphemism would be "I'd like to butter her popcorn HURR HURR HURR."

... Uh, that's it, really.
I got nothing.

i feel immature now

Oh chemistry...good times