Kotov Syndrome

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

I...
I feel like so much shit- I don't even want to type right now.
This thread is emotional, to me atleast, and if you don't feel like reading it, I recomend not.

So recently I got this girls number, I really like her and everything, and I asked her if she wanted to see a movie with me and some friends. she said that she would like to. So today I asked her what movie she would like to see...
And...
Fuck, I don't feel like typing this, but I guess it's for the better.

She said that... fuck... she said that it was too soon to go out, even as just friends. she said I seemed like a nice guy and all...

What I don't get is why do I keep making the same fucking mistake!?!?!?!?!? WHY???

I'm fucking tired of this! I'm tired of living, just to be brought up and fall with nothing to catch.
It's a cycle of shit, and I want out of it!
It always goes like this, I was the happiest I have been in years when I met her, and now I feel worse than ever before. If life is like this, I don't get why we choose to live it!?!?!

I just don't know what to do... I never know what to do... But I'm just tired of faulting again and again.

someone please just tell me what to do. How do you survive tough situations?

 

[Mylinkay Asdara]

Too soon doesn't mean never.

Try not to take it so hard, since it's just a minor setback and all.

 

[Norris IV]

You jus have o keep going, just think each no you get brings you closer to a yes if you understand what i mean (not as in sex btw)

 

[let's rock]

Just get to know her better, she said it was too soon, just wait, you're time will come, truse me, went through exactly the same thing myself

 

[Dr. Danger]

My suggestion is to lower your expectations. Maybe you're thinking too far ahead into everything life throws at you. There are going to be some hiccups along the way and just try to slow down. If you only recently got her number, it probably is too soon and she is uncomfortable going out with you until she gets to know you better.

 

[Blastinburn]

WAIT!
Did she really say she would like to go see a movie with you and some friends, then when you asked what movie, she told you it was too soon, or am I just reading this wrong!? If I read this right then you didn't make any mistake and she just played a cruel trick on you.

Eat some ice cream, rent a peaceful/funny movie (I recommend the Marx Brothers), and take a nap. Not everyone out there in the world is cruel, the escapist has shown me this.
There's someone out there who will give you a chance and not break your heart as a joke.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

WAIT!
Did she really say she would like to go see a movie with you and some friends, then when you asked what movie, she told you it was too soon, or am I just reading this wrong!? If I read this right then you didn't make any mistake and she just played a cruel trick on you.

Eat some ice cream, rent a peaceful/funny movie (I recommend the Marx Brothers), and take a nap. Not everyone out there in the world is cruel, the escapist has shown me this.
There's someone out there who will give you a chance and not break your heart as a joke.

I don't think she did it as a joke, but out of confusion. she seems to have mixed feelings towards me- between actually liking me and wanting to be just friends, and it might have been because of her parents, they are extreamly protective, is what all of her friends say, and actually caused her to be dumped a few times before. I guess maybe I'll just get to know her, what's the worst to come out of just being friends?

 

[Mischa87]

That's looking much better than your first post. My suggestion is to chill, and take things slow, you're not going to gain anything by over-reacting. People are complex creatures, to make assumptions based off of behavior (particularly with something this emotionally charged) Is more than a little foolhardy. You're now talking about some potentially concrete reasons for this, which is a bi move in the right direction, keep it up.

 

[RicoGrey]

I...
I feel like so much shit- I don't even want to type right now.
This thread is emotional, to me atleast, and if you don't feel like reading it, I recomend not.

So recently I got this girls number, I really like her and everything, and I asked her if she wanted to see a movie with me and some friends. she said that she would like to. So today I asked her what movie she would like to see...
And...
Fuck, I don't feel like typing this, but I guess it's for the better.

She said that... fuck... she said that it was too soon to go out, even as just friends. she said I seemed like a nice guy and all...

What I don't get is why do I keep making the same fucking mistake!?!?!?!?!? WHY???

I'm fucking tired of this! I'm tired of living, just to be brought up and fall with nothing to catch.
It's a cycle of shit, and I want out of it!
It always goes like this, I was the happiest I have been in years when I met her, and now I feel worse than ever before. If life is like this, I don't get why we choose to live it!?!?!

I just don't know what to do... I never know what to do... But I'm just tired of faulting again and again.

someone please just tell me what to do. How do you survive tough situations?

You are desperate, your whole post screams desperate. I have never ever felt that way towards life or relationships or even another woman, and I am married with 2 kids.

If my wife left me, I do think I would be devastated, but I would get back up fairly quickly(probably a few months) and start dating again.



ALSO, you said "Why do I keep making this mistake" or something like that. I fail to see what mistake you made. You asked a girl out, and she rejected you. Not really a mistake, unless she was an obvious lesbian, and you simply made the mistake of not realizing it.

Aside from that, the only actual mistake that I can see that you might have made, is putting too much emphasis on a relationship that did not actually even get started.

This feels like the equivalent of you getting all bummed out over losing 5 dollars. Yeah, even losing a single quarter sucks, but its not something to dwell on more than a few seconds, before you move on.

On the bright side though, it sounds as if you are at least able to ask girls out. That was the hardest part for me when I was growing up. If I managed to work up the courage to ask a girl out, and she rejected me, I was always fine and OK with it, but holy hell just asking her out was super hard for some reason.

Wish I had some real advice or something to help cheer you up. Except, well it is always a good idea to work on yourself. Rather than focus on your love life, maybe focus on getting in shape, and saving up money, or school/work(or get into school/a job if you have not already).

 

[Stilkon]

After having gone through my fair share of rejections, I can say you just need to have patience. I'm currently dating a girl who at one point in the past said that "we could still be friends". I was discouraged, but after talking to my friends about it, I decided to wait, be patient, and be supportive of her. So now I'm with her, and I'm happy. And mind you, this came after about a half a dozen rejections from other girls.

Patience is the key to many things.

 

[Neverhoodian]

someone please just tell me what to do. How do you survive tough situations?

I will now direct you to the wise words of Dori:
Take things one day at a time. Don't panic about the long-term or try to rush things. Just act normal. Remember that over half of the nearly 7 billion people on earth are female. With numbers like that, chances are very high you'll find that special someone.

 

[Xifel]

I...
I feel like so much shit- I don't even want to type right now.
This thread is emotional, to me atleast, and if you don't feel like reading it, I recomend not.

So recently I got this girls number, I really like her and everything, and I asked her if she wanted to see a movie with me and some friends. she said that she would like to. So today I asked her what movie she would like to see...
And...
Fuck, I don't feel like typing this, but I guess it's for the better.

She said that... fuck... she said that it was too soon to go out, even as just friends. she said I seemed like a nice guy and all...

What I don't get is why do I keep making the same fucking mistake!?!?!?!?!? WHY???

I'm fucking tired of this! I'm tired of living, just to be brought up and fall with nothing to catch.
It's a cycle of shit, and I want out of it!
It always goes like this, I was the happiest I have been in years when I met her, and now I feel worse than ever before. If life is like this, I don't get why we choose to live it!?!?!

I just don't know what to do... I never know what to do... But I'm just tired of faulting again and again.

someone please just tell me what to do. How do you survive tough situations?

You are desperate, your whole post screams desperate. I have never ever felt that way towards life or relationships or even another woman, and I am married with 2 kids.

If my wife left me, I do think I would be devastated, but I would get back up fairly quickly(probably a few months) and start dating again.



ALSO, you said "Why do I keep making this mistake" or something like that. I fail to see what mistake you made. You asked a girl out, and she rejected you. Not really a mistake, unless she was an obvious lesbian, and you simply made the mistake of not realizing it.

Aside from that, the only actual mistake that I can see that you might have made, is putting too much emphasis on a relationship that did not actually even get started.

This feels like the equivalent of you getting all bummed out over losing 5 dollars. Yeah, even losing a single quarter sucks, but its not something to dwell on more than a few seconds, before you move on.

On the bright side though, it sounds as if you are at least able to ask girls out. That was the hardest part for me when I was growing up. If I managed to work up the courage to ask a girl out, and she rejected me, I was always fine and OK with it, but holy hell just asking her out was super hard for some reason.

Wish I had some real advice or something to help cheer you up. Except, well it is always a good idea to work on yourself. Rather than focus on your love life, maybe focus on getting in shape, and saving up money, or school/work(or get into school/a job if you have not already).

Everything this guy says. Also, try to figure out who you are. It hard to change who you are, but it is a little easier to get to know yourself. And it will be a lot easier for girls to be attracted to you if you are confident about who you are.

Cool down, enjoy the things you enjoy and good things will come to you...

 

[Pappytech]

I guess maybe I'll just get to know her, what's the worst to come out of just being friends?

Exactly! It's never fun to get your hopes crushed; I know how you feel. But, at the same time, it doesn't sound like you've hit a dead end with this girl. Take it slow, build a relationship up as friends, and then make it something more when you're both ready.

Life isn't all disappointment; hold on and some good moments will come your way.

 

[Whateveralot]

I will tell you a funny story of how I once met a girl.

I saw her the first time; was amazed. Realised she was well out of my league, she was taller than me, seemed very confident and pretty much unreachable. This was at job placement / internship btw, she was another intern stationed in another departement. From that moment, she remained a mystery. We never talked, during breaks she'd be the one to go home. Hardly seen her, hardly talked. For month's i'd be gathering courage to talk to her, but I couldn't. I didn't. I gave up without trying.

Then suddenly, she sent me an e-mail, asking me something. A month later, still hardly talking, we mailed back and forth daily, soon exchanging phone numbers, etc. Eventually, I asked her out. She turned me down, she was already dating someone else. Expected as much.

Eventually however, she'd tell me she wasn't dating the other guy any more. And even though I was increadibly nervous to, I still asked her out.

What did this teach me? Persistance. Don't give up when you feel like it's worth it. Remember to recognize when it's just not worth it. When it is, though. hang on and hang on tight. It's a bumpy ride.

 

[Erana]

Stop judging your worth on whether you got a girlfriend or not maybe? There's more to life than that.

This.

And if getting turned down for a date is your biggest life problem, then you need to stop and realize all you have to be thankful for- health, family, financial security...
I know you probably feel crummy, but you're also probably a teenager, from the sounds of it. Don't underestimate how much crazy teenage hormones can mess with your head and your feelings.

Happiness doesn't just magically occur when you get a girlfriend. Its something you need to find within yourself.

 

[Whateveralot]

Oh and one more thing. I once had a girl say the same thing. Not everyone likes to date straight away, she might be really shy. Give her time.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Oh and one more thing. I once had a girl say the same thing. Not everyone likes to date straight away, she might be really shy. Give her time.

It wasn't a date, We were just going to hang out, just as friends... which it doesn't make sense why she would accept and then reject me...
But in my life, everything manages to find a way to go wrong.

 

[Dr. Danger]

Oh and one more thing. I once had a girl say the same thing. Not everyone likes to date straight away, she might be really shy. Give her time.

It wasn't a date, We were just going to hang out, just as friends... which it doesn't make sense why she would accept and then reject me...
But in my life, everything manages to find a way to go wrong.

People's minds are in a constant state of flux. If she's uncertain of if it's considered a "date" or not could be another factor. Or maybe things came up.

I don't know if you know this, but some people are unreliable. They can also get a little flaky. I know this because I am one of those people. I couldn't count the number of times I have agreed to do something with someone then backed out because I wasn't feeling it anymore.

If she comes around, she comes around. If she doesn't, life goes on.

 

[Whateveralot]

Oh and one more thing. I once had a girl say the same thing. Not everyone likes to date straight away, she might be really shy. Give her time.

It wasn't a date, We were just going to hang out, just as friends... which it doesn't make sense why she would accept and then reject me...
But in my life, everything manages to find a way to go wrong.

That's really strange. How do you communicate now then btw? Over the internet?

She might as well have interpreted it wrong. It does sound a bit cheesy (it always does when there's 2 people of the opposite gender involved).