I'm 22 years old now, and I have three more quarters of community college (winter, spring, summer) if all goes as planned. That means I've taken four years as opposed to two or three years that most people take to transfer (I've met one person who transferred half a year early). I don't mind that I'm taking four years, but everyone keeps telling me to hurry up. Why? I'm very physically fit and hardly get sick, so I'll be one of the oldest beings I've come across my entire life (implying that the vast majority of people I've met live very unhealthy lives). I'm not sure why getting my degree on time will make any difference to my life. My UC TAG got accepted for UC Santa Cruz, so I will be attempting to get my bachelor's degree in computer science there.
I understand that my time management skills suck major arse and that my sporadic sleep schedule gets in the way of focusing in class. I've been trying to fix my sleep schedule to a more consistent one. I've taken over-the-counter sleeping aids and ambien, but it only makes matters worse by keeping me groggy all day. My time management on the other hand is more of a self-discipline issue.
There are those lame excuses, followed by my irrational mother. She won't allow me to take naps during the day (because that's what losers and lowlives do, though I am probably either one of the two) and makes life stressful for my father, younger brother, and myself by going batshit insane over small things. My brother is 16, but he has the worst acne I have ever seen (it doesn't help that he's in high school with people commenting on his acne all day), and oral medication is not stopping it either. I believe that it's from all the stress that our mother is causing all of us (my father's hair is starting to grow white ever since the economy went bad and was very close to losing his job). Both my brother and I realize that my mother wants us to go to college, only because she's ashamed of herself for having two academically unsuccessful sons during her annoying housewife chats. She forced me to go to Saturday school where I was bullied constantly, yet severely punished for defending myself by both the bullies and authoritative figures. She forced my brother to play the violin, as she was jealous of her friend's son being able to play it so well (seriously, he played some crazy shit at the age of 7).
I received a lot of flak at my last internship. At the time I was going to school full time and was also preparing to compete in amateur boxing (which I failed to do, as I have way too much muscle mass from track & field). Getting 8 hours of sleep was hard, so I fell asleep on my laptop often. I also didn't have a lot of time to complete assignments, so I kept getting asked "Do you REALLY want to become a developer? You don't seem motivated at all." The general consensus is that software developers lose a lot of sleep, which sucks more for me as an athlete. Plus, web development is really boring, IMHO.
I had to quit boxing ($70/month can get expensive...) as UC tuitions are going up, and my father can pay no more than two years worth of tuition. I need to go find a job to pay for my housing, so I'm attempting to study for a CompTIA A+ Certification exam, but my motivation has stooped to an all-time low. I dropped both my calculus and physics classes. I feel like a failure, and my mother helps affirm that situation. Perhaps I don't feel like trying anymore due to the fear of failure. I'm currently going to inexpensive mental therapy sessions, which is at least helping some of my symptoms with possible depression.
TL;DR, I need to find motivation to help me get my bachelor's in computer science. I feel like a failure. I don't have anyone to turn to for advice.
I understand that my time management skills suck major arse and that my sporadic sleep schedule gets in the way of focusing in class. I've been trying to fix my sleep schedule to a more consistent one. I've taken over-the-counter sleeping aids and ambien, but it only makes matters worse by keeping me groggy all day. My time management on the other hand is more of a self-discipline issue.
There are those lame excuses, followed by my irrational mother. She won't allow me to take naps during the day (because that's what losers and lowlives do, though I am probably either one of the two) and makes life stressful for my father, younger brother, and myself by going batshit insane over small things. My brother is 16, but he has the worst acne I have ever seen (it doesn't help that he's in high school with people commenting on his acne all day), and oral medication is not stopping it either. I believe that it's from all the stress that our mother is causing all of us (my father's hair is starting to grow white ever since the economy went bad and was very close to losing his job). Both my brother and I realize that my mother wants us to go to college, only because she's ashamed of herself for having two academically unsuccessful sons during her annoying housewife chats. She forced me to go to Saturday school where I was bullied constantly, yet severely punished for defending myself by both the bullies and authoritative figures. She forced my brother to play the violin, as she was jealous of her friend's son being able to play it so well (seriously, he played some crazy shit at the age of 7).
I received a lot of flak at my last internship. At the time I was going to school full time and was also preparing to compete in amateur boxing (which I failed to do, as I have way too much muscle mass from track & field). Getting 8 hours of sleep was hard, so I fell asleep on my laptop often. I also didn't have a lot of time to complete assignments, so I kept getting asked "Do you REALLY want to become a developer? You don't seem motivated at all." The general consensus is that software developers lose a lot of sleep, which sucks more for me as an athlete. Plus, web development is really boring, IMHO.
I had to quit boxing ($70/month can get expensive...) as UC tuitions are going up, and my father can pay no more than two years worth of tuition. I need to go find a job to pay for my housing, so I'm attempting to study for a CompTIA A+ Certification exam, but my motivation has stooped to an all-time low. I dropped both my calculus and physics classes. I feel like a failure, and my mother helps affirm that situation. Perhaps I don't feel like trying anymore due to the fear of failure. I'm currently going to inexpensive mental therapy sessions, which is at least helping some of my symptoms with possible depression.
TL;DR, I need to find motivation to help me get my bachelor's in computer science. I feel like a failure. I don't have anyone to turn to for advice.
