I'm the Star Child, and this is my favourite spot on the Citadel. No, seriously. I've been here for countless millenia waiting for reasons so inane and self-defeatist they would utterly ruin an otherwise brilliant sci-fi space opera triology.
"Hello and welcome to the Human Alliance News Networks top rated radio show: 'Working Lunch'. Today we have an interview with Harbinger, who after the assimilation of all life into Synthetic hybrids, has been getting to grips with civilian life. Harbinger, tell us about your new job?"
"Certainly Ms Allers, but first can I just say a big thank you for letting me come on the show. I am sure you got this radio job by pure artistic merit for your brilliant voice acting capabilities and the fact that you work for one of the largest videogame reviewing sites will not affect their objectivity in the review of the final product in any way..."
"I'm sorry, videogame... product? you kind of lost me there"
"Oh sorry, we Reapers just work under an understanding of our universe that you mortals can not even begin to comprehend, you see, we have gained enlightenment that the very nature of this universe we live in is a virtual, artificially constructed dreamworld created for the soul purpose of monetary gain and sold as a recreational device. Our understanding has surpassed that literary device noted for creating genre savvy characters since the beginning of storytelling, namely the forth wall..."
"Nope, you've lost me again. I don't want to hear about building contracts, tell me about your new job working with endangered animal species"
"Certainly. I am now the overseer of all the species listed as 'endangered' on the planet you call Earth. It is my job to help these threatened species survive and repopulate"
"Fasinating, and do you have any plans to do that yet?"
"Yes. Since clearly none of these animals will ever survive on their own our first course of action is to collect up every single animal on our list. We will then turn their bodies into a biotic paste, spoon them into metal exoskeletons and they will become huge, singular, immortal husks"
"That's... horrible, and stupid. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You can't honestly think that it makes any sense to do that. We've brought animals back from extinction before. I can list several off-hand personal experiences I have recently had that completely invalidate that viewpoint, what imbicile thought that was clever?"
"Well, I would say my scriptwriter, of course, but you wouldn't know who that is; retention of the forth wall and all that, so let's say... a child. There's an incredibly advanced AI child in the citadel who controls all us Reapers and he came up with all this and has the magic space powers to stop it all in three equally weird ways that all have the same result."
"..."
"The result is that everyone in the universe dies horribly"
"Even with all your apparent superior intellect and reasoning you cannot comprehend just how much I loathe you right now"
"I think I can [http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=12&ved=0CIgBEBYwCw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gamefront.com%2Fmass-effect-3-ending-hatred-5-reasons-the-fans-are-right%2F&ei=UNd8T8iUEoXG0QX66sypDQ&usg=AFQjCNF-F1VrsE9PTkkhLY3Br93jPefyHA&sig2=MOVhcdT_tpet_e6lb97Fvg]"