laughing on live

[redstar alpha]

i was lookng at the thread about how people have been insulted in the past and i was wondering what peoples favourite comebacks where.
here is my favourite

when a littel kid with a high pitched vioce is trying to rip you just wait for them to finshe the latestinsult and the say nice and calmly "that may be so. but at least my balls have dropped" works like a charm

 

[jim_doki]

I start by telling them to calm down, and picking a girls name for them:
"Simmer down there shirley"
I follow that with a doubleslap backhanded compliment
"it was impressive the way you blew a casual noob with no skills like me to pieces"
and then i remind them it's just a game and i have better things to do
"but would you look at the time, i have to go to my job and make love to my hot girlfriend in the other room"

there is nothing that they can respond to that with
i apologise for the grammatical errors in the above statement

 

[redstar alpha]

I start by telling them to calm down, and picking a girls name for them:
"Simmer down there shirley"
I follow that with a doubleslap backhanded compliment
"it was impressive the way you blew a casual noob with no skills like me to pieces"
and then i remind them it's just a game and i have better things to do
"but would you look at the time, i have to go to my job and make love to my hot girlfriend in the other room"

there is nothing that they can respond to that with
i apologise for the grammatical errors in the above statement

i like the scrubs refrence and the i also enjoy making fun of the fact i have a life *he said as he sat at his computer in his underware* with things like "sorry i got to go that booze cruise aint going without me" or if i am feeling childish "got to go now, dem bitches aint gona screw them selfs"

 

[stompy]

"got to go now, dem bitches aint gona screw them selfs"

No. I do though.

Heh, with that aside, I suppose the best comeback I've ever said (which isn't very good, as I don't play online very much) is when this guy on Halo PC said "stompy, ur such a noob, cant get a kill without nades". I smirked, and responded "im srry, ill play easy on u, since u seem to like to *****"

Not so great, but shut him up.

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

What I like to do sometimes is say "Mic. Check, Mic. Check...*looks at scoreboard and picks a random user name*

Me: [user] can you hear me?

[User]: Umm..yeah...I can hear you...

Me: Oh ok Good...**** YOU!!!

Always catches them off guard, hilarity guaranteed!

-------
This was my favorite though.

*someone sprays and prays with P90 or something, yes, I'm talking about CoD4*

"Aww you stupid spraying asshole!"

"You can get Immodium AD or Pepto Bismol to stop that"

Epic win!

 

[The Franco]

No one has ever said this on live, but it's an old one from PA:
"Mexican Jew Lizard"

Whenever kids keep using the same curse words over and over again, like they just learned them and want to practice how to use them, I always say:
"So what did you get on your SAT's?"

But the thing that always catches people off guard is when someone is talking trash in a lobby I have to say something like this:
Kid: "Oh *****, we're gonna kick yo [sic] ass!"
Me: "Well, of course. It's not hard, we suck."

 

[Jumplion]

When someone's acting retarted, i state with my low-LOW-voice "C'mon man, it's been a long day, my girlfriend wants sex, and you just won't shut up. Show some respect for your elders, man" even though, ironically, i'm not an elder.

And when i mean my voice is deep/low, i'm talking Tay Zonday low. Seriously, maybe a little higher pitched than him.

 

[redstar alpha]

Then there's the most fun. Just shout a song you know really loud over the headset. Eventually they burst into tears because they can?t get a word in, fucking attention whores.

yeah i do that alot, but i usally pick a song that is poupluer at that moment at sing it but with all the wrong words, one kid actually started singing it him self over me with the right words so then i just cracked a littel gay joke about the village people and that shuts them up.

note: i am not a homophobe bt since so many people seem to be then it is always a good way to burn them.

 

[Parallel Streaks]

Well, on the rare occasion I show my nerdy voice on Counter-Strike I usually manage to drown them with big words until they go and cry into a dictionary, desperately trying to figure out what the hell I said. By the time they work out it was gibberish I'm long gone with a changed username and a totally new spray-tag. But one of my most spectacular victories was when I was confronted by this newb, who literally said on voice-chat "Wow dude, you suck donkey balls, you're never gonna get anywhere in life" And of course I replied, "You're right, at my last job application they asked me 'How well do you teabag pixilated characters?' and I had to reply with 'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid I have never dunked my pixilated ball sack into another?s mouth in a flagrant display of homosexuality'" It was quite funny, the way he says, in his high-pitched and cracking voice "I'm not gay!! I have over 40 playboy magazines!!" to which I replied, "Over-compensation much?" He left, saying "I gotta life dude, I don't need you, asshole!" two minutes later I saw him on a different server tea-bagging someone a little too enthusiastically.

 

[mr mcshiznit]

how bout just let them keep talking nothing is funnyer than the silence they get treated to when no 1 finds them funny and all they do is keep dieing b/c they are crazy frustr8ed

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Then there's the most fun. Just shout a song you know really loud over the headset. Eventually they burst into tears because they can?t get a word in, fucking attention whores.

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROU-*gets muted*

(if they burst into tears because they are too dumb to mute someone, something is wrong..)

 

[x434343]

Whenever a kid comes onto the Zombie Survival mode in Garry's Mod, I say to the mature people, "Let's scar them by yelling obsceinities!" Usually keeps them shut.

 

[Fire Daemon]

Me: Oh ok Good...**** YOU!!!

So you randomly swear/scream at people.

I'm not sure if I like you.

Back on topic: I'm usually quite but when a 12 year old does come in to a game and tries to piss people off I ask him "where is your mum" but before he can reply I say "SHE'S ON MY LAP OHHHH BURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!". Whenever they try and talk again me, my buddies and people I don't know yell "burn". They soon leave.

This is an extreme and I've only had to do it twice.

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Me: Oh ok Good...**** YOU!!!

So you randomly swear/scream at people.

I'm not sure if I like you.

Lol, I don't blame you, but, I've only tried it once, and ya know, there isn't really a need to do it again, but the main point is to catch them completely off guard, and the reactions are priceless. Really, I intend no harm!

 

[Fire Daemon]

Me: Oh ok Good...**** YOU!!!

So you randomly swear/scream at people.

I'm not sure if I like you.

Lol, I don't blame you, but, I've only tried it once, and ya know, there isn't really a need to do it again, but the main point is to catch them completely off guard, and the reactions are priceless. Really, I intend no harm!

I do stuff like that with people I know but doing annoying stuff to people who don't know you is a nice way to make enemies.