Laws you'd make

[SenseOfTumour]

I'm not sure how I'd do it, maybe have an AI, like those japanese virtual girls, but a virtual 'boring old man'. Anyway, I'd have all political statements from any party read out by one of those, and restrict to a minimum any publicity about politicians.

The statement would be read out by the AI, stating it was from, for instance, Minister for Health, Democrats.

I would bring this in, to stop the, (imo) fuckwitted idea of voting for someone because you like their voice or name or the fact that they're a bumbling idiot with funny hair, I'm looking at the Mayor of London here, and trying to push people into voting for a PARTY, not a person.

Just look at the last US election, there question was hardly ever 'Will you vote Democrat or Republican?' It was all about will you vote for Obama, he's black and maybe a muslim and maybe not even american, etc.

There's the problem that politicians won't be as exposed to the public eye, but so long as people are allowed to report on relevant scandals, (fucking someone or getting a new haircut is NOT newsworthy, unless you're Minister for marriage or haircuts.), we should be fine.

 

[SovietSecrets]

No nurses over 30 and all nurses are required to be female now.

 

[tkioz]

*All lawyers are appointed by the government, not hired individually by the plaintiff or defendant. (The problem is, the legal system is for sale right now. The side with the most money is the side with the best chance at winning. These first three laws would aim to change that.)

Don't you think that would de-incentivise people from becoming lawyers, or working hard on the cases they get? Then again, you could just make laws requiring hard work

Actually you're right, but you're also wrong. It would reduce the number of lawyers entering the system, or rather the type currently entering the system. If you made legal study free based on the condition of state employment you'd attract the right kind of lawyer. The ones that aren't in it for the money (like 90% of the ones now) but rather because they actually believe in the justice system.

Those men and women, the ones who truly believe in the system and want to make it work, need to be rewarded and the scum out for a quick buck need to be kicked out.

Side note. I'd make all socially beneficial government jobs high paying; Police (known fact, well paid cops are less likely to take a kick back), Firemen, Ambos, Doctors, Nurses (especially nurses, paid at least 75% of what a Doctor earns, not the piss poor amount they get now), Garbage men (seriously crappy job that needs to be done), Soldiers (well paid soldiers = less mercs running around blowing shit up), Teachers, etc.

Though on the case of Teachers I'd end all forms of tenure and mandate unbiased teaching, I had some seriously horrible history teachers that injected their own political beliefs into the lessons, and don't even get me started on the biology teacher I had in year 8...

 

[Yokai]

I'd rewrite the rights corporate entities currently have and impose regular government checks on the larger ones. The amount of absolutely horrible things that CEOs do indirectly on a daily basis in the current system is mind-boggling.

I'd also ban cheap products that waste resources without actually contributing anything useful, like fast food toys and tabloids. I'd give tax cuts to companies that made affordable products that were designed to last as long as physically possible. In a perfect world, computers, cell phones and consumer electronics in general would last longer than a decade on average without noticeable drops in performance. The same would be true of cars, furniture, appliances, etc.

Basically I'd do away with capitalism as we know it. At this rate, it's only a matter of time before things go the way of Transmetropolitan.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Oh, and the Census form we just filled in, how about letting us keep a digital copy, by emailing us one, and a code number.

Next time we have a tax or benefit form to fill out, we can just quote our code number and skip 90% of the form because the government already asked us all this shit.

(seriously, how many times did that form ask me for my name and address, despite having a unique ID code on the form, and being mailed to me at my home) 'is this you YES/NO' would have covered it.

If we're gonna harrass fat people, we need to also stop thinking getting drunk and ending up annoying the police/ambulance/hospital staff is somehow a great way to spend Friday night. It's a shame that drinking is more socially acceptable than a cheeseburger now, despite me never wanting to punch someone in the face or piss openly in the street after having a donut.

Oh, and human rights trump religious rights, every time. We're all human, we're not all religious.

I'll be unpopular, but I'd go as far as agreeing with France about the Burka, the hijab covers the hair and most of the head, and I have no problem at all with modesty, however, a full burka reduces someone to a pair of eyes and creates a barrier between people.

With the hijab, the face is mostly visible, and then I could bring in a ban on all full face coverings and we can nail the fuckers who ruin protests by coming along just to smash stuff and be a dick, without people wailing that 'the muslims get to wear theirs, why can't I wear a balaclava while I'm smashing shop windows?'

 

[SinisterGehe]

I would ban all common mind altering substances, Alcohol, tobacco, weed, illegal drugs (Would be listed below if it would be a law). Expect medical prescriptions that are for treatment of medical condition.

I know, I'm sort of a absolutist. But what can you do, I am just as crazy as anyone of you* (*excluding few whackjobs I know)

 

[The Seldom Seen Kid]

No stupidity, unless it leads to possibly humorous outcomes (e.g.: everything on failblog).

All lack of common sense will be met with a glove slap and a disapproving tssk.

 

[tkioz]

Hmmm mandated common courtesy.
Things like saying "please" and "thank you" to waiters, saying "sorry" when you bump into someone, hold the door open for people behind you, help people when they drop crap. Stuff like that.
Punishment? Flogging. 5 lashes for the first offence, going up 5 to a max of 25 for each following offence.

Seriously people are RUDE now days.

Oh and side rule, no bitching when people show you courtesy. If I call you "sir" or "Ma'am" I'm not saying your old, I'm showing you respect you dumb twat.

 

[TheRocketeer]

Repeal the XXVIth Amendment, or at least add a provision to it for the modern era.

The amendment made sense in its era; its only natural that if you had been compelled to go to war for your country, you should be entitled to some say in that policy and others. But for the past forty years all it's done is create and preserve a voting bloc that will just vote for whomever promises most strongly to legalize recreational drugs.

 

[WolfEdge]

I'd hire a personal group and make their job solely to slap stupid people across the nation.
If they think you did something stupid, they can slap you.

Also, Bacon is now the new national food, and must be consumed at least once a week. No exceptions.

What about people with religious and medical issues regarding the consumption of bacon?
You'd be overthrown within the week.

Then I enforce this law with an iron grip of power and slowly turn into an insane dictator that seeks nothing but upholding the almighty power of the glorious bacon, brutally crushing any opposition to my bacon supporting endeavors.

But, and forgive me my Lord Bacon for speaking out of turn, how would you enforce such a grip, when your hands are covered in the grease of the bacon you love so much?

It is... impossible!

 

[Lazier Than Thou]

1. All men are created equal. The government may not treat anyone of any race, sex, or creed any different from any other. Anyone found doing so will be immediately put to death following a trial. This deals with "positive" and negative discrimination.

2. Anyone that complains that I put "men" in the first law will be immediately put to death with no trial.

3. School has been shortened to one year and only three subjects are taught: Reading and writing in American English, Math, and a basic course on the laws of the land(both state and federal).