LEGO Universe Development Was Plagued By Penis Prevention Problems

Conrad Zimmerman

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LEGO Universe Development Was Plagued By Penis Prevention Problems

Moderation team made to look at every creation to confirm their cleanliness.

Do you remember LEGO Universe? The short-lived massively multiplayer online game based on everybody's favorite building block barely got a chance, lasting just over a year in open release before shutting down in January of 2012. New tweets from a developer who worked on the project have provided some insight into one factor which may have contributed to its quick closure: the cost of keeping player prepared penises out of the world.

According to Megan Fox, who served as a senior programmer on LEGO Universe (first at co-developer NetDevil and later with LEGO Group itself), the development team was tasked with making "dong detection software" to prevent players from doing the first thing many do when faced with an user-generated content opportunity. Fox called the effort, "utterly impossible on any scale.

"Players would hide the dongs where the filtering couldn't see, or make them only visible from one angle / make multi-part penis sculptures. They actually had a huge moderation team that got a bunch of screenshots of every model, every property. YOU could build whatever you wanted, but strangers could never see your builds until we'd had the team do a penis sweep on it," Fox continued, noting that the expense of keeping the game squeaky clean was a major concern.

"It was all automated, but the human moderators were [if I recall correctly] the single biggest cost center for LEGO Universe's operational costs."

So, if preventing the very existence of wangs is a futile, cost-prohibitive endeavor, why bother trying to stop them at all? Fox points to LEGO's reputation among consumers:

"LEGO's brand is utterly trusted by parents. We had to uphold that trust. Which meant zero tolerance."

The comments come at a time when it appears that LEGO may take another crack at the MMO market. Advertisements for an as-yet unannounced game, titled LEGO Worlds, have started to appear in the instructions included with new building sets (notably, the "City Square" set released late last month). According to the ad, the game is in development with long-time LEGO partner Traveller's Tales.

Sources: Eurobricks [http://www.exquisitetweets.com/tweets?eids=SOlZp2L8I8.SOl4CsO6YC.SOmhNAiuES.SOmlJ2T2Gq.SOmpjeGn1w.SOmwta15gX.SOmB4207kO.SOmJPgkOFU.SOmOl1j08a.SOmW0jPTRA.SOm72fKFfE.SOncwNl2SP.SOnlkgH05k.SOntnuAhGw.SOq]

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Exterminas

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Sep 22, 2009
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Calling it now: They are not going to make it.

It just doesn't seem feasible to create a piece of software that can detect every possible shape to depict a penis from every possible angle of a lego construction.
 

-Dragmire-

King over my mind
Mar 29, 2011
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Should have used a different word for penis at every opportunity. I was thinking of the Monty Python Penis Song as I read this.

...

Wait, Megan Fox can program!? Oh, not that one. Never mind.
 

meiam

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Dec 9, 2010
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What an utter waste of time. This game was an mmo, to play an mmo you need an internet connection. What's on the internet? That's right lots and lots of dong.

Beside half the reason people put up dick in every construction game is because it's so heavily moderated. If you stop moderating it, it stop being fun for a lot of them and they'll move on.
 

subskipper

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Our kids can't see Lego dongs or did I completely misunderstand the article? Worst thing that could happen would be hearing my son giggling like a mad man or evil overlord when building or viewing one. Are we that sensitive?
 

Conrad Zimmerman

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subskipper said:
Our kids can't see Lego dongs or did I completely misunderstand the article? ... Are we that sensitive?
Some people are that sensitive, for sure. Far be it for me to tell other people how they should raise their kids, or how developers seek to meet the concerns of parents. Even though I'm comfortable with the idea of an organ possessed by roughly half of the dominant species on the planet being seen by a child of mine, I can respect the wishes of others who may have a different idea of what they want their children exposed to. It's unfortunate that it wound up a barrier for the game, but them's the breaks, I guess.
 

Alcom1

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Reminds me of how one of my friends made a great recreation of Game & Watch Fire on a LEGO Universe property. He scripted a numerical scoring system (rather difficult considering how crude LU's behavior scripts were), and the property was blocked by moderators because it had numbers on it, the reason being that numbers could reveal personal information.

Then again, the LEGO Universe behavior system was an absolute anus stain anyways with all of its broken server side physics.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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How exactly could you make your own secret dong in a lego game? If my lego memory serves me correctly, lego pieces for people do not have any dong connections or parts and even trying to add one somehow would mess up their leg maneuverability.
 

Conrad Zimmerman

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Xsjadoblayde said:
How exactly could you make your own secret dong in a lego game? If my lego memory serves me correctly, lego pieces for people do not have any dong connections or parts and even trying to add one somehow would mess up their leg maneuverability.
Now there's a visual.
 

Janaschi

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Aug 21, 2012
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Meiam said:
What an utter waste of time. This game was an mmo, to play an mmo you need an internet connection. What's on the internet? That's right lots and lots of dong.

Beside half the reason people put up dick in every construction game is because it's so heavily moderated. If you stop moderating it, it stop being fun for a lot of them and they'll move on.
Do you really believe that? You are a better person than I am, as I cannot seem to stir up the same faith.

I know on my old Minecraft server, even I had to clean up penis pixel art from time to time, and we only had 20-30 people on at any one time, and we were all typically over the age of 18.
 

CrystalShadow

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Apr 11, 2009
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Yeah, I can see the problem this could become.

Part of me wants to have a lego game where you can build whatever with no consequence, but part of me knows the child-friendly image lego has will make that impossible.

You can't even hide behind making it adults-only, because it's existence would still have a negative effect on Lego's image, and people would have a hard time taking it seriously anyway, if you make an 'adults only' Lego game, and assume you're just being weird, calling it that.

Sure there are 16+ recommended age lego sets, but that's largely complexity related, and while it might include some things that would bore kids (such as the architecture series), it doesn't contain anything you'd feel bad about showing a kid...
 

Neurotic Void Melody

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Conrad Zimmerman said:
Xsjadoblayde said:
How exactly could you make your own secret dong in a lego game? If my lego memory serves me correctly, lego pieces for people do not have any dong connections or parts and even trying to add one somehow would mess up their leg maneuverability.
Now there's a visual.
There are always the murky waters of fan art. Oh dear god, no! The brain may have just visualised too much
 

DEAD34345

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Aug 18, 2010
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Sneaking penises past "dong detection software" and moderators sounds like a much more amusing game than some crappy Lego MMO. That's probably their entire problem right there.
 

Luminous_Umbra

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Xsjadoblayde said:
How exactly could you make your own secret dong in a lego game? If my lego memory serves me correctly, lego pieces for people do not have any dong connections or parts and even trying to add one somehow would mess up their leg maneuverability.
Well...in theory, you could probably do something similar to what they did with capes and similar neck things, putting it between the torso piece and the legs.
 

Lucane

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Xsjadoblayde said:
How exactly could you make your own secret dong in a lego game? If my lego memory serves me correctly, lego pieces for people do not have any dong connections or parts and even trying to add one somehow would mess up their leg maneuverability.
Not on the people but Dong like buildings or cars and boats and such...
 

bificommander

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History textbook from 2103:
"The breakthrough in the creation of inteligent, setient AI systems occured during the painstaking research for an automated system that could analyze user-made structures and determine whether they contained any shape that human users could recognize as a penis shape."
 

Flammablezeus

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Let me get this straight, there was a Lego game where we could actually make things out of Lego and it was an MMO?! What on Earth were they thinking? Can't we finally get a single-player/local multi-player Lego game with actual Lego building in it? Think of all of the dong-detection software that wouldn't be necessary at all.