Let's talk about trust...

[karlstech]

Hey there fellow Escapists,

Stumbled upon a website today that sold anxiety help eBooks and though I overcame my anxiety issues a while back, I felt almost compelled to buy a copy due to the convincing sales pitch but refrained myself due to being cheap.

But it got me thinking, I was very close to trusting this person by purchasing his product, even though I've never heard of him before! Which leads me to my question:

What makes you trust someone online? Doesn't matter if it's a salesman, youtuber, forum guest or whatever. What is it that makes you inclined on believing a person on the Internet?

Would love to hear your responses!

Karl

 

[Kopikatsu]

I take what people say about themselves at face value unless I have reason to believe otherwise, or I plan to do something with this person in real life. Then I get skeptical. But otherwise, there's rarely any harm in being trusting provided you aren't looking for advice from this person.

 

[Lucem712]

Usually, blood sacrifices. Preferably? Goats, of course. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/The-Injustice-League]

Joking aside, depends on the level of trust. To share my personal history with people actually takes a-long time. Not sure why, though. Probably some deep seeded trust issue. *shrug*

 

[Pirate Of PC Master race]

Why would you trust anyone, while doubt allows you to take information more objectively?

Like my local librarian once said, "A suspicious mind is a healthy mind".

 

[Grizzly_Bear_1]

The 2 minute rule. If you can't make your point in 2 minutes or less, and start rambling on trying to convince me to change my mind. I don't trust you.

 

[giles]

Does the person have something to gain by deceiving me?
If I can't come up with a good reason for deception ("trolling" is always a possibility, but I haven't given up on humanity enough to think that someone creating a fictional story in their basement just to personally piss me off is a likely scenario) and there is a lack of evidence for deception, then I will tentatively trust them.

However, this does not translate to whatever truth they're trying to convey to me. Trusting a person simply means acknowledging that they think they are talking about the truth. I will still demand that they present actual evidence if the subject is important or interesting to me. This is usually where it falls down, because 99% of people are ready to take something at face value simply after being persuaded. The best that usually happens is that they recall what persuaded them... unfortunately I have higher standards when it comes to truth.

 

[Kae]

I'm a pretty odd person in this regard, I've never really trusted anyone in my entire life, people are unreliable, liars and always looking out for themselves, I can't say I've ever met a person I thought was decent, so idividually no, I don't trust anyone but the thing is I trust myself, I'm kinda great, I go out of my way to help people in exchange of nothing, often losing something in the process[footnote]Money, time, energy, sometimes I get hurt[/footnote], so there must be good people out there since I exist, so while I don't trust anyone because everyone I've ever met[footnote]or at least rememeber[/footnote] is a scumbag but I'm great so I have to give people the benefit of the doubt by assuming they are good because obviously I'm not the only decent person in existence[footnote]To be fair I'm so much better than everyone else I don't consider myself human but something superior, but I'm also aware that I'm kinda dellusional and that this makes no sense, so you know I feel like I'm superior but am aware that I'm not, can't shake the feeling off though, even if I know it's not true nd quite frankly ridiculous and stupid.[/footnote], in any case I don't really trust people but I give them the benefit of the doubt[footnote]After all they are inferior creatures.[/footnote].

Same for stores but I don't really care that much about money, after all I have a really bad habit of giving it away to people I think need it more than me and when I do I spend it on frivoulous things like comics, movies and games instead of food and stuff, because I'm probably not too smart...

 

[Ramzal]

Hey there fellow Escapists,

Stumbled upon a website today that sold anxiety help eBooks and though I overcame my anxiety issues a while back, I felt almost compelled to buy a copy due to the convincing sales pitch but refrained myself due to being cheap.

But it got me thinking, I was very close to trusting this person by purchasing his product, even though I've never heard of him before! Which leads me to my question:

What makes you trust someone online? Doesn't matter if it's a salesman, youtuber, forum guest or whatever. What is it that makes you inclined on believing a person on the Internet?

Would love to hear your responses!

Karl

I'm going to save you a lot of trouble here. Cause this is a hard lesson that I've had to learn so take it or not, that's up to you.

Don't trust more people than you have hands on your body. The moment you do, you will be sorry for it.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Trust randoms I've never met? With a great degree of sceptical plausibility.
I.e. As long as you keep your statements accurate to the topic you are talking about I'll believe you actually know a thing or two, but once you start spouting nonsense I know you are bullshitting.

The other part of course is does your profession pay by bullshit, if yes then all you say is horse hockey to me, and yes I am specifically talking about salesmen, PR people, marketing crap,... so on and so forth.

 

[DementedSheep]

Well I don't really "trust" random people I know nothing about on-line but I don't generally assume everyone is lying because most of the time there is nothing to gain, I don't think most people are lying and really whether they are lying or not isn't all that important. I suppose you might be lying about considering buying an anxiety help book but why would you? and even if you were I lose nothing by taking your word for it. If the persons want to meet in real life then I'll get more paranoid about them lying and if they are selling something I'm not not going to trust their word for it. I need to be able to read parts of books and have video and pictures of other products.

 

[Enamour]

What is it that makes you inclined on believing a person on the Internet? Karl

You need to understand what trust is first.

Trust is the belief that someone is either truthful or genuinely attempting to be truthful with you, in which ever way this trust is realized.

Now, my question to you is, what is anyone in the world's motivation to be truthful to YOU personally? None whatsoever. They don't know you, they don't know that "you" exist, how can the motivation, and thus truthfulness exist? It can't, so it seems that asking "How do I know I can trust a stranger?" is a question that cannot exist in reality.


Truth is recognized.

You can't trust until there's evidence, which is where you started your question. In Zen they say that the truth is recognized, recognition implies a familiar. What is familiar about the truth as we "hear" or absorb it? How can it be familiar if the information/content I'm trusting to be true is completely new information?

If we're alive, then we have experience of the things we've personally encountered and 99% of what we encounter will be in the same neighborhood as the stuff we already know. In other words, new information will mostly fit like a puzzle piece with other information that we have placed in the same neighborhood. We recognize that this "piece of the puzzle" fits here. We recognize the truth.

You can train your recognition, it becomes a skill like every other practiced skill.

"The clouds are neon pink at midday everyday in my country."

- Do you trust these word? Why? Meditate on it and you will understand yourself.

Basic? Yes. Easy? No.

How can I trust a stranger? I can't, I can only trust my own ability to recognize the truthfulness behind the stranger's actions.

 

[Lieju]

I take what people say about themselves at face value unless I have reason to believe otherwise, or I plan to do something with this person in real life. Then I get skeptical. But otherwise, there's rarely any harm in being trusting provided you aren't looking for advice from this person.

Yeah, this.
Also depends on how extraordinary the claim is and how much it affects me.

For example someone says they're a girl online. Yeah, girls exist, and even if they were lying for whatever reason I don't give a shit.
So might as well just take it on face value.
The same goes for their age, unless I'm sharing porn with them, in which case I want to at least know they aren't children.

But if they claim to be an expert on something or sell something to me, I'm more skeptical.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I trust people on The Escapist with old join-in dates and plenty of posts to their credit. And just about anybody on the LRR website. Lovely people.

 

[The Madman]

I like to remain optimistic when it comes to people I meet and things I read online, but in the end I'm not really sure I'm prepared to truly trust anyone I haven't actually met in person.

Give them the opportunity to prove themselves and appreciate them for when they do, but always be prepared for disappointment as well. That's the nature of anonymity on the internet I figure.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Give them the opportunity to prove themselves and appreciate them for when they do, but always be prepared for disappointment as well. That's the nature of anonymity on the internet I figure.

I think disappointment is key. A person I met here (for example) mailed me a copy of Demon's Souls, simply because she had too many. And I was like, holy fuck, thank you! I wrote her a letter that went unanswered. To her credit I believe she never signed on to The Escapist ever again. Or for that matter there was this big discussion about pen-pallery in the LRR forums and we basically got assigned a pen pal each. Wrote a letter and never even heard of the person, via mail or otherwise.

So I dunno. Honestly, fuck online relationships.

 

[FPLOON]

Trick question for me because the word "trust" is not in my vocabulary...

But seriously, despite being an open book, I do have trusting issues... Basically, by the end of our first encounter, you'll will know me more than I know you... (and, maybe, then some, depending on how much you remember the next time we meet...)

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

Trust is something to earn, but everyone gets the benefit of the doubt with me. Sometimes to my detriment but I like to start off on an even footing with people and allow them just enough rope to hang themselves with.
Doesn't necessarily mean I trust people so much as I don't immediately distrust everyone.
When it comes to the internet, I realize I only know as much as the person online is willing to divulge and that usually isn't enough to gain a sense of who these people really are. I moved to California once and met a bunch of folks (hackers if you're interested) I only knew through IRC at the time. A lot of them were decent enough folk in person, but some of them were horrible evil people who were nothing like the person I knew online. I did have a couple "relationships" that started online but none of them ever worked out to any extent worth a damn.
My point is that until you actually physically meet someone, its damn near hard to garner any real sense of whether or not a person is trustworthy. So be careful what you do or say with people you meet online, you never know what the hell you're going to get.

 

[Something Amyss]

Trust to me is a measured response. I take innocuous or low-rsk claims at face value and determine what credibility is needed based upon how many extra steps are taken.

Want me to believe you ate a sandwich for lunch? Okay, no reason to doubt you. Want me to believe you're a Nigerian Prince? Well...Good luck with that.

When it comes to sellers, I look for people with a history.

The major exception is if I've known someone to lie or otherwise be dishonest. Lie often enough and I won't even believe you had a sandwich for lucnh.

 

[angryscotsman93]

I take what people say about themselves at face value unless I have reason to believe otherwise, or I plan to do something with this person in real life. Then I get skeptical. But otherwise, there's rarely any harm in being trusting provided you aren't looking for advice from this person.

Same here. I'll trust someone online until they do something super sketchy. May be a bit naive, but hell, that's how I'd like people to treat me. A little respect goes a long way.