I've been a visitor of this site for like 3 years now,never bothered to make an account though.Sure I've had a few moments when I wish I couldve posted my opinion on a few funny threads,controversial issues,BUT I was too lazy to go through with it.
Sorry for huge wall of text in advance,just wanted to get this out of my system,it's been bugging me for the whole week.Gonna touch a number of different topics though.
It was at 4 am in the morning,staring at facebook,I go up like once every 2-4 days or whatever, whenever I remember it.Fuck that "last seen" message on chat seriously.This girl wrote to me,my friend's younger sister (~21ish),6-7 hours earlier asked what I was up to like.
What am i supposed to write..."Oh just "wanking" around..."?Becuase I probably have to write something now that she has seen that I've checked the message.Sure wish I could write something remotely exciting though,not to "score" at her,she's just a friend but thats not the point,any other mate couldve asked this question.
The answer is the same every time:
Nothing
QUESTION 1:Anyone else has/had this problem with having no direction in life whatsoever?How did you/planning to deal with it?
(I mean I have short term goals,sure,liek I wanna play Fallout 2,but the fighting system and the graphics I just can't seem to get into!Also I wanna lose weight,should be easy,got a pretty l33t metabolism and I gained muscle easier than most people I've noticed (thanks dad) aaand thats about it...)
TL
R: Story about how I became an admin
I could've gotten top grades in most subjects during high school if I actually bothered to study a tiny bit,but unfortunately WoW came by,almost got kicked out of school during my 2nd year for skipping too much(I was around 16 years old).Had to fabricate my mother's sig to cover em up,she still doesnt know about it till this day,heh.I do regret all that excess time spent on it now,because in retrospect,school couldve been way more productive and fun from both a social and a career viewpoint (*insert oh rly pic*).We didnt have bullying at all or anything(in fact my country's like 5th best in terms of it on the whole world),I had tons of friends,didnt have many problems so it's not like I hated the community there.I simply stayed at home and played wow because it was way easier,I'd have had as much fun in school with mates or even more so but it was a chore to wake up early,dress up and drag my ass to school.
During/after high school, I had no idea what to do with myself in terms of career,so I did what I usually do,ask others and see where most of my friends go to and find the easiest solution.So I ended up being an IT guy,administrator to be precise.It was just a shitty 2 year course with my personal goal of scoring an easy job with nothing to do after the initial networksetup and occasional virushunting.I'm not sure if I could even do that anymore,I finished the course in '10,haven't used my "skills" ever since,I finished with pretty avg grades there too so I probably forgot a lot of stuff already.At first I didnt even bother looking for a job you know,was happy just being free of the burden of getting up early,taking the bus etc.My friends couldnt find work in the first few months,so again I persuaded myself,
"Hey if my friends cant get a job,why should I even bother to search "harder"?".
TLR Had a job for 6 months,description and thoughts on it below
Well,one and a half year has passed,I've been unemployed for x days so therefore I was able to get support from gov.It did feel shit (didnt cry over it or anything though)taking money for doing nothing though,but my parents asked me to do it anyway and I figured at least I can repay them this way by covering at least my expenses for the month or something.Now after the first month of support,I've been offered a job as a kind of mailman by the local gov."hey,its not like they can give me enough letters to distribute throughout the whole month,I'm gonna have shitloads of freetime,could be pretty easy job for now".Now you could say the job description and reality kinda differed,heh.
After one day as a delivery boy,I was asked to help cleaning up the mess that was the local school's new wing which was built like a year before,make preparations for the new entrepeneur to start fixing the building the previous one fucked up (on purpose or not,someone got a nice cash out of it though neverthless).I had to do some heavylifting most of the time(like picking up the concrete pieces theyve drilled through),didnt mind it though,figured I didnt have to pay for gym at least,the theoritical gym I'd never gone to because I was too lazy.I was with a bunch of men with ages ranging from late 30s to late 50s,all unemployed,they didnt have much in terms of qualification,some didnt even finish high school,so yea,entirely diff generation.Later on I was asked to cut grass in local kindergartens and to my demise,pick up street trash thrown by people who were (ironically) too lazy and/or too drunk to get to the next goddamn trashcan.I felt so emberrassed picking up trash,first few times when I was sent alone I tried to skip it or do it when noone was looking.I mean I -picking up dirty trash-,who has an admin qualification (I didnt work much for).I didnt care about the people cleaning the streets before,like at all,they were just doing their job and i was too busy (or lazy?) ignoring the world like a good teenager is supposed to
But this time I felt like people were watching me,judging me,it was especially shitty feeling when I've ran into a group of girls my age on their way to uni or whatever.After a while I've become used to it though,just simply acted like I'm taking a walk as usual.Later on I've managed to get into the local library and helped out there though for the rest of the 6 month period this job was given me for.It ended on august this year.
I've grown to respect people doing these jobs though(I havent looked down upon em,I was just indifferent).It's not easy doing some of these tasks day by day,especially for some as old as 60 just to get by,was a bit shocked to hear some of em didnt even have a tv or had loans up the ass and was on the verge of losing his house.In the end I feel like it was quite good as a life experience.At least I'm sure as hell gonna appreciate jobs more in the future.
With the exception of this 6 month period,I was basically sitting at home and all I did was eating,sleeping,playing games and of course "polishing my spear" (ugh guess I've had too much skyrim recently).Since the end of this august,I've fallen back doing the same thing.
QUESTION 2:How do you fight laziness? The thing is,I procastinate religiously but when it comes to the actual tasks,when I have no other option but to do them,I strive to get them done properly.I figured its up to willpower but I found its kinda easier if someone's there to offer you encouragement...which bring us to the next point
I know how much this forum *LOVES* talking about teen-early 20s love issues but neverthless here we go.
Now,I've talked about some pretty personal stuff with my friends but not "life changing decisions".I feel like I could only talk this through with a girlfriend or rather,only she could provide enough "support" to fight it.First of all,I've never had a gf before.I skipped many parties (not just clubs,I mean simple "gatherings" or w/e,where most of my friends were together) because it was easier to stay at home so like a lot of posters here,I had this awkward phase with girls when I decided to participate in said events,basically I was behind socially by 2-3 years .I feel like I've caught up now though,however (I don't know how to describe it exactly) I have this feeling I just want a gf to make me whole,to fix me.Thing is,my belief on the other hand is that I should only move onto girls when I have a stable life(as in physically(I did gain some weight >_>) and with a job or maybe I could even go to uni,would have to get into a whole different mindset though)
Basically,the person I want as girlfriend should be someone I wanna share my life with and not the fix for the life I want,hope that makes sense. And it wouldnt be fair to burden her with it.(I don't think I'd put much pressure on her anyway,it's more like I just want someone I could talk to about stuff)
Although I've gotta say,I've not once burdened anyone with my problems besides my parents.I love my parents but my family falls into the category which rarely,if ever talks about feelings (I don't mind it),instead its focused on everyday life,health,money problems etc.Truth is I usually only like talking about feelings when theyre someone else's.I just feel a bit awkward when I get into the spotlight.
QUESTION 3o you think it'd be appropriate to try and look for a girl now or if it could work at all?
(Reading all this back though,I feel like I've presented my situation a tad grim,though the reality is not that dark(I hope so),I'm "just" 22 years old,so I guess I still have time to change (hah,see? I'm already procastinating),I'm not depressed, dont have any mental issues or anything (at least that i know of),I think this whole thing maybe comes down to the old coming of age thing and its hurdles and me not being able to "man the fuck up" as the saying goes..
I mean I THINK I'm changing but I'd say its a slow process,at least when I compare myself to my close friends...maybe uni could accelerate it for me also..))
Captcha : live your dream (yea rrrright)
Sorry for huge wall of text in advance,just wanted to get this out of my system,it's been bugging me for the whole week.Gonna touch a number of different topics though.
It was at 4 am in the morning,staring at facebook,I go up like once every 2-4 days or whatever, whenever I remember it.Fuck that "last seen" message on chat seriously.This girl wrote to me,my friend's younger sister (~21ish),6-7 hours earlier asked what I was up to like.
What am i supposed to write..."Oh just "wanking" around..."?Becuase I probably have to write something now that she has seen that I've checked the message.Sure wish I could write something remotely exciting though,not to "score" at her,she's just a friend but thats not the point,any other mate couldve asked this question.
The answer is the same every time:
Nothing
QUESTION 1:Anyone else has/had this problem with having no direction in life whatsoever?How did you/planning to deal with it?
(I mean I have short term goals,sure,liek I wanna play Fallout 2,but the fighting system and the graphics I just can't seem to get into!Also I wanna lose weight,should be easy,got a pretty l33t metabolism and I gained muscle easier than most people I've noticed (thanks dad) aaand thats about it...)
TL
R: Story about how I became an admin I could've gotten top grades in most subjects during high school if I actually bothered to study a tiny bit,but unfortunately WoW came by,almost got kicked out of school during my 2nd year for skipping too much(I was around 16 years old).Had to fabricate my mother's sig to cover em up,she still doesnt know about it till this day,heh.I do regret all that excess time spent on it now,because in retrospect,school couldve been way more productive and fun from both a social and a career viewpoint (*insert oh rly pic*).We didnt have bullying at all or anything(in fact my country's like 5th best in terms of it on the whole world),I had tons of friends,didnt have many problems so it's not like I hated the community there.I simply stayed at home and played wow because it was way easier,I'd have had as much fun in school with mates or even more so but it was a chore to wake up early,dress up and drag my ass to school.
During/after high school, I had no idea what to do with myself in terms of career,so I did what I usually do,ask others and see where most of my friends go to and find the easiest solution.So I ended up being an IT guy,administrator to be precise.It was just a shitty 2 year course with my personal goal of scoring an easy job with nothing to do after the initial networksetup and occasional virushunting.I'm not sure if I could even do that anymore,I finished the course in '10,haven't used my "skills" ever since,I finished with pretty avg grades there too so I probably forgot a lot of stuff already.At first I didnt even bother looking for a job you know,was happy just being free of the burden of getting up early,taking the bus etc.My friends couldnt find work in the first few months,so again I persuaded myself,
"Hey if my friends cant get a job,why should I even bother to search "harder"?".
TL
R Had a job for 6 months,description and thoughts on it belowWell,one and a half year has passed,I've been unemployed for x days so therefore I was able to get support from gov.It did feel shit (didnt cry over it or anything though)taking money for doing nothing though,but my parents asked me to do it anyway and I figured at least I can repay them this way by covering at least my expenses for the month or something.Now after the first month of support,I've been offered a job as a kind of mailman by the local gov."hey,its not like they can give me enough letters to distribute throughout the whole month,I'm gonna have shitloads of freetime,could be pretty easy job for now".Now you could say the job description and reality kinda differed,heh.
After one day as a delivery boy,I was asked to help cleaning up the mess that was the local school's new wing which was built like a year before,make preparations for the new entrepeneur to start fixing the building the previous one fucked up (on purpose or not,someone got a nice cash out of it though neverthless).I had to do some heavylifting most of the time(like picking up the concrete pieces theyve drilled through),didnt mind it though,figured I didnt have to pay for gym at least,the theoritical gym I'd never gone to because I was too lazy.I was with a bunch of men with ages ranging from late 30s to late 50s,all unemployed,they didnt have much in terms of qualification,some didnt even finish high school,so yea,entirely diff generation.Later on I was asked to cut grass in local kindergartens and to my demise,pick up street trash thrown by people who were (ironically) too lazy and/or too drunk to get to the next goddamn trashcan.I felt so emberrassed picking up trash,first few times when I was sent alone I tried to skip it or do it when noone was looking.I mean I -picking up dirty trash-,who has an admin qualification (I didnt work much for).I didnt care about the people cleaning the streets before,like at all,they were just doing their job and i was too busy (or lazy?) ignoring the world like a good teenager is supposed to
But this time I felt like people were watching me,judging me,it was especially shitty feeling when I've ran into a group of girls my age on their way to uni or whatever.After a while I've become used to it though,just simply acted like I'm taking a walk as usual.Later on I've managed to get into the local library and helped out there though for the rest of the 6 month period this job was given me for.It ended on august this year.
I've grown to respect people doing these jobs though(I havent looked down upon em,I was just indifferent).It's not easy doing some of these tasks day by day,especially for some as old as 60 just to get by,was a bit shocked to hear some of em didnt even have a tv or had loans up the ass and was on the verge of losing his house.In the end I feel like it was quite good as a life experience.At least I'm sure as hell gonna appreciate jobs more in the future.
With the exception of this 6 month period,I was basically sitting at home and all I did was eating,sleeping,playing games and of course "polishing my spear" (ugh guess I've had too much skyrim recently).Since the end of this august,I've fallen back doing the same thing.
QUESTION 2:How do you fight laziness? The thing is,I procastinate religiously but when it comes to the actual tasks,when I have no other option but to do them,I strive to get them done properly.I figured its up to willpower but I found its kinda easier if someone's there to offer you encouragement...which bring us to the next point
I know how much this forum *LOVES* talking about teen-early 20s love issues but neverthless here we go.
Now,I've talked about some pretty personal stuff with my friends but not "life changing decisions".I feel like I could only talk this through with a girlfriend or rather,only she could provide enough "support" to fight it.First of all,I've never had a gf before.I skipped many parties (not just clubs,I mean simple "gatherings" or w/e,where most of my friends were together) because it was easier to stay at home so like a lot of posters here,I had this awkward phase with girls when I decided to participate in said events,basically I was behind socially by 2-3 years .I feel like I've caught up now though,however (I don't know how to describe it exactly) I have this feeling I just want a gf to make me whole,to fix me.Thing is,my belief on the other hand is that I should only move onto girls when I have a stable life(as in physically(I did gain some weight >_>) and with a job or maybe I could even go to uni,would have to get into a whole different mindset though)
Basically,the person I want as girlfriend should be someone I wanna share my life with and not the fix for the life I want,hope that makes sense. And it wouldnt be fair to burden her with it.(I don't think I'd put much pressure on her anyway,it's more like I just want someone I could talk to about stuff)
Although I've gotta say,I've not once burdened anyone with my problems besides my parents.I love my parents but my family falls into the category which rarely,if ever talks about feelings (I don't mind it),instead its focused on everyday life,health,money problems etc.Truth is I usually only like talking about feelings when theyre someone else's.I just feel a bit awkward when I get into the spotlight.
QUESTION 3
o you think it'd be appropriate to try and look for a girl now or if it could work at all? (Reading all this back though,I feel like I've presented my situation a tad grim,though the reality is not that dark(I hope so),I'm "just" 22 years old,so I guess I still have time to change (hah,see? I'm already procastinating
),I'm not depressed, dont have any mental issues or anything (at least that i know of),I think this whole thing maybe comes down to the old coming of age thing and its hurdles and me not being able to "man the fuck up" as the saying goes..I mean I THINK I'm changing but I'd say its a slow process,at least when I compare myself to my close friends...maybe uni could accelerate it for me also..))
Captcha : live your dream (yea rrrright)
