Life Is Confusing. People Are Confusing

[Riku'sTwilight]

I recently came back onto facebook after a 6 month hiatus. I needed to come back onto it for my job, and the reason I left was because I didn't really speak to anyone on there (despite numerous efforts for me to try to talk to different people on my friends list).

When I came back on, 6 months later I don't know why I was surpised but I found that nothing had really changed, still no one wants to talk to me unless they want something (someone I hadn't spoke to in years started up a conversation with me just to get my Orange Wednesday code - for those of you who don't know what that is, my mobile network is Orange and every wednesday you can get buy one, get one free cinema tickets anywhere in the UK) which was very wrong really.

One of the things that bugs me though is that really annoying people who either make up stories to gain attention, or just go on and on about the same thing are really popular! Ok I'm not saying I want like 5000 friends or anything like that but y'know, it's just confusing and almost like how are you so popular?

I recently asked a former colleague out for a friendly drink (she's married and has a kid, so it was always going to be just friends, nothing more) and when she expressed concern that maybe she wouldn't be able to meet up in a more grown up setting because of her child, I said "ok, why not just meet up where your kid can play and we can chat?" offering a simple solution to a simple problem.
Yet she then accused me of being too excited about wanting to go for a drink with her and told me to actually calm down. I responded, saying I didn't think I was being too excited, just offering a solution which she luckily bypassed arguing back that point in her response.

All in all, just a bit of a rant to get some things off my chest before I explode.

I've concluded that I seem to have the personality of a sloth or something like that.
*Forever Alone*

captcha: Carbon-Copy

 

[A Raging Emo]

I recently came back onto facebook after a 6 month hiatus. I needed to come back onto it for my job, and the reason I left was because I didn't really speak to anyone on there (despite numerous efforts for me to try to talk to different people on my friends list).

When I came back on, 6 months later I don't know why I was surpised but I found that nothing had really changed, still no one wants to talk to me unless they want something (someone I hadn't spoke to in years started up a conversation with me just to get my Orange Wednesday code - for those of you who don't know what that is, my mobile network is Orange and every wednesday you can get buy one, get one free cinema tickets anywhere in the UK) which was very wrong really.

One of the things that bugs me though is that really annoying people who either make up stories to gain attention, or just go on and on about the same thing are really popular! Ok I'm not saying I want like 5000 friends or anything like that but y'know, it's just confusing and almost like how are you so popular?

I recently asked a former colleague out for a friendly drink (she's married and has a kid, so it was always going to be just friends, nothing more) and when she expressed concern that maybe she wouldn't be able to meet up in a more grown up setting because of her child, I said "ok, why not just meet up where your kid can play and we can chat?" offering a simple solution to a simple problem.
Yet she then accused me of being too excited about wanting to go for a drink with her and told me to actually calm down. I responded, saying I didn't think I was being too excited, just offering a solution which she luckily bypassed arguing back that point in her response.

All in all, just a bit of a rant to get some things off my chest before I explode.

I've concluded that I seem to have the personality of a sloth or something like that.
*Forever Alone*

captcha: Carbon-Copy

Facebook is just like that. It's a horrible, dark, twisted place that instills the worst in people as they desperately bid to be the most-popular, or the person with the most friends on their Friend Lists or the most likes on one of their pictures.

A lot of people on there, I've noticed, wear superficiality like a suit of armour, hiding behind it to make them feel better about their own inadequacies and problems they may have social in real life - some one can have hundreds or thousands of Facebook friends, but will never speak to any more than a handful of them at any given time.

Facebook seems to be the opposite of a Hive Mind - a reverse Hive Mind - where the more people you have all in one space, the stupider everything seems to be. Large discussions on Facebook always devolve into "ur g4y" "n0 ur gey", without a shadow of a doubt. Always.

I hate that website with an intense, firey, crimson, red-hot passion.

[sub]but i still use it to talk to some of my friends...[/sub]

/rant

 

[Bassik]

Hey, I feel the same way man, and I got friends all over the place. Facebook is kind of a horrible substitute for social interaction. It's like, you want crab meat, and all you get is dyed strips of fish garbage.

As for your colleague, while I don't know how the exact conversation went, it sounds like she is overreacting. I mean, you offered a viable solution to her problem. Maybe (and this is just me guessing while having about the same people skills you do, so take with some salt) maybe she didn't want to go for a drink really and used her kid as an excuse. Sounds weird, right? But "normal" people are messed up like that.

 

[Doclector]

I don't know why I seem to be the only person that doesn't have too many negatives about facebook. Sure, I get some annoyances, my friend list has the stereotypical "Girl who constantly complains about her relationship problems, shares a lot of hipster photography" for one thing, but mostly it's just an easy way to keep in contact with my friends and plan stuff.

I do get not understanding people. Especially recently. I feel like there's such a huge gap in between me and "normal people". They seem like a completely different species to me, and to make matters worse, it seems to work vice versa too. "Nobody understands me" is such a disgustingly emo phrase, but in my case it feels true, and to say the least, it sucks.

 

[Mr. GameBrain]

I log onto facebook often, but not for the reason you would think.

You see, I don't really care about Facebook. I rarely post on it at all.
I go on Facebook to see if my best friend has messaged me. Its pretty rare, (since he doesn't really use it either), but if he can't get me on the phone, or on Steam, it makes a nice alternative.

Somtimes I have some nice conversations with another old friend, who does walkthrough on youtube, so its always nice to see that he's getting on well.

Very rarely I get a nice tip-off on there, but yeah, I just log on for a few seconds out of habit really.

(Well. At uni, it was the best way to keep in touch for group projects, and I would remove the other people I have on there, but I'm kinda lazy and I don't want to be seen as rude. I don't think anyone really cares about or even understands what I ever post on my wall. (I just talk about games, comics, music ect. Just nerdy stuff only my close friends would really get))

EDIT: I recently joined the local comic shop's group. So I check often what sort of stuff is going on. Mostly trade postings, but you know, since I've started Magic, its good to have an idea what sort of stuff is going on in my local area.
(To be fair to my town. Its more geekier than I originally thought. I just never was in any of those circles so to speak. I think especially so now, since the comic shop and the games workshop store are the only interesting places to go now! (Our GAME and HMV closed a few months ago sadly... ))

 

[Relish in Chaos]

That?s Facebook for ya. A place where people you barely know add you and then ask who you are. And it?s really fucking boring, so I don?t know why it?s so popular. Literally the only reason I have an account is because it?s convenient to talk to my friends, especially if they?re not answering their phones for some reason, and sometimes my friends invite me to events on there.

Also, everyone bitched and moaned when I deactivated my account, even though I?m just the ?Class Joker? to most of them. So most of the time, I just leave a tab open and do something else worthwhile on the internet. Like, talk to strangers on forums.

But yeah, some people can just get weird like that. I know I have; once in school, I was really stressed out and my sort-of friend said, ?What?s up, fam?? to me, and I snapped at him for stereotyping me. So maybe your former colleague was just having a bad day.

 

[jebbo]

I use Facebook to:

1. Organise parties / events as it's a better tool than mass email or texting
2. Troll people I barely know who added me by putting ridiculously random responses to their woefully boring statuses
3. Correct everyone's spelling and grammar
4. Act like a complete tit and generally pretend I'm a superhero.

People take life too seriously. Go play with a dinosaur or something

 

[Vampire cat]

I don't use facebook. I'm never on there, I don't even have my own account and STILL it's an annoyance in my daily life. How? Because everyone else uses it! And by that I mean, even when I'm hanging out with good friends, they will spend tons of time "just checking their facebook", chatting with people that aren't even there instead of conversing with those that are, and liking completely reduntant pictures of some girl they haven't seen since the 4th grade making dinner... It so infuriates me because it seems to have completely swallowed up a few of my friends lives!

I swear, it's a plot by facebook and the touch phone people to make me bored even when I'm with people =p. It's kind of the same thing with the new phones too really. I have one, but I don't use it when I'm hanging out with someone cause that'll leave them to stare blankly into the air, which isn't much fun. Still, some of my friends will be playing fucking angry birds, popping soap bubbles and whatever else they've got on there instead of talking... And if I happen to get bored with them doing such, and reading something they'll start complaining I'm anti-social!

FUCK THEM! *rages*

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Why would I blame Facebook for something my friends do?

I mean seriously, I know the internet anonymity and all that but most of my friends aren't asshats on Facebook, which makes me pretty damn sure that when someone is stupid and men, it's the fault of the person, not the medium.

I wouldn't blame a phone for my friend shouting at my on a call. I wouldn't blame a phone for sending a text that broke me and my girlfriend up. So why should I blame Facebook for the stupid of some people?

And hey, if someone is horrible/stupid/confusing to you on Facebook, why not just react as you would in real life? If someone blew up at me over a situation like the one you're describing I'd probably start to cut them out of my life, unless it was essential to keep them for some reason. My friends list is and always has been about 30-40 people, which is approximately the same amount of people I talk to month by month in the real world, with some small exceptions. I don't stay friends with someone from high school I haven't spoken to in five years, because I wouldn't do that in real life.

 

[Hagi]

Eh, people are weird. Just stop expecting them to make sense and everything will turn out better than expected when they make even a tiny bit of sense.

It works for me.

 

[SonicWaffle]

One of the things that bugs me though is that really annoying people who either make up stories to gain attention, or just go on and on about the same thing are really popular! Ok I'm not saying I want like 5000 friends or anything like that but y'know, it's just confusing and almost like how are you so popular?

Do what I did, and delete your Facebook. Give it a few months, then create a new one. Three simple rules;

1) No family. Your family do not need to see that, for instance, your mate has posted "I'll fuck you with scissors" on your wall or tagged you in some photos of a party where you're shitfaced and bleeding everywhere. You talk to them outside of FB, you don't need them on FB.
2) No non-friends. We've all had them. Old colleagues, guys we knew from school but weren't close with, friends of friends etc. Fuck 'em. You'll never talk to them and they only added you to raise their number of friends, so just refuse the request.
3) Absolutely nobody - nobody at all - that you wouldn't be happy to spend an evening down the pub with. If you're not happy to sit down to get drunk and chat together then they've no damn business on your Facebook anyway.

I've now got less than 30 people on my Facebook, but they're all actual friends, so I know that whatever happens these are people who appreciate my bad jokes or post good jokes of their own, and if I see a status about something bad happening I know I'll actually give a shit.

 

[SonicWaffle]

But yeah, some people can just get weird like that. I know I have; once in school, I was really stressed out and my sort-of friend said, ?What?s up, fam?? to me, and I snapped at him for stereotyping me. So maybe your former colleague was just having a bad day.

....that's a stereotype? Of what? I've been called that a lot, though generally by chavvy mates :-/

 

[Fasckira]

Yet she then accused me of being too excited about wanting to go for a drink with her and told me to actually calm down.

Initially it sounds like shes an idiot, so I wouldn't worry about it but then I dont know exactly what you said to her so meh.

I have an ok time on Facebook - I only have friends that I have met face to face and genuinely want to speak to, family and a few work colleagues. If you're struggling to speak to someone in your friends list it sounds like they aren't really your friend (in the traditional sense of the word).

Sometimes it just requires a bit of compromise. Thing is, theres nothing worse than seeing an update like "Lol, eating a banana!" or something. I look at it and think, "Wow, good for you.". If you respond to it however, you can spark up a conversation. You get involved in that person's experience of eating a banana. Lots of these little interactions will bring you closer to your friends in a Facebook way.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Wow, really? You have a full time job and are a fully grown adult and you're still giving a shit about Facebook? Jesus it's a social network, nothing that happens on there has any importance. I'm 18, the whole thing is targeted to people my age and we all realize that it has no significance to anything.

If you're that pissed off with people on Facebook then just get rid of them, there isn't the slightest bit of difficulty trying to avoid them.

And no, life and people aren't confusing.

 

[Jedamethis]

One of the things that bugs me though is that really annoying people who either make up stories to gain attention, or just go on and on about the same thing are really popular! Ok I'm not saying I want like 5000 friends or anything like that but y'know, it's just confusing and almost like how are you so popular?

Do what I did, and delete your Facebook. Give it a few months, then create a new one. Three simple rules;

1) No family. Your family do not need to see that, for instance, your mate has posted "I'll fuck you with scissors" on your wall or tagged you in some photos of a party where you're shitfaced and bleeding everywhere. You talk to them outside of FB, you don't need them on FB.
2) No non-friends. We've all had them. Old colleagues, guys we knew from school but weren't close with, friends of friends etc. Fuck 'em. You'll never talk to them and they only added you to raise their number of friends, so just refuse the request.
3) Absolutely nobody - nobody at all - that you wouldn't be happy to spend an evening down the pub with. If you're not happy to sit down to get drunk and chat together then they've no damn business on your Facebook anyway.

I've now got less than 30 people on my Facebook, but they're all actual friends, so I know that whatever happens these are people who appreciate my bad jokes or post good jokes of their own, and if I see a status about something bad happening I know I'll actually give a shit.

This is brilliant advice. Decided to do it a few months ago. Never been happier with Facebook.

OT: People are indeed confusing. I've given up trying to understand some of them...

 

[Xangba]

I have a lot of friends from the military and others in Tennessee since I'm unfortunately up north for college, so I mainly use it to keep up with them and see what's going on on their end. Don't worry about people that are stupid, they do nothing but bring you down and a lot of times make you feel like crap. I don't know you personally, but I doubt you actually have the "personality of a sloth." More likely is you're just different from most people on your friends list. If they don't want to talk to you, so be it. You can find other people that you have more in common with and actually have good times with. I don't really have a bunch of likes and comments, because I stick with people I'm fairly close to. We talk on the phone or over text considerably more than facebook. Don't worry so much about what's going on with Facebook, be more concerned with your relationships in person. Those are far more important.

Also don't worry about the woman you mentioned. If we have basically the full story from you she clearly over-reacted, so you shrug and move on since she doesn't want to treat you with respect.

 

[Zeema]

I don't talk to nearly anyone in RL, but i don't use the Facebook i think its garbage i really only talk to people from the Escapist

 

[Hoplon]

I only have people I know IRL, still get random idiots bothering me for fatuous reasons.

 

[suitepee7]

i have a group page for me and 6 of my friends. if i find something funny or something i want to share, i'll put it on that group page.

other than that and occasionally planning events (or being invited to them), i don't really use facebook that much