Limericks

[Liverandbacon]

I've recently rediscovered a love of limericks, and tried to create some:

I once bought a new game from EA
Fifty dollars is what I did pay
I went online just once
which was enough for some dunce
to call me fag stupid noob and gay.

There once was a man named John Gugary
whose job was that of a mugger, he
got sent to jail
and because he was male
became well accquainted with buggery.

Anyone else have any limericks?

(Mods: Since limericks are often rude, would you prefer me and others to put them in spoilers with a warning? Just give me the word, and I'll do it.)

 

[megalomania]

I once saw a pointless thread,
that did indeed fill me with dread.
I heard the ban-hammer swinging;
The mods, as always, were winning.

 

[Lullabye]

I once saw a pointless thread,
that did indeed fill me with dread.
I heard the ban-hammer swinging;
The mods, as always, were winning.

That. Was. AWESOME.
let me try.
I once saw a limmerick thread
that would surley soon be dead
A good attempt though it was
t'should still be locked by the escapist's fuzz
(fuzz means cops, cops=mods)

 

[Liverandbacon]

I don't really see why this would be locked. It's not a troll, and doesn't violate any Escapist rules. I can only see it getting locked if things get really out of hand. It encourages participation, unlike most threads I've seen recently, and isn't about Religion/War/Anything else overused. The only potential problem I can see with mods is if they feel it belongs more in the forum games section.

 

[wordsmith]

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

 

[Lullabye]

I don't really see why this would be locked. It's not a troll, and doesn't violate any Escapist rules. I can only see it getting locked if things get really out of hand. It encourages participation, unlike most threads I've seen recently, and isn't about Religion/War/Anything else overused. The only potential problem I can see with mods is if they feel it belongs more in the forum games section.

it does seem more suited for the games section, though this isn't a game. It just feels too....irrelevant for this forum. like those stuid "post your fav jokes here!" threads.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

/thread.

I don't have a limerick, but I have a dirty rhyme if that counts.

 

[Letsrock456]

There once was some trophys called webbys
Which we thought we could win with Ease
So we all voted
But gamespot guntoted
So they won, them and their fleas

 

[Liverandbacon]

I don't really see why this would be locked. It's not a troll, and doesn't violate any Escapist rules. I can only see it getting locked if things get really out of hand. It encourages participation, unlike most threads I've seen recently, and isn't about Religion/War/Anything else overused. The only potential problem I can see with mods is if they feel it belongs more in the forum games section.

it does seem more suited for the games section, though this isn't a game. It just feels too....irrelevant for this forum. like those stuid "post your fav jokes here!" threads.

I don't see how limericks are any less relevant than (a sampling of the current front page of the Off Topic section): "If you could have someone narrate your life, who would it be?", "A realistic discussion of Pirates vs. Ninjas", "The worst thing you accidentaly discovered on the internet", "your fav pizza topping" and "funny news errors". Unlike a "post your fav jokes here!" thread, this hasn't been done before.

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

Too many times? I used the search button, and I couldn't find anything remotely similar to a limerick thread. Seriously, I'm seeing more calls for the banhammer to fall on me based on subjective claims of "pointless thread" than I saw for some people who created threads in all caps ranting, and creating a thread that discouraged discussion.

Edit: And if you really feel that this thread is pointless, just don't post in it, and it will sink to the bottom, unless other people post in it, in which case, it isn't pointless.

 

[The_Night_Walker]

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, ?You?re a tight one.?
She said, ?Pardon my soul,
but you?re in the wrong hole.
There?s plenty of room in the right one.?

 

[Tarlane]

The guy who writes XKCD set up a database of limericks and there are an awful lot of good ones there.

http://www.limerickdb.com/

 

[Insert Funny Name Here]

I once saw a pointless thread,
that did indeed fill me with dread.
I heard the ban-hammer swinging;
The mods, as always, were winning.

That. Was. AWESOME.
let me try.
I once saw a limmerick thread
that would surley soon be dead
A good attempt though it was
t'should still be locked by the escapist's fuzz
(fuzz means cops, cops=mods)

No matter how clever, these aren't limericks. Close but not so.

 

[megalomania]

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

A guy thought he was a poet
He sucked, he just didn't know it
He thought he could rhyme
His verse was a crime
I hurt him, but he didn't show it

 

[Liverandbacon]

Just thought of a new one:

I just saw a game, Zeno Clash
Which revolves around faces to smash
I can't help but smile
at its awesome art style,
but alas, I am low on cash.

 

[wordsmith]

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

A guy thought he was a poet
He sucked, he just didn't know it
He thought he could rhyme
His verse was a crime
I hurt him, but he didn't show it

I sit here, just wondering why
I've drawn fire from this random guy
I picked out the flaw
of rhymes that were poor
What you've said is merely a lie.

Also- The whole "poet/know it" thing is sorta dated

 

[iJosh]

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

This one ones

 

[megalomania]

I sit here, just wondering why
I've drawn fire from this random guy
I picked out the flaw
of rhymes that were poor
What you've said is merely a lie.

Also- The whole "poet/know it" thing is sorta dated

A brothers just messing
No need for distressing
Just in it for laughs
And un-poetic gaffs
All out of rhymes, I'm confessing.

I feel like a rapper in a street battle, except in the 1700's or something and we are both jesters, not rappers...so not really anything like 8 Mile really, except in my head.

 

[wordsmith]

I sit here, just wondering why
I've drawn fire from this random guy
I picked out the flaw
of rhymes that were poor
What you've said is merely a lie.

Also- The whole "poet/know it" thing is sorta dated

A brothers just messing
No need for distressing
Just in it for laughs
And un-poetic gaffs
All out of rhymes, I'm confessing.

I feel like a rapper in a street battle, except in the 1700's or something and we are both jesters, not rappers...so not really anything like 8 Mile really, except in my head.

I guess it's sorta unfair that I've got rap experience then (Poor at freestyling, currently working on my punchlines and flow)

His attack, it was merely a myth
False from the first line to fifth
But lines that are best,
are reserved back from jest,
Or at least when you mess with the 'Smith

 

[wordsmith]

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

A guy thought he was a poet
He sucked, he just didn't know it
He thought he could rhyme
His verse was a crime
I hurt him, but he didn't show it

I sit here, just wondering why
I've drawn fire from this random guy
I picked out the flaw
of rhymes that were poor
What you've said is merely a lie.

Also- The whole "poet/know it" thing is sorta dated

You're really bad at limericks. It's a rhyme scheme of, as has been stated, a/a/b/b/a.
That one was, a/a/b/c/a. Which is just out of left field.

We can't forget Homer Simpson's great 'limerick':
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato.
He would rap all day,
From April to May,
Oh and guess what it was me.

Poor doesn't rhyme with flaw? That's a new one to me. Being as there is little to no difference in the enunciation of "floor" and "flaw", and there is as little difference between "poor" and "paw", I'd say it fits fine.

 

[thiosk]

there once was a woman from france
who had a pound of swiss cheese in her pants
i looked on in dismay
for a man then did say
for that i'll pay 25 francs.


i don't get it