Limericks

[Lazzi]

there once was an argentine goucho named Bruno

who said "sex is one thing I do know

women are fine

and sheep are Divine

but Llamas are numero uno

 

[retro himself]

The awesomest geek limerick I ever heard:

'Tis a favourite project of mine:
a new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at three,
for its simpler you see,
than 3.14159.

Also http://limerickdb.com/ best limericks in the world.

Oh, and it's by the creator of xkcd (seriously, is there anything awesome Randall isn't a part of?)

 

[Willwillwritehiswill]

a man once lived near the sea front
His wife, she could do some sweet stunts
he tried some himself
and broke all his shelf
she called him a terrible... man...

 

[Sir Broccoli]

A limerick fan said: "What a mess
Four lines is one too less
Because, without a doubt
The punchline gets snipped out"

 

[Liverandbacon]

Dudes... Limericks are A/A/B/B/A, not A/A/B/B.

Try this for size-

There once was a thread about rhymes,
The readers cried "Too many times!
His post should be docked,
this thread should be locked"
But the Mods were banning worse crimes.

A guy thought he was a poet
He sucked, he just didn't know it
He thought he could rhyme
His verse was a crime
I hurt him, but he didn't show it

I sit here, just wondering why
I've drawn fire from this random guy
I picked out the flaw
of rhymes that were poor
What you've said is merely a lie.

Also- The whole "poet/know it" thing is sorta dated

You're really bad at limericks. It's a rhyme scheme of, as has been stated, a/a/b/b/a.
That one was, a/a/b/c/a. Which is just out of left field.

We can't forget Homer Simpson's great 'limerick':
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato.
He would rap all day,
From April to May,
Oh and guess what it was me.

Poor doesn't rhyme with flaw? That's a new one to me. Being as there is little to no difference in the enunciation of "floor" and "flaw", and there is as little difference between "poor" and "paw", I'd say it fits fine.

It all depends on accents. Seeing as you're from the UK, and he's from the US, that's probably where the confusion comes from.

 

[megalomania]

You're really bad at limericks. It's a rhyme scheme of, as has been stated, a/a/b/b/a. That one was, a/a/b/c/a. Which is just out of left field.

We can't forget Homer Simpson's great 'limerick':
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato.
He would rap all day,
From April to May,
Oh and guess what it was me.

Flaw and Poor do rhyme

I guess it's sorta unfair that I've got rap experience then (Poor at freestyling, currently working on my punchlines and flow)

His attack, it was merely a myth
False from the first line to fifth
But lines that are best,
are reserved back from jest,
Or at least when you mess with the 'Smith

Should of known he was from the hood
His verse left me stuck in the mud
Science is my game
No future of rap fame
Leave that to the wordsmith who could

There aren't many words that rhyme with -mania so I couldn't think of any clever ways to work my name in lol!

 

[wordsmith]

Should of known he was from the hood
His verse left me stuck in the mud
Science is my game
No future of rap fame
Leave that to the wordsmith who could

There aren't many words that rhyme with -mania so I couldn't think of any clever ways to work my name in lol!

Not from the hood, not by a long shot dude
As for words not rhyming with "-mania", you need to think with (metaphorical) portals. "mania" could go to "crania" (corruption of the plural of cranium) "brainier", "Zanier" (as in "more zany") or you could even echo it to "maimin' ya"

Example-
There once was this dude- megalomania
Who said to me " 'Smith- I'm the brainier
Between me and you,
I think that it's true
that I've got the lyrics to cane ya".

 

[Cheesus333]

I once saw a pointless thread,
that did indeed fill me with dread.
I heard the ban-hammer swinging;
The mods, as always, were winning.

Something something -ead?


There once was a man from Nantucket
Who dreamt he lived deep in a bucket
He awoke with a fright
To a terrible sight
And simply thought 'Oh dear God - Fuck it.'

W00t.

 

[megalomania]

Not from the hood, not by a long shot dude
As for words not rhyming with "-mania", you need to think with (metaphorical) portals. "mania" could go to "crania" (corruption of the plural of cranium) "brainier", "Zanier" (as in "more zany") or you could even echo it to "maimin' ya"

Example-
There once was this dude- megalomania
Who said to me " 'Smith- I'm the brainier
Between me and you,
I think that it's true
that I've got the lyrics to cane ya".

I was never one for truance
So I'm versed in grammatical nuance
Infinitives not split
I'm no lyrical twit
But my street speak won't cause you much nuisance

I thought of zanier, but it reminded me a bit too much of animaniacs, as for maimin' ya, wheres the love? I ain't preachin' no hatreds here.

p.s liked cane ya'

 

[wordsmith]

I was never one for truance
So I'm versed in grammatical nuance
Infinitives not split
I'm no lyrical twit
But my street speak won't cause you much nuisance

I thought of zanier, but it reminded me a bit too much of animaniacs, as for maimin' ya, wheres the love? I ain't preachin' no hatreds here.

p.s liked cane ya'

I'm glad you liked it As for "maimin' ya" in a rhyme, I take it to mean humiliating someone or getting them to a point that they can't respond.

This battle's a little one-sided,
I target your rhymes like I'm guided
When molding English
to grant what I wish
'cos no-one can do it like I did.

See? Rhymes are easy once you start vocalising and not limiting your choices to pure rhymes (meaning you can use mutations [ex. crania- mutates from cranium, crania is a false plural], couplings [ex. caning ya- ay-nee-ya is the target, ay-nin-ya is the result] and half rhymes to get out of a tight spot). Using this, you can use "non rhyming words" such as Orange, as it's close enough to door-hinge

 

[megalomania]

I'm glad you liked it As for "maimin' ya" in a rhyme, I take it to mean humiliating someone or getting them to a point that they can't respond.

This battle's a little one-sided,
I target your rhymes like I'm guided
When molding English
to grant what I wish
'cos no-one can do it like I did.

See? Rhymes are easy once you start vocalising and not limiting your choices to pure rhymes (meaning you can use mutations [ex. crania- mutates from cranium, crania is a false plural], couplings [ex. caning ya- ay-nee-ya is the target, ay-nin-ya is the result] and half rhymes to get out of a tight spot). Using this, you can use "non rhyming words" such as Orange, as it's close enough to door-hinge

I always thought non-literal rhymes were like sarcasm; they don't work in written word. They require pronunciation and context.

Leave written rhymes to The Bard
Non-literal rhymes leave me scarred
When sarcasm works
Its spoken, not qwertz
I'm afraid pop culture has erred

Yay, I have finally started making up rap words, although as far as qwertz goes thats a pretty geeky way to say typing.

 

[wordsmith]

I always thought non-literal rhymes were like sarcasm; they don't work in written word. They require pronunciation and context.

Leave written rhymes to The Bard
Non-literal rhymes leave me scarred
When sarcasm works
Its spoken, not qwertz
I'm afraid pop culture has erred

Yay, I have finally started making up rap words, although as far as qwertz goes thats a pretty geeky way to say typing.

hey, whatever works The only thing I can see out of splace ith your last one is that you need an extra 2 syllables in lines 3+4

But when the sarcasm works,
it's spoken word, not in qwertz

It just helps it to scan easier

 

[DeadpanLunatic]

I have removed my words from this site.

 

[doopdoopdoopdoop]

doop doop doop doop doop

 

[Shadowfaze]

I got lots of limericks. they are all too rude for this forum. Ho hum...