[HEADING=2]Proudly Presents[/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]The Icepick Lobotomy[/HEADING]
As usual Kudos to Sporky111 for the review banner
This review contains information on an outdated medical procedure. Do Not Attempt
Some people may find this review or the images in said review disturbing. Read with Caution
Any questions or concerns can be sent via PM
And Finally this is a satirical review, please take anything I say with a lot of salt
This review contains information on an outdated medical procedure. Do Not Attempt
Some people may find this review or the images in said review disturbing. Read with Caution
Any questions or concerns can be sent via PM
And Finally this is a satirical review, please take anything I say with a lot of salt
Alright here's Lost in the Void to review something other than a Bioware game. In fact I'm moving off the entire topic of gaming for this review. Some call it schizophrenic; I call it an ironic response to that accusation. The world of Psychology is largely misunderstood, by being thought of as that place where you talk to the funny Freudian theorist about how you're messed up because your father raped you or something to that effect. Today we're looking at the more medical side of Psychology and a procedure that can do anything from cure seemingly incurable cases of schizophrenic all the way to curbing the insane amount of hyperactivity. That's right we're talking about the lobotomy and it's much more efficient brother, the icepick lobotomy that was advocated by a psychologist by the name of Walter Freeman.
[IMG_inline caption="Are you Sure you Have ADD?"]http://image.absoluteastronomy.com/images/encyclopediaimages/i/ic/icepicks1.jpg[/IMG_inline]
He built off the procedure created by his professor, António Egas Moniz, who was the first person to devise the lobotomy procedure. Now since Moniz's procedure was a slow one and America is a fast moving country, people wanted a quicker way to cure their mentally ill, to avoid clogging asylums that were already filled to capacity. Freeman devised a method to quicken the process. Instead of drilling into the side of the head, like most lobotomies were completed during that time, he instead used a surgical instrument to enter near the tear duct, usually using a rubber mallet to pound the instrument in the proper depth. After that, the surgeon would wiggle it around until he had enough room to mash up the frontal lobe, the area responsible for the undesirable behaviours found in the patient. This was done with no scarring and could be completed quickly, ushering in a new era of psychological treatment.
Now enough about what the procedure is about. The question is whether or not this procedure is for you. My answer; of course it is. This procedure was a great innovation in medicine. You could have the patient operated on in one day and sent home the next with little to no permanent damage, all while curing one of the most dangerous mental illnesses that would have guaranteed life in an asylum for that loved one. Not only that, but instead of having to travel to one of the largest cities on your country, most hospitals and mental facilities had the resources to perform the operation, most even had the proper antistatic, but if not, electroparalysis was used to render the subject unconscious. Imagine a procedure that could be done in one day, no scarring and done in your local areas, well this seems to be one of the best ways to cure mental illness though this could just be my personal opinion. This procedure doesn't just cure the extreme diseases though. Does your kid seem unruly, just can't get him under control? Is your husband suffering from epilepsy? The Icepick lobotomy can cure both of those and at minimal cost. This is a procedure that could change your life for the better.
[IMG_inline caption="It can't be dangerous look how happy she is"]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_TrgCxGd0fQE/RpeXXh7IPLI/AAAAAAAAAFc/n4UUgPTMMJM/s400/rosemary+1918-2005.jpg[/IMG_inline]
Now of course I could end the review right here, but then you would have to just accept on my word alone that this procedure is the best cure for mental disease. Why don't I simply let the statistics speak for themselves? An English study found that after the procedure 41% of patients were "recovered" or "greatly improved", 28% were "minimally improved", 25% showed "no change", 4% had died, while only 2% were made worse off. In total it appears that 69% of patients were improved in some way from this procedure. That alone should convince you that when one of your loved ones has a mental condition, that this procedure is the way to go.
Now for you hesitant people who just aren't will to have any doctor do your procedure on your loved one, there is one thing to make all that go away. The original creator, yes the Freeman himself does travel around the United States of America in his vehicle deemed "The Lobotomile." This means that he could be coming your way any day and you can line up to have your loved one cured by the best of them. What better way to ensure that your loved one is getting the best of the best of the surgeons.
To end this review, I again call out to all of you who want to cure your loved ones and are scared of them being sent to those cesspools of violence known as asylums. You know that your loved one isn't one of those people and can be a normal person; they just need a little help. Well hopefully this review has opened your eyes to an astounding, revolutionary procedure that boasts a success rate of almost 70%. I know that I would gamble on those odds. With this world going to the dogs and more and more people developing this "madness" everyone keeps talking about, what better way to determine that your loved ones get to continue living the good life. Try one today, you may find yourself surprised.
Lost in the Void is a member of the Escapist community, not known for his reviews, but he puts them up anyway. He also enjoys RPing in that section of the site and having insults flung at him for his rants that he gives to his friends. He also enjoys critique on any of his work so feel free to yell at him here too.
[HEADING=2]Games[/HEADING]
Sins of a Solar Empire [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.145037]
Dragon Age: Origins [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.161457]
MX vs ATV: Reflex [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.165581#comment_form]
Mass Effect 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.171506-Lost-in-the-Void-Presents-Mass-Effect-2#comment_form]
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.172605-Lost-in-the-Void-Presents-Knights-of-the-Old-Republic]
Sins of a Solar Empire [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.145037]
Dragon Age: Origins [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.161457]
MX vs ATV: Reflex [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.165581#comment_form]
Mass Effect 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.171506-Lost-in-the-Void-Presents-Mass-Effect-2#comment_form]
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.172605-Lost-in-the-Void-Presents-Knights-of-the-Old-Republic]
