LoadingReadyRun: The Fountain

Imp_Emissary

Mages Rule, and Dragons Fly!
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May 2, 2011
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Zachary Amaranth said:
Imp Emissary said:
Must attend? F@#KING get to attend! ;D (Prof. Paul Rules!)
You say that now, but his heart won't be in it. He should be out raiding tombs and lost arks.
He will learn to love it. Plus, he can take his students to look at all the things he finds now!
 

Clankenbeard

Clerical Error
Mar 29, 2009
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This was the best written LRR sketch I can remember. It is soooo nice to see an engineer soundly bash the dreams of an archaeologist. Pragmatismed!
 

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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Aw, I love it when Paul plays the wide-eyed optimist type, only to have his dreams and ambitions crushed in such a hilarious manner.
Imp Emissary said:
Zachary Amaranth said:
Imp Emissary said:
Must attend? F@#KING get to attend! ;D (Prof. Paul Rules!)
You say that now, but his heart won't be in it. He should be out raiding tombs and lost arks.
He will learn to love it. Plus, he can take his students to look at all the things he finds now!
The field trips alone would be worth the cost of tuition!
 

Mikeyfell

Elite Member
Aug 24, 2010
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If Dan Brown were dead he would be turning over in his grave.
Since he's still alive he'll probably just request to be burred upside down.
 

The Random One

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May 29, 2008
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It seems there's nothing the Ultra-Illuminatti have that we cannot take away.

At least they weren't Double Masons. Those are really hardcore.
 

Blackout62

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Dec 24, 2008
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Mikeyfell said:
If Dan Brown were dead he would be turning over in his grave.
Since he's still alive he'll probably just request to be burred upside down.
Of course! If he's buried upside down then mind's eyes shall face towards the Earth's core and... [one long ass pice of flimsy exposition later]... The Shroud of Turin is in Detroit!
 

Benedict

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Feb 21, 2012
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So, just so we're clear- Jer is an agent of the ultra-Illuminati sent to dissuade Indiana Paul from deciphering the codex, right?
 

Dascylus

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May 22, 2010
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Timing is excellent.
I watched National Treasure 2 the other day (As part of a Nicholas Cage marathon) and as the ending unravelled and the bad guy showed himself to have no allegiance to his southern racist great-grandfather I thought to myself that it all would have been much easier if instead of coming up with a huge lie about Cages forefathers and then kidnapping people and all the other malarkey and even burning a historical artifact along the way that it would have been better to just go straight to Cage and say "My great-grandfather was a racist asshole and our family name has been stained for many years by his actions that included the death of your great-great-grandfather. I would like to make amends by working together with you and seeking a treasure that will have great historical and monetary value"

And then I thought a little more on the first movie (the plot of which had already started blurring like a strange dream by that point) and remembered that money was the ultimate goal of Eddard Starks character. Then at the end we see that just 1% of that is enough to make Cage, his kidnap victim and "the tech guy" financially set for life.
Why the need for the subterfuge? Oh yeah there was a complicated thing about the Declaration of Independence but if the evidence on the boat hadn't been destroyed when Sharpe tried to kill Cage then the story would have had much more credibility and they could have pulled it all off legitimately.

I am gonna have to go back on Jones and Crofts series of treasure hunting adventures to see if they could have worked out to everyones benefit if only someone didn't try to screw the next guy over. (Yes, of course "...except for the Nazis")
 

ThunderCavalier

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Nov 21, 2009
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I felt so sad for Paul. He looked so disappointed that his chances of going on wild, Indiana Jones-esque adventures was crushed by the practicality of 2013 technology.

... But at least we got the fountain now.



... Seriously, that was a pretty funny sketch.
 

Trisha Lynn

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Jan 13, 2010
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Johnny Novgorod said:
Is it just me or does the sketch have a RE4 vibe? Mr. Saddler? The Illuminati? Archaeological excavation? Spain?
I was thinking Uncharted, myself. (Even if I've never played the game before.) Or maybe even National Librarian, or whatever the series is called. They all have brown haired guys as lead characters, right?

Blackout62 said:
Mikeyfell said:
If Dan Brown were dead he would be turning over in his grave.
Since he's still alive he'll probably just request to be burred upside down.
Of course! If he's buried upside down then mind's eyes shall face towards the Earth's core and... [one long ass pice of flimsy exposition later]... The Shroud of Turin is in Detroit!
I wish I could +1 or upvote this.
 

PedroSteckecilo

Mexican Fugitive
Feb 7, 2008
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I would totally watch the Adventures of Victoria Paul... or would he be Columbia Paul... British Columbia Paul just sounds awkward... Is Paul originally from BC? Maybe there's a workaround... Yukon Paul sounds pretty badass... so does Manitoba Paul... despite Manitoba being well... Manitoba...
 

Adventurer2626

New member
Jan 21, 2010
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Brilliant work as always gentlemen. I feel sorry for those poor bastards. Being a relic sucks. Hey, maybe someday they'll be studied by obscenely unnecessary scholars from the future! Nothing like riddle locked in a riddle muddled by time and ink smudges.
 

Proeliator

New member
Aug 22, 2012
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Funny note though, a lot of bullet vests do not work against knives and arrows, so darts might puncture them...