Lol, Skyrim.

[thethingthatlurks]

The most hilarious bug I've encountered happened after me and my fellow imperials wiped out the traitorous Stormcloak scum, which culminated in my executing Ulfric - bastard totally deserved it. As we (me, Gen. Tullius, and some quest related npc of no consequence) were about to leave, some random imperial soldier enters the room and starts shouting those annoying one-liners. Well, we left, and Tullius gave his big speech, but that damn solider followed us. He stood behind Tullius the entire time shouting how he'll single handily take on the entire Stormcloak army, and swinging his sword around.

Spoiler: behold, Skyrim at ultra high at 1080p

It seems military discipline is not really taught in the legion, or respect for superior officers...


It also seems that wearing Morokai and the Archmage's robes causes your face to disappear. I don't really mind though, because my character now looks like death incarnate. Bethesda really should add scythes as weapons for these kinds of bugs...

Spoiler: and once more

 

[Xooiid]

-A dragon somewhere around the Eldergleam Sanctuary takes a bite out of me right as I bring my shield up. Insta-death and rocket. I think my game re-loaded somewhere in Low Tamriel Orbit.

-Early on, when heading up to High Hrothgar, I spy an Elk at the end of the path. I crouch, take aim, and hit the sucker right in the head. I go up to collect my spoils...ad the elk is gone. Rolled off the cliff in a last-ditch 'Screw you'!

-Killed a lonely mammoth by jumping on top of a rock, which made it walk away, then jumping off the rock, which made it turn around and charge. I put about 40 iron arrows in that mammoth before it went down.

Spoiler

Killed Komato and the Alik'r in Swindler's Den for the redguard woman's quest in Whiterun by skipping out of the dialog early, getting in a power attack, then running and hiding until they marched back in their cave. Once they turned around, I used arrows to pluck them from a distance. Yeah, it kind of breaks immersion when one guys says 'I think I heard something' while stepping over his dead friend, five arrows sticking out of his back.

- Recreating the scene from the trailer by running after a Dragon about to dive off a cliff for it's spoils. The whole 'dragon soul' thing coming up from the cliff looked awesome, too.

-Hitting a Draugur so hard it clipped through the sloping floor. Yes, I hit him so hard I knocked him off the XBox.

- Also, for stealthy players: let your companion wear heavy armor and use a two-handed sword [Like Lydia]. Shoot an arrow, then back off far enough so they chase after Lydia, and ignore you. While she's chopping them, sneak attack. It has made my life so much easier in some quests, and her Superior Dwarf Armor makes her a beast.

 

[Ditzydoo]

When I found out that Dragons are not the biggest threat to Skyrim, no.....its the mammoths, damn things near unkillable I tell thee!, also, some bandit dieing by tripping over a rock, I couldn't compose myself for 2-3 miniutes

 

[Slowpool]

>Draugr runs at me in Bleak Falls Barrow

>Burn it with fire

>Dies while sprinting

>Body rockets past me while still on fire

>Splats into wall

>Slides up wall

>Splats into ceiling

>Slides back along ceiling

>Lands back where it started

>Sets off swinging spiked grating trap

>Kills two more draugr approaching and Aravel (sic) the Swift

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Okay so...I'm up in winterhold in the village. A frost dragon swoops down to start a fight. It lands at the bottom of the high street. I slow down time with my archery perk and look around the corner of a building to shoot it. It starts doing a frost breath and all I see is this chicken running down the street in slow motion with this freaking great dragon and frost cloud behind it like 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO'

I lolled.

This is kind of an indirect one but my friend was on Skype with me and I can hear his game because he doesn't wear headphones. He is leveling his enchanting and every single time he closes the soul gem vendor guy I hear. 'You know if you have the aptitude you should go to the mages college in Winterhold.'
After about the tenth time my friend lets out this primal scream and I hear the sounds of loads of fighting. xD

The next day I texted him 'You know if you have the aptitude...' He texted me back 'Fffffffuuuuuuuuu'

 

[StormShaun]

One time I was fighting a dragon near Solitude and this was after the Dark Brotherhood wedding (people should know this), I was running from my bounty and I came to an open field, but first I had to jump into the river below, so I did that...and guess what, a DAMN dragon swoops over and flames my ass in the water.

I didn't die though, so I hoped out of the water and shouted at the ***** dragon to land, and when he did, I pulled out my two daggers and charged attacked him (You know, the reeeeeeeeeally fast one), I didn't notice it, but when I went through the dragon for some reason (Glitch or awesomeness?) I turned around to hit it again but all it does it slump to the ground and starts being nom-ed by me. I was like "What the...how?", I instant killed the dragon by jumping through his very soul, I laughed for quite a bit.

Also the other time is when I killed a dragon in the College at Winterhold. He died in the courtyard and every time I go to it, all I see is a dancing dragon skeleton...its quite a nice decoration.

And there is the mountain of dragon bones in Winterhold too, how many have I killed there? X_X'

 

[smitmk]

Sigurd dropped dead one day in Whiterun. No idea why. People were standing around staring at him saying what a shame it was. I went to loot him and accidentally picked up his body and started dragging it and one of the Blood-Born's screamed at me "Stop That!"

 

[darth.pixie]

Most hilarious bug I've seen.


Every time I dismount a horse in a limited space it goes flying.


A dude walked up to the Jarl who was sitting down and didn't stop walking once he got in front of her. He walked up the throne into her lap and they began having a staring contest. It went on for quite some time until I got bored and left.

And I've seen a man wearing a wood plate around his neck. Taking it would have been stealing so I left it there.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Spoiler: Hey, check out my totally k-rad elven boots.

 

[Dizeazedkiller]

Zig zagging up a vertical cliff, horse's ass sinking into the mountain, dismount at the top.... fall straight through the mountain and die to fall damage.

Now i haven't tried this one yet but im training up my pickpocketing atm and trying to get it to 100 so i can steal a whole towns armour so it can be the naked town. Trollololol

Also, for stealthy players: let your companion wear heavy armor and use a two-handed sword [Like Lydia]. Shoot an arrow, then back off far enough so they chase after Lydia, and ignore you. While she's chopping them, sneak attack. It has made my life so much easier in some quests, and her Superior Dwarf Armor makes her a beast.

Being a part of the dark brotherhood i have Shadowmere as my mount. I ran into two dragons in the middle of nowhere, and they immediately landed right next to me. I sneaked behind a tree hoping that maybe they'd stop attacking me. They agroed to Shadowmere. Shadowmere is invincible. I killed both dragons without losing any health because my horse will not die.

Shadowmere is better ;P

 

[Dizeazedkiller]

Nothing too great has happened to me so far, though I did run in to a child kiting a spider from who-knows-where. On my way to Ivarstead, ran past a mill I figured I'd discover, and on my way through a little girl comes running with an angry spider chasing her. First time I've even seen a spider out in the open.

There's also a scripted conversation during the main quest where they used the same voice actor for both parts. I assume that's what they've done, or it's one guard talking to himself while another guard listens.

There was also the time I did a Dark Brotherhood quest - I killed the target and remained unseen, but then someone sent to "help" runs up and talks to me, and suddenly I have an angry mob chasing me. The guy sent to help me just wandered off. I didn't even get the bonus for the job, even though I did it the way they wanted me to

You have to kncok the gargoyle onto her, you can't just kill her during her speech. I'm assuming your talking about the wedding.

 

[busterkeatonrules]

Not many funny things happen to Raj. Mostly tragic.

Raj get home, and go into living room, try to heal wounds after combat with dragon. Accidentally flame atronach. Certainly, this freak me out, so i proceed to stab it.

Flame Atronach fall over dead. Wife Mjoll come into living room, and scold Khajiit for miscasting. I apologize then "BOOOOOOM!", room bathed in fire!

Did you know Flame Atronach explode after death? Raj did not. Ruin house, sending everything in house off shelves. Make big mess!

Wife Mjoll cant help but laugh. Fire Burn off all of Raj's fur. Look pinker then pomegranate! Raj dislike next week in cold skyrim.

Now Raj see why nords always angry.

Hi. Just wanted to say, thank you. You've made my day.

Funniest thing that has happened to me so far, at least that I can remember, was the first time I tested out my new werewolf transformation in battle. Against werewolf hunters, natch. I hit the Werewolf button, my character got all hairy and muscular, ripped through three or four rooms worth of bad guys like a furry meat grinder - and then turned back into a scrawny (and naked) Redguard. RIGHT in the middle of a massive cluster of pissed-off werewolf hunters.

Oops.

 

[MrBenSampson]

The game is a little odd at times. The couriers are faster than e-mail. I killed a chicken, and had a few people in town attack me. Immediately after the my last opponent fell, a courier walked up to me with a letter. The letter was from someone in town, thanking me for slaying one of those men who attacked me.

Not long after, I had bought a dwarven bow, which had a nice fire enchantment. I had walked no more than 30 metres before I got a letter from a man living in a distant town, asking me to sell my bow to him.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

Zig zagging up a vertical cliff, horse's ass sinking into the mountain, dismount at the top.... fall straight through the mountain and die to fall damage.

Now i haven't tried this one yet but im training up my pickpocketing atm and trying to get it to 100 so i can steal a whole towns armour so it can be the naked town. Trollololol

Also, for stealthy players: let your companion wear heavy armor and use a two-handed sword [Like Lydia]. Shoot an arrow, then back off far enough so they chase after Lydia, and ignore you. While she's chopping them, sneak attack. It has made my life so much easier in some quests, and her Superior Dwarf Armor makes her a beast.

Being a part of the dark brotherhood i have Shadowmere as my mount. I ran into two dragons in the middle of nowhere, and they immediately landed right next to me. I sneaked behind a tree hoping that maybe they'd stop attacking me. They agroed to Shadowmere. Shadowmere is invincible. I killed both dragons without losing any health because my horse will not die.

Shadowmere is better ;P

Spoiler: Civil war spoilers

I was defending Whitrun from the Stormcloaks. You actually begin battle by the stable where your horse spawns after a fast travel. I found out that Shadowmere doesn't like the rebels at all. She aggro'd three soldiers at a time and began destroying them. She killed more Stormcloaks than me or the Imperial soldiers combined. Shadowmere, the hero of the battle for Whiterun. I want Balgruuf to make her a Thane.

 

[Jandau]

Not so much funny, but I find it awesome and slightly hillarious that Skyrim takes some of the standard tropes regarding Elves and throws them out the window.

Namely, the whole usual talk about the Age of Man coming and Elves (and other "elder" races) slowly fading away before the expansion of the ever-so-adaptable and clever Humans. 99% of the time there are Elves, this shit is happening in one form or another. In Forgotten Realms (the D&D setting) Elves are basically living in a limited number of enclaves and small kingdoms. In Dragon Age, the elven empire is long gone and what's left is pathetic.

But no, not the Elder Scrolls Elves. Those dudes GOT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER! Between Oblivion and Skyrim, the High Elves and the Wood Elves teamed up, made an Elf kingdom, then allied with the Khajiit and proceeded to kick the Empire in the nuts. To be specific, they asked for a ton of stuff and when the Empire refused, they marched right in there, ripped them a new arsehole and sacked the Imperial City. Imperials barely pushed them back and ended up agreeing to all the demands the elves made, including the one where they outlaw the worship of Talos (which pissed off a lot of people in Skyrim).

Seriously, every time I see one of the Thalmor I let out a small evil giggle. Those guys are awesome!

 

[FooFire]

I gave up on companions after the time I was riding my 1000g horse saw something shiny, gets off to pick up, turns round to find my horse floating off in the distance... Sprinting after my pride and Joy shouting no horsey come back! only to see it reach its vertical limit pause then plummet to the ground dead... 1000g gone!

half an hour later im heading up the steps to see the grey beards with my servant woman in tow. Came across a steep step she just couldn't handle so she went round and fell off the mountain!
...
...

Conclusion, don't bother with companions

 

[similar.squirrel]

I was talking to Delphine after killing my second dragon. Now, in both real life and the Realms Fantastical, I'm averse to making eye-contact. So, this lady was nattering on and I was looking around like a hallucinating meerkat. Suddenly, I observed a mammoth behind the treeline shoot vertically about 80 meters into the air.

 

[Legendairy314]

Got a random event that turned even more random and thus more hilarious.

I was walking towards a random sunken shoot for untold loot when a man only known as "Thief" came across me and told me to hold onto this Axe of Lightning and that he'd come back for it later. As he runs away he runs past another fellow that immediately comes up to me and asks if he has seen said thief or the item he stole. As I rolled my eyes I noticed in the background (while the conversation was still going) that thief was heading towards a Sabre Cat. He saw this and ran away. For about 20 seconds I talked to the owner of the axe as I watched behind him the thief getting chased down and killed by the cat. I gave back the axe and the owner exclaimed how he's going to find and murder that scoundrel. Then he got attacked as I continued on without looking back.

 

[Sordak]

Not so much funny, but I find it awesome and slightly hillarious that Skyrim takes some of the standard tropes regarding Elves and throws them out the window.

Namely, the whole usual talk about the Age of Man coming and Elves (and other "elder" races) slowly fading away before the expansion of the ever-so-adaptable and clever Humans. 99% of the time there are Elves, this shit is happening in one form or another. In Forgotten Realms (the D&D setting) Elves are basically living in a limited number of enclaves and small kingdoms. In Dragon Age, the elven empire is long gone and what's left is pathetic.

But no, not the Elder Scrolls Elves. Those dudes GOT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER! Between Oblivion and Skyrim, the High Elves and the Wood Elves teamed up, made an Elf kingdom, then allied with the Khajiit and proceeded to kick the Empire in the nuts. To be specific, they asked for a ton of stuff and when the Empire refused, they marched right in there, ripped them a new arsehole and sacked the Imperial City. Imperials barely pushed them back and ended up agreeing to all the demands the elves made, including the one where they outlaw the worship of Talos (which pissed off a lot of people in Skyrim).

Seriously, every time I see one of the Thalmor I let out a small evil giggle. Those guys are awesome!

everytime i see a thalmore i kill them without asking questions, i hate those snobs. HERP DERP WE ARE ELVES WE ARE SO GREAT well eat my Axe!

 

[godevit]

I became the arch-mage of winterhold even thought I do so little magic damage its just weird, I basically had been doing long kitting the whole dungeon.
the guys at the collage can one shot me with their spells and I do like 5% to them ....talk about Arch mage.