Lol, Skyrim.

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teh_Canape

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May 18, 2010
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2012 Wont Happen said:
teh_Canape said:
>first time seeing Giants
>walk up to one
>try to talk
>smashes me with a bone-club
I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky
>be on the Escapist
>green text
>implied green text
>used to mark bullet points on my experience
 

mcnally86

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Apr 23, 2008
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derelict said:
So, a funny moment to share. Playing Skyrim earlier, managed to get the entirety of Whitefall after me, guards would attack me on sight with no chance of yielding - since this was very near the beginning of the game for me I had to run from every town I'd yet discovered as soon as the guards would spot me. Which was about half a mile given I'd chosen heavy armor and had no aptitude in sneaking. So, what might you ask, was my crime? So heinous that gave every guard within 30 miles license to cut me down in the most brutal and direct way possible upon seeing half an inch of me go by?


I killed a chicken. I can imagine what my tombstone would've said: "Here lies Syril, murderist of poultry. Oblivion take you, blasphemer!" or something. Maybe it was just funny at the time, though... (=

Anyone else for funny moments?
This still holds true in life today. Go to a farmers barn, kill his animals, and he will chase you with a shotgun. This seems realistic to me.
Incidentally I found a "wild cow" I murdered it for it precious leather. It wasn't until later I noticed a poor farmer lost in the woods looking for his cow. He said he wasn't allowed back home until he found her. I felt really crappy. I mean I just murdered some people without a second thought but the cow thing made me feel bad.
 

Nami nom noms

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Apr 26, 2011
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Blargh McBlargh said:
Nami nom noms said:
I just managed to hack a dragon to death in mid-air after a long fight atop rooftops. It flew below me and I pounced after it, killing it with one last sword stroke as we fell in a crumpled heap upon a cliff-side.
Did it maintain momentum, or did it make a dead stop in mid-air and just plummet like a ragdoll? :p
From what I can remember (it was a couple of days ago now, and I was caught up in the moment, what with that amazing battle music that plays when a dragon is weak), as I landed on the dragon, there was a slight bump for a fraction of a second as I killed it, and then it just began to fall away with me right on top of it. The fall nearly killed my character, but it was worth it :p
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
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Remember how Red Dead Redemption was made fun of because it had the main character, a hardarse cowboy, picking flowers? Well, Skyrim takes it further, with the legendary Dovakhiin not only picking flowers, but also catching butterflies. Seriously, it's just messed up...
 

Thyunda

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May 4, 2009
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Shouting at a pair of giants so they fell to their deaths was pretty funny...although there was a dragon I was fighting with, and the dragon was winning.
Suddenly, a giant swaggers up, beats his chest to get the dragon's attention, then knocks all his teeth out. Then he just swaggers back to his herd, satisfied with saving Skyrim from yet another threat.

Also, when helping Molag Bal get Boethiah's priest on his side, we had the priest in the cage, and I was trying to terrify him. Unfortunately it was taking an age to get anywhere. So I ended up turning into a werewolf and roaring to scare him. Nothing happened. Except Torvar, my companion, put his weapons away, and said "Right. I'm going home." and walked out on me.


EDIT: Forgot a personal favourite. Outside Mistveil Keep, the back entrance, I was strolling down the hill, when a dragon landed. Immediately, the civilians start running and screaming. One guard strode into the middle of the road, and said "If the Whiterun guards can take down a dragon, then so can we!". He was joined shortly by five other guards, all of whom lined up in the road, before drawing their bows and shooting the dragon down. They gave supporting fire, while the legendary Dovahkiin and a mysterious white stranger battled the dragon. Dovahkiin brought the dragon down, and the Stranger wandered back to his stable to eat some hay.
 

Tallim

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Mar 16, 2010
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First time I arrived in Winterhold I met the Jarl on the street so started a conversation with him, halfway through there was a sudden roar and I got bathed in flames from a dragon that had landed right behind me without anyone paying it any attention, I think he might have said something about it. When I cancelled the conversation everyone nearby "suddenly" noticed the massive flame breathing lizard on the street.

I accidentally hit the shout button with the whirwind dash equipped charged across town and right into a guard. "I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that!"
 

Colodomoko

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Feb 22, 2008
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So Im walking out of Riften when all the sudden I get ambushed by 3 bears, I run quickly back to the guard towers outside the town and the archers start firing. One guard decided to play hero and got mauled by the three bears surrounding him. after the fight he is lying dead under all three bears.

Edit: another funny thing that happend just today was when I was seaching a dwemer ruin and this falmer rolls out of the pipe right behind me where I imediately turn crouched and see him taking up my entire screen breathing loudly. What follows are girly screams and my daggers slashing and plunging through his blind ass.
 

Rocksa

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Jul 26, 2008
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Weird moment I had north of Riften. Came to this crossroad area on this small dirt path and started hearing dragon roaring. I scanned the skies and saw nothing, just kept hearing that roar like one was close and about to pop up at any minute. I waited a bit, expecting it to swoop down, and instead ended up seeing a deer that I thought would look perfect in my next set of leather armor. Got ready to take a shot with my bow when a wolf runs out and attacks it, killing it quickly. It growls, does its whole wolf about to attack me thing, and a trio of bandits comes up from further along the path and kills it first. They then start yelling at me a short distance away, doing their song and dance about robbing me and how I'm easier to rob when dead, etc. etc., when a troll charges out of seemingly nowhere and rips through their group. I just watch the carnage for a moment as the three bandits easily fall to the single troll, who then, I imagine somewhat drunk on bloodlust at this point, turns to me and starts pounding the ground, as if in preparation to charge.

I'm still fairly low level at this point, so much so that a troll will present me with a challenge, so I ready my sword and fire spell and hope for the best.

Before the troll manages to move my way, two cave bears come running up from behind it and take it down in no time flat. I freak out a bit now, the troll would have been okay, but the bears are going to kill me outright. One I could have maybe handled, but with two I have no chance. So I find myself resigning myself to get ready to sit through an innevitable loading screen and having my outdoor progress wiped out.

That's when the dragon finally came by and did that whole firebreathing/straffing run deal. Bears are quickly reduced to ash and now the dragon's finally circling overhead and getting ready to take potshots at me. I find myself a bit joyed here, because dragons I feel I can take pretty easily, and they give out those nifty souls. Then I hear some nonsense coming from behind me about dying for the Brotherhood.

At that point I just paused the game, clapped my hands, and announced that I was, in fact, "out". It had finally gotten far too ridiculous with the enemy thing for me.

Ended up finally coming back and just loading up an old save, mostly because I didn't feel I was properly prepared for the inevitable apocolyptic Lovecraftian beast that would have come along had I kept going.
 

Kopikatsu

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May 27, 2010
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I somehow found myself caught in a five way battle between three Hired Thugs, the Town Guard, a Dragon, two Vampires, and Shadowmere. The Dragon killed the Vampires while Shadowmere and the Guard killed the Thugs (Two guards died in the chaos due to random potshots by the Dragon).

At the end of the day, the surviving citizens of Dawnstar (Read: One Guard and some random woman in a dress with a dagger) were the victors.

Rocksa said:
And that's why 'Summmon Bigger Fish' is supposed to be limited to three uses a day!
 

HalfBakedCheeto

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Aug 20, 2011
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I started the game, went exploring pretty far at a low level (Ran from almost everything) and i saw a giant, this being my first playthrough (I abandoned this file shortly afterwards) i got chased ahwile and thought i could hide inside this random shack i found, turns out the owner had been ravished by a sabretooth, i shortly followed his demise.
 

pfeffa

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Mar 1, 2009
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I had Lydia with me when I was fetching Esbern, and one of them must have accidentaly hit the other during combat, because when i turned around to check on them they were fithing each other. The mess ended with Esbern killing her. Proper killing her, which I didn't even know was possible, since she had just fallen down previously when reduced to no health. So watch your companions, 'cause Esbern hits like a truck.

Pretty funny, though.
 

Opal Moonstride

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Nov 23, 2011
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After 141 hours played time, I have come across some of the most ridiculous and hilarious glitches and occurrences. I have to say that the funniest one was with my attempt to get married.

I decided to marry a woman (as a female dark elf) after finding no men that weren't old, drunk or just ugly. I figured I may as well have something pretty to come home to. I chose Illia, but no-go. Not even with the marriage cheat.

So, for gits and shiggles I decided to try out Camilla Valerius (sister of the owner of the riverwood traders). I asked her, set up the marriage, and waited for the wedding day. As I take a few steps toward the front of the temple to begin the ceremony, a man suddenly jumps from the bench at the front with a dagger and starts stabbing my wife-to-be! Everyone then begins to scream and attempt to kill him. He brutally murders a few people before I manage to get to him and kill him with a well placed fireball.

But then, rather than everyone being elated that I saved them, they all tell me to get out! Camilla says "How could you?" and promptly leaves.

What in Oblivion happened!!!? Marriage is clearly not in my cards.
 

SidingWithTheEnemy

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Sep 29, 2011
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I was butchering a group of Thalmor Justicar douchbags outside on the main road, at night.
While having a hefty spell casting contest I barely noticed a headless ghostrider riding along the road into the mists of darkness.
I thought about the film Sleepy Hollow and thought that the Thalmor conjured him or something so I reloaded my lastest Quicksave. But this time he appeared again, only not riding his horse but perfoming some glitchy acrobatic stunt standing on the back of his horse. I would post a screenshot but I still don't know whether that's legal (copyright) and/or Bethesda allows me to do that or not...
 

scorptatious

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May 14, 2009
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There was this one time I was on my way to Riften. I was in the middle of a forest and saw a cave bear in the distance. I decided to shoot an ice spike at it in order to engage it. I was pulling out my mace and shield as it ran towards me when I noticed a second cave bear with it.

At this point in the game, despite killing about 10 dragons, I knew I couldn't handle 2 cave bears at once, so I decided to book it. As I was running, I noticed a dungeon entrance and tried running and jumping off the top in order to lose the bears. And what did I find when I hit the bottom? 2 more cave bears!

So I was now running away from 4 angry cave bears, plus a Spriggan that fired something that made all the bears glow green for some reason. So I just kept running. I ran up a hill, checking behind me every now and then to see if the bears were still chasing me. As I reached the top, I saw a lake with what looked like a small settlement on top of it. This was my only chance at salvation I thought. So after jumping over a log, whilst narrowly dodging a bear swiping at my backside, I sprinted into the water and swam away. I watched from a distance as one of the bears stood up on it's hind legs and roared. Frustrated it couldn't get me. I was safe.

I couldn't just let them get away with that though, so I went back and killed one when it was all by itself.
 

Mariakko

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Nov 21, 2011
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I walked into Dawnstar for the first time and was about to go listen to some people talking so I could get a quest. Said people pull out daggers, swords, etc and run at me. "Oh ho!" I thought, "This must be a quest where the innocent protagonist is dragged into a battle!". I quickly slaughter the guys only to incur a bounty and realize that they weren't about to attack me, but the Blood Dragon that behind me.
 

repeating integers

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Mar 17, 2010
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Rocksa said:
Weird moment I had north of Riften. Came to this crossroad area on this small dirt path and started hearing dragon roaring. I scanned the skies and saw nothing, just kept hearing that roar like one was close and about to pop up at any minute. I waited a bit, expecting it to swoop down, and instead ended up seeing a deer that I thought would look perfect in my next set of leather armor. Got ready to take a shot with my bow when a wolf runs out and attacks it, killing it quickly. It growls, does its whole wolf about to attack me thing, and a trio of bandits comes up from further along the path and kills it first. They then start yelling at me a short distance away, doing their song and dance about robbing me and how I'm easier to rob when dead, etc. etc., when a troll charges out of seemingly nowhere and rips through their group. I just watch the carnage for a moment as the three bandits easily fall to the single troll, who then, I imagine somewhat drunk on bloodlust at this point, turns to me and starts pounding the ground, as if in preparation to charge.

I'm still fairly low level at this point, so much so that a troll will present me with a challenge, so I ready my sword and fire spell and hope for the best.

Before the troll manages to move my way, two cave bears come running up from behind it and take it down in no time flat. I freak out a bit now, the troll would have been okay, but the bears are going to kill me outright. One I could have maybe handled, but with two I have no chance. So I find myself resigning myself to get ready to sit through an innevitable loading screen and having my outdoor progress wiped out.

That's when the dragon finally came by and did that whole firebreathing/straffing run deal. Bears are quickly reduced to ash and now the dragon's finally circling overhead and getting ready to take potshots at me. I find myself a bit joyed here, because dragons I feel I can take pretty easily, and they give out those nifty souls. Then I hear some nonsense coming from behind me about dying for the Brotherhood.

At that point I just paused the game, clapped my hands, and announced that I was, in fact, "out". It had finally gotten far too ridiculous with the enemy thing for me.

Ended up finally coming back and just loading up an old save, mostly because I didn't feel I was properly prepared for the inevitable apocolyptic Lovecraftian beast that would have come along had I kept going.
This is pure hilarity, and has finally convinced me to add Skyrim to my Christmas list. Well done!
 

Ickorus

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Mar 9, 2009
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BUG TIME!

Here's Louis Letrush in Whiterun, he may or may not have duplicated himself. Twice.



Oh yeah, and one fell halfway through the floor.

Here's the results of a shield charge:



He believed he could fly.

Not even Tamriel can resist planking:

 

Drenaje1

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Aug 6, 2011
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Leaving Riverwood, preparing to fast travel to a location to continue the quest, when:

'You cannot fast travel when enemies are nearby.'

Me: "WHAT? WHO DARES TO LIVE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DRAGONBORN?" *dismount horse, unsheathes greatsword*

"Is it a lowly mudcrab, or a wolf, perhaps?"

*Earth shattering roar*

O_O

*turns around*

TOR SHUUUL*sound of horrible burning and screaming villagers*

And so began seven and a half minutes of me chasing a dragon around Riverwood, cursing at children who kept running in my way, trying to dodge flame breath, and hurriedly racing over to one of those two spots on either end of town where the dragon could land such that I could get at it with a sword.


EDIT: Just now, after killing said dragon, and fast travelling to where I was supposed to be, guess what? Another dragon. *facepalm*


But, utilizing super-advanced crouching in plain sight about 100 meters away from your target, in this case, a dragon, I shot it to death with arrows while it just spun around on the ground, baring it's teeth once or twice in my direction. I even got 2.0x sneak attack critical hits on it, and after killing it and turning around to see why my horse is neighing, I see it running off into the hills with Esbern, killing the Forsworn.