looking for fanfiction

[userwhoquitthesite]

Specifically, one that is so terrible, no one I tell about it believes me

It's probably gone to its deserved death, but if it still exists on the internet, can anyone help me find it?
I can't remember what it's called, but here are the details i can remember:
all the cast are now black
its filled with terrible sex scenes
tidus crawls out of the sea and uses magic to change clothes to a jersey and baggy shorts (saying to himself, "so fresh, so clean")
Bahamut's fayth is named Demon
Tidus is a saiyan
its very long, and IIRC tidus is the narrator


Now, i've looked already, so I don't think its on the net anymore, but if anyone wants to rage/laugh/cry (depending on your level of attachment to the series), can you try and help?
It's a bizarre failure of literature on the level of My Inner Life

 

[sextus the crazy]

http://www.cracked.com/article_19992_5-fan-fiction-sex-scenes-you-wont-believe-exist.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_16554_the-5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html

The sheer ridiculousness of these articles makes me weep/laugh.

 

[sextus the crazy]

There should be a rule against linking to Cracked articles. Clicking on one is guaranteed to make 8 hours of your life disappear.

I have to Amend this with also banning videos of "the Whitest Kids U know" clips and any TV Tropes pages.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

What the absolute fuck are you reading!?

I watched a dude online called Bennett the Sage read a fanfiction called "Cloud mows the lawn" I recommend you watch it too, ask for a link if you are too lazy to look yourself.

Sage is old news, dude. He also doesn't read anything that awful, excluding My Immortal, which is only barely horrifying.

I read pure wrong and laugh about it.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

What the absolute fuck are you reading!?

I watched a dude online called Bennett the Sage read a fanfiction called "Cloud mows the lawn" I recommend you watch it too, ask for a link if you are too lazy to look yourself.

Sage is old news, dude. He also doesn't read anything that awful, excluding My Immortal, which is only barely horrifying.

I read pure wrong and laugh about it.

Read "Cloud Mows the Lawn" anyway, I was shocked such a thing existed, it's a hilarious read, trust me.

I remember reading a fanfiction on Fallout 3 which was a cool detailed story of your life in the vault as you grew up...then it sank into awkward sex scenes that made me laugh, I stopped reading after it was just about poorly written sex scenes from that point onwards.

I try to avoid fanfiction...

SAGE
IS
OLD
NEWS
Even if you didn't think I had already read it (which I had), why would you not then assume i am already familiar with it from the video, where he reads it in its entirety?
Basic logic.

Now, you want fucked up shit? Go read the one about

Spoiler: click at own risk. no seriously, watch out

Yuffie being fucked by Red XIII, who's phallus is so large it TEARS HER. then, for that extra icing on the cake, he has insemination barbs that shred her vag to hamburger.

Then she's pregnant with his offspring and sucks him off. and that's still not the most awful thing i've read
EDIT: pretty sure in that particular fic, the initial sex is rape, as well

I've actually gotten back into fanfics, as many of my favorite webcomics are now dead, and I need a source of entertainment

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

so has anyone even attempted to help? or was the thread derailed in one post?