losing my virginity and how i feel used

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Only advice I can give mate is to say, try not to put too much importance on virginity and the loss of it. If you are looking for a relationship i'd say your best bet is to keep looking, never easy I know, but if she isn't interested then thats all ya can do (and for the best in the long run trust me).

As for feeling used, I do understand man, just keep it all in perspective, could all be a hell of a lot worse. Trust me mate when ya find somone right for you virginity and such things become totaly irrelevant. So don't worry about it.

yeah, QFT, plus thinking about it and "attaching" yourself to her(seems to be what you were semi-doing) is not the way to go, just take it as an experience and move on, if the girl truly has any interest in you, she'll come back to you, so don't try to push it, it'll only make things worse, move on to better/more interesting girls.

 

[DVTK00p]

Okee.. Firstly, man card revoked (temporary suspension) for achieving the ultimate in one night stands, and then qq'ing about it to a video game forum.
1) You really want the opinions and advice of the faceless internet mob?
2) Get checked. Who knows who else she's done that with.
3) Learn to love it. Don't be so quick to settle down.. starting a "relationship" at your age will most probably not have a happy ending (literally, not figuratively)

Man up, be proud, and stop playin the bird in this affair. They're supposed to call you, and you ignore them.. thats how you get them to stay.. they don't want needy, emotional blokes with no self confidence.

 

[Ghengis John]

2) Get checked. Who knows who else she's done that with

I was about to insult you for this chest-thumping business when I realized that that is some terrific advice. Hey op, do this.

As for you, guy who made the thread, your intentions were honorable. Keep that in mind and try not to feel too beat up over it.

 

[drummond13]

Well, congrats and a sympathetic pat on the shoulder all at the same time.


My two cents is this: You made two mistakes. The first is that you decided to have sex with a girl you weren't already in some sort of relationship with. There's nothing wrong with this at all, but people who have sex with someone before they even decide they're dating or committed to each other usually don't want to date or be committed. You yourself are one of the rare exceptions to this.

The second is to never have sex with a girl for the first time if either (or both) of you is drunk. Again, this isn't as critical if all you want is the sex (unless she's REALLY drunk, in which case you should tread very carefully). People make choices when they're drunk that they wouldn't have made sober. And when she sobers up, it's very unlikely this is going to lead to relationship territory.

I'm sorry it happened this way, but I would stop texting her. It's not going to make you any more appealing to her (girls see this as "clingy") and you'll heal faster when you fully accept that this one is gone. Look to the future.

 

[Serge A. Storms]

99.999% of the time, you really don't want a long-term relationship with the first person you ever slept with. For the person that really wants a relationship with their first, usually it's either a case of different expectations going in and one party feeling used (which sounds like what happened here) or it happens/was already in place before sex came into the equation and it goes on for awhile and it ends in a fiery trainwreck that you carry around for the next decade or so.

 

[Elf Defiler Korgan]

Now student, the real training begins.
-Old man atop a mountain

 

[Jesse Billingsley]

I have a feeling I'd be in the same boat if it happened to me. I guess my reasoning being that I'd want the 1st time a bit meaningful as well.

As to fix this? You can't really reverse virginity. Unless you lose your memory about it.

Agreed, I'm not much of a fan of one night stands. I too would like my first to be meaningful. As a wiseman once said (AKA My college roommate) Don't sleep with someone unless they are someone you would like to wake up to for the rest of your life.

 

[Sansha]

You're still young. Enjoy the casual sex and don't make yourself miserable by pining for a relationship.

Young girls are full of shit, my friend, your market value will only increase as you get older. It becomes a man's market - women will do anything for a dependable man.

So don't worry about this, bro. Enjoy your irresponsible youth and don't tie yourself down to anyone but *the* right woman.

 

[failing_banana]

hey i was in pretty much the same boat as you a few months ago (well i'm 17, 18 soon) and i mean It sucks but I guess the stigma is gone and i've Managed to connect to girls more than any dating advice book could ever teach you, basically what I'm saying is if women want to take advantage let them, get good at it and then When You meet The one then you'll be Awesome... Hopefully lol

 

[deathmetalfan]

I had a similar experience. Didn't lose my virginity though, she just wanted me to go down on her, and when she had reached her climax, I was kicked out. There's been other times when other girls would talk to me about sex, but when they consider the idea of me having sex with them, suddenly I become the 'Gay Best Friend', just such a good guy who listens to what they say and wouldn't want to ruin what's been built. I can understand that to a point, but when one of these girls has considered the idea at 6 times, I become a little agitated.
The stigmata's of sex are becoming rediculous to me, like a girl can't have sex with someone or else she'll get the label of slut, and guys who sleep with lots of girls are considered awesome, or pigs depending who's side you're gonna take. Best way I can put this is that sex is sex, I'm now 20 and still have yet to lose my virginity, but if I do then that's cool, but I do wish that sex wasn't so shunned upon. Without sex, none of us would be here, we would be gone and erased from any form of history, let alone exsistence. If you're a guy and see a girl or guy (depending on which team you're on) or vise versa, and the other is consenting to sex, just go for it, and enjoy the connection you two will feel, because that's what it's all about.
Sex is something we were given by god, or nature, or a freak accident, what ever you want to believe. It's there, don't let names get in between the great fun and experience it offers and just have fun with each other. Role around in the sheets, under the stars, or in their kinky sex dungeon, just shut the fuck up about god and politics and get lost for an hour or so.

 

[quantumsoul]

Don't feel too bad, now when you start a new relationship losing your virginity won't be an issue. You can relax and have sex without it being complicated.

It could be much worse. You could have lost it to a hooker who laughed at you afterwards. Happened to a friend of mine overseas.

 

[Slayer_2]

Well, I wasn't too happy with my first few times, either, but I realized that just because it's the first time doesn't mean anything. I look at my previous experiences as "practice" for when the real thing happens with someone I actually care about and have a chance of seeing again.

Anyhow, we guys are supposed to be like "hell yeah, casual sex with a stranger, high five brrahhh!", what's wrong with you?

 

[Cain_Zeros]

That was really shitty of her. I guess it just goes to show that there are women who are just interested in one night stands too.

 

[MaxwellEdison]

Oh, boo hoo hoo. Some of us would sell vital pieces of our anatomy to finally remove the stigma and the label associated with virginity. Cry more.

I've seen you around these forums, and you're really starting to bother me. You greatly over estimate the "stigma" of virginity - if anything, you'll be stigmatized for constantly posting self-hating rants about the topic.

And what is so great about virginity then?

Nothing. But there's not really anything bad about it either - it's simply lack of fucking. It's not that big of a deal, unless you constantly moan about it and shove your hatred of your virginity into every discussion on sexuality in general.

 

[blarghblarghhhhh]

Hey guys im a male, 20 and i just lost my virginty to a girl i really fancied but theres a downside to it. We were both a bit drunk at the time and both quite horny so she dragged me off somewhere and well it happened, wont go into the details. Ive sent her a few texts and she didnt even reply and i even contemplated calling her but her best friend, who im also good mates with said "to be honest, i dont think she really wants to get into a relationship at the moment" so yeah thats it, and it sucks. Most people would probably be happy with this but im not, because i wanted a bit more than just a simple fuck. Any comments will be appreciated.

i had nearly the exact experience. protip: dont fuck your friends.
protip 2: it will get better. Might not all shake out how you want but it will get better.

 

[AdeptaSororitas]

These things happen, I honestly enjoyed my first time, however it did lead to much heartache and pain down the road, but not because of issues with my partner, because of many many issues with later partners...

 

[krazykidd]

Count yourself lucky , you got it out of the way , plus your still young , my suggestion to you is , to practice . I seen something happen to a couple of friends of mine , they find the " right " one too young , and don't get to experienxe things many single people do when it was the time . Having casual sex and stuff like that with multiple parters and whatnot . And when they get older they look bqck and think they missed out on some experiences . And the feeling of having missed something and end up breaking up or cheating on someone they truely love and care about because of a feeling they missed out when they were young . So i say , have some experiences , then when you realise you have had enough then get into something serious.