Lying

[cookyt]

If you ask the people around me, they will tell you that I am a terrible liar, and that I could not tell a lie to save my life. From this you can conclude that I am the best liar of the people around me.

Personally, if I need to be manipulative, there are better tools of misdirection available to me than lying. Considering the mental stigma people have against lying, the risks usually outweigh the rewards. As for other people lying to me, most of the time, for the questions I ask people, lies are inconsequential. I take what people tell me at face value with the expectation that there might be a lie buried somewhere.

For example:

The worst part about it all though is how do you know I have not lied about everything in this post?

It doesn't matter if everything in this post is a lie because the post is serving its purpose, that is: to provide discussion value. It's inconsequential. Your appeal to standing by claiming that you have studied lies in an educational environment and your usage of statistics to make your points seem more credible are taken with a grain of salt. Aside from that, everything you said brings up a logically valid point, so you could be a penguin on a rocket to the moon for all I care.

The only time I ever get upset when someone lies to me is if I explicitly tell them not to lie. Of course, I expect them to lie anyway, but I usually find out the truth one way or another. Thus, my telling them not to lie is really more an expression of distrust and a way evaluate how well I can trust them when I tell them not to lie. If they fail the evaluation, you won't see me asking them for anything in the future.

Perhaps this viewpoint is a bit grim, but it has been functional to me so far.

 

[Arakasi]

I only tend to tell simple lies about trivial things, merely to say, avoid embarassment.
It doesn't harm them, but protects me.

 

[Mister K]

Sometimes it is nessecary to tell a lie. In order to make a person feel better. For example, when a patient is has only 10% operation success rate, you must tell him/her something like this: "Well, the success rate is about 85%, so don't worry". Of course, you must tell them the truth AFTER successful operation, but in the meantime...
Also, more trivial example:
Pregnant wife: Honey, do I look worse than before?
Husband thinks: Well, I liked you better when you were slim.
Husband says: No, you look as beautiful as when I met you.

Plus, sometimes you just need to save someones ass.

 

[gazumped]

Maybe i'm just a self serving asshole but if that's what I am it's all good because you gotta look out for number one!

I think that phrase is supposed to mean that you shouldn't suffer for other people, not that you should be an asshole to get ahead.

I mean, most of these lies you're telling don't sound so bad, more like you're spinning tales for entertainment. Lying isn't bad in and of itself (it can make things more interesting for everyone!) but the problem is when those lies affect people or cause pain. If you broke something and told the owner it was someone else who did it thus getting an innocent person into trouble, is a mild example. Or... well, I hope I don't have to outline every possible situation to you, I hope you at least have the good judgement to understand what counts as relatively harmless and what counts as fucking other people over.

 

[Murais]

I am no good at traditional lying, I can't really make eye contact with the person I am lying to, and no one ever believes me.

I am a master of the hyperbole, though. My arts of exaggeration are unparalleled and the window to make things sound better/worse than they really are is an opportunity I cannot avoid. I am a natural storyteller; it would be against my nature to do so.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I only lie when it's about me sometimes but I don't lie so much when it involve others (like lying if a person didn't show up but he/ she really did). If that person want my honesty then I will be honest.

 

[Fappy]

Depends entirely on the lie, though I have a low tolerance for it due to how I was raised. I'll tell little white lies to make interactions go more smoothly, but I try my best to avoid serious lies.

 

[rbstewart7263]

I can lie to my bosses well and easily. Any figure of authority is a target of manipulation to prevent my own manipulation. My friends are another matter I almost never lie to them.

If I ever do lie to my friends I am awash with guilt.

 

[Evilpigeon]

I don't see any reason to tell the truth so long as lying doesn't hurt anyone.

 

[unindexedsearchengine]

I consider the truth to be an inconvenience, despite what people say, everyone manipulates others to some extent. I do it more than others.

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

snip

You could use this ability for something good but instead you're a pathological liar and an ass-hole. I feel sorry for the people who ever meet you, I feel sorry for "the people that call you friends", and I feel sorry for the people you really care about.


Now back OT.
I'll occasionally tell a lie to dodge trouble, or to simply procrastinate. When I tell trouble dodging lies though I'll make sure it doesn't go onto someone else.

 

[White Lightning]

I'm very sarcastic, and most of the people around me can't tell when I am being sarcastic due to my monotone voice and expressionless face. So people who don't know me usually have these weird ideas about me, and I find it to be most amusing.

 

[NathLines]

I lied to my mom once. I was so ashamed that I got explosive diarrhea 3 summers in a row. Whenever summer came, I completely lost track of time.

Yeah, I don't deal well with shame. One of the reasons why I'll never get drunk. Anyway, the above example has more to do with my fear of shame rather than lying. I have nothing against some white lies here and there, but on the large there is really no reason whatsoever to lie. Why would I lie? I don't give a shit if the opposite party doesn't like the truth, fuck that guy.

 

[Patrick Buck]

I tend to lie, but I tend to make the lies outrageous. BUT SOMEHOW PEOPLE STILL BELEIVE THEM. I DON'T KNOW WHY. Meh, but they tend not to be self-serving lies, or bad lies, just random bullshit, so I don't think it's a problem.

 

[runic knight]

People lie to conceal information or true intentions from others, or to give others misinformation. Deception is a tool and contrary to how most see it, any tool is neutral in and of itself, it is how it is used that determines things.

Now OP seems to be an asshole. Lying for the sake of one's fragile ego is about as self serving as you can get, as it isn't even for your own betterment as it is about padding your pride. Your lying only benefits yourself.

Now I lie quite a bit. Usually to spare feelings of others, sometimes to avoid what may be a fight or argument otherwise, occasionally just save myself the time of listening to others more ("Yes sir, I understand what you mean entirely, you don't need to explain it). Selfish, probably, though more along the lines of good for both liar and lied-to. My friends don't feel rejected if I lie and say I have plans when I really just want to sleep that night. My co-workers don't feel defensive if I disagree with their political views (or butt-hurt after I shred them), and my boss doesn't feel he is wasting his time. Wins all around.

Some people manage to only lie for the benifit of others. The ever dramatic "I'll be fine" line in movies when they know they are boned is an example that comes to mind. Day to day ones, hard to come up with off top of my head.

So, in short: Yes I lie. The question should be about judging how lying is used rather then lying itself (honestly, it is like asking if knives are bad). And OP comes off as a bit of a douche who is probably more widely regarded as full of shit then the people he talks to let on. Because they are better liars and better people...

 

[Random berk]

I think the closest I ever get to lying is if I'm embellishing a story that I tell in the pub, or if I say something like 'yeah, yeah, I'll do that in a moment' to get someone off my back and then leave the task in questin for several hours. For the most part I'd say I'm a very honest person, and would never mislead anyone on something more important than the aforementioned issues.

 

[Semitendon]

(Sigh)

My personal rule: Only lie when it's necessary to protect someone from undeserved harm.

Obviously, since it's my rule, and word "harm" can refer to a lot of different things, there is quite a bit of variability in what I consider to be an acceptable lie.

But I would estimate that 99% of the time I tell the truth, very few situations come into play where my rule has to be used.

Here's the thing, lying is largely used for three purposes:

1. Manipulative: To make other people feel good,ellicit a desired response from an individual i.e. pity, sympathy,anger, ect.

The problem with 1.: This kind of lie works well in the begining, however, this kind of lie is also frequently used on people that you have close contact with, and will have future contact with. It's also the second easiest lie to detect. It is inevitable that your lying will be discovered, at which point ( even if you are never confronted about it) people will cease to trust you, like you, or take you seriously. I know several people who constantly lie in this manner. For example, I know one person who does this in an attempt to further his career. What he doesn't know is that people are always laughing at him behind his back, and his reputation has extended into other departments and even other related companies. With the exception of people new to him, and extraordinarily stupid people, he is a walking punchline, in his case, he will likely never get ahead in his career.

2. Defensive: A lie employed exclusively to get yourself or someone else out of trouble.

The problem with 2.:This lie can be applied to my rule above, so obviously I think it has a potential justification. Unfortunately, most people use this lie far to frequently to get any benefit from it. This lie should only be used in the most extreme cases, where the truth will ultimately cause extensive and unwarranted damage. Classic example: A man steals bread from a store to feed his starving family because he has no legal means of aquiring food. If asked if he stole the bread, the man is justified in lying, because if he tells the truth he will go to jail or at the very least the bread will be confiscated and his family will still starve. Most people fail to use this lie effectively by using it as a "get out of jail free card" for literally anything that they do wrong.

3. Ego: A lie employed to boost your own public standing, or designed to boost your own self esteem.

The problem with 3.: This lie is closely tied, and often used in conjunction with lie type 1. As such, it is the easiest to detect. This particular lie has been used in plays, movies, and television shows to demonstrate stupidity in a character or teach a moral lesson. It has no justifiable value, and often creates loathing torwards the person who employes it. Politicians, buisness men, and other "respectable" positions often attempt to employ this lie successfully. The popularity of this lie is largely due to it's risk/reward status. If you manage to use it successfully, it can have huge benefits, fail and you will likely lose everything. Only the most proficient liars have been able to use this lie, and most of them are so good at lying that even if they are caught, they simply employ a new lie type 3. to recover from the loss.

Here's a pro-tip: Lie types 1 and 3 can be accomplshed almost as easily with the truth. The truth has very little risk/reward status, and people typically respect and remember when you tell the truth about things related to lies type 1 and 3. Which means that as you progress through life, you build a reputation, and people will begin to come to you because they know they can trust you. You can build lasting friendships and often reap rewards because of it. Think about the person you trust the most. . . Why do you trust them? I guarantee it is because if you have seen them lie, it was only to use a varation of my rule, and also because you have never seen them employ lie types 1 and 3.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

So what are your thoughts when it comes to lying? To be honest sometimes I impress myself with the stuff I come up with when i'm on a roll and the bullshit is flowing.

Honestly, it's very hard to get reliable feedback on how much of your bullshit people are actually swallowing. Many people I know will just let it slide, because calling someone out on their bullshit all the time makes things tense and awkward.

There's a guy like you in our group of friends, and he's become a running joke without him even realising. He thinks he's very clever, but as soon as he leaves the room we have fun Googling the things he says and deconstructing his lies.

 

[StBishop]

Do you think it's bad?

I realized something recently, I lie. A lot. I lie about anything and everything if it will result in something good happening to me. From tiny inconsequential lies to huge over arcing lies that would blow up in my face if the person found out.

I'll lie without even planning too, I can be having a conversation and if I see an opening to bullshit someone and have something good come my way the lies just kinda flow out of me. Now I know lying is supposed to be bad and you're 'supposed' to feel bad for it. I used to think that, or at least I think I did. Maybe i'm just a self serving asshole but if that's what I am it's all good because you gotta look out for number one!

So what are your thoughts when it comes to lying? To be honest sometimes I impress myself with the stuff I come up with when i'm on a roll and the bullshit is flowing.

Without being a massive douche, you're probably a child. Either that or you may have a real problem.

Lying is inherently bad. Dishonesty (which is things like omission of important features or misleading someone without lying) is bad.

I really hope you get caught out on some huge lie(s) and learn your lesson, fear may be the only thing to stop you lying, even if it doesn't make you an honest person, at least you'll act like one.

Only time I lie is to people I don't know about things which don't matter, eg. "Where are you going?" I'll just simplify and say "Work/Uni/Home" if it's some convoluted answer and I don't feel like explaining to some person on the bus.

 

[barbzilla]

Do you think it's bad?

I realized something recently, I lie. A lot. I lie about anything and everything if it will result in something good happening to me. From tiny inconsequential lies to huge over arcing lies that would blow up in my face if the person found out.

I'll lie without even planning too, I can be having a conversation and if I see an opening to bullshit someone and have something good come my way the lies just kinda flow out of me. Now I know lying is supposed to be bad and you're 'supposed' to feel bad for it. I used to think that, or at least I think I did. Maybe i'm just a self serving asshole but if that's what I am it's all good because you gotta look out for number one!

So what are your thoughts when it comes to lying? To be honest sometimes I impress myself with the stuff I come up with when i'm on a roll and the bullshit is flowing.

Careful with that. That is exactly how I started out lying. I eventually got so good at lying that I would create memories about the event in my head (I'm guessing from repeated telling of the lie my imagination would kick in to create the event in my head). It got so bad after a while I couldn't remember what was true and what was a lie, it became very confusing for me. Eventually I had to quit. I still tell lies, but only for entertainment or work purposes now.