Make your job title sound more epic than it is

[PFCboom]

This past month, I started working at a company that, in short, cuts and forms metal to be used by other companies. Pieces of lawnmowers, art class stool tops, brackets, rails, things that are difficult to describe, all made by us. I, as an operator of the various presses, am thoroughly aware that it's seriously uninteresting, even boring at times.
But then I started to think about what I really do, forcing these absurdly strong, potentially painful pieces of metal into all different shapes. Then, from this realization, I started to think about what I truly am.

I am the Steelshaper.

And just like that, my job is awesome. What's your job? More importantly, how epic can you make it sound?

 

[Queen Michael]

I'm a proofreader. No change is needed. It doesn't get more epic than that.

 

[Jolly Co-operator]

I do some freelance work for the IT department of a local school district whenever I have the time. I am "The Tech Mercenary"

 

[TechNoFear]

Currently my title is SME (Subject Matter Expert).

Makes me sound like I should be on a quiz show...

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I am an Audio Engineer and I normally work in the dark and talk quietly to myself as to not be heard.

Therefore, I am, the Sound Goblin.

Totally thanking TheFunSlinger for giving that title.

 

[Julius Terrell]

Well I clean up behind people. The kind of job nobody gives a shit about. I guess that makes me a sanitation expert. Right?

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I'm not unemployed, I'm struggling against the capitalist system!

 

[username sucks]

I am...

The Seeker. He who searches to the ends of the Earth to find but one thing: A job!

 

[Chairman Miaow]

I am the OVERSEER. (Store Supervisor) If you think about it. Super-Visor does literally mean Overseer, it just doesn't sound as epic.

 

[Zontar]

Slaughterer of the Beast (turkey handler in the slaughter section). Though to be honest the job ended Friday and so I'm out of work until mid December, since it's only when I'm not in session that I do it.

 

[Danny Dowling]

I'm a GB Olympic Taekwondo Athlete.

 

[bliebblob]

Biology student, ummmmm... Biomancer acolyte?

 

[Pink Gregory]

You add one letter.

It becomes Gardeneer.

Sounds like I hoe things with a jetpack.

 

[Zaeseled]

By degree I'm a wood artisan (carpenter), but by actual job my title would be Harbourmaster.

 

[Blacklight28]

I used to be a Pizzamancer, but now I am a simple mercenary on the prowl for purpose.

 

[BanicRhys]

I usually tell people I'm the "merchandise logistics manager for the department store division of Woolworths ltd."

I stack fucking shelves at a supermarket.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Currently working as a research intern implementing a few pattern matching algorithms. In other words, I'm creating the next Google.

That's only for the summer though, after which I will go back to being a Computer Science student. In other words, I will be creating the next Google.

 

[Malty Milk Whistle]

By day I am boring junior administrative assistant to the County Council, but by night I am....The Office *****.

 

[Quazimofo]

Well, I'm about to start my freshman year of college without any specific degree in mind. I expect to be partaking in knowledge many might consider esoteric and even more might consider useless in day-to-day living, as well as asking quite a few questions.

Based on my, admittedly limited, knowledge of DC Comics, that's enough to earn me the title of The Riddler

 

[pearcinator]

The Instructor of Youth.

I am a Primary School Teacher