Make Your Own God

[James Cassidy]

Say, you don't have any pets, do you?

Pets?

If you want me to have a pet that will cost you $10,000.

 

[James Cassidy]

I was just going to eat them.

Hey, I am an Anti-hero. Have to make money some how.

Can't be bothersome in business ethics. If you want my services you are going to have to pay for them.

*dons a Deadpool type mask and swings away on a rope imitation spider-man*

 

[James Cassidy]

Yeah, but I don't need your services.
I'm a god.

I have ultimate power.
Remember?

Then there would no problems in paying me $10,00 dollars then? Will that be cash or....cash?

 

[Soulgaunt]

Why would I bother with that?

I'm already here.

Are there any benefits to joining the Church of Max?

As a matter of fact, there are!

Allow me to list a few off the top of my head:

-I won't kill you or your family when I decide to take over the galaxy.
-If anyone harms you, I will personally strike them down (with SuperAIDS. They die in a matter of hours, but the pain is akin to having your genitals set alight with hellfire.)
-Free cookies every Saturday.
-Free kittens every Friday (Ula is in charge of kittens. She is the Minister of Kittenly Duties.)
-You may not have to suffer the Nothingness After Death. It depends entirely upon how much favor you have curried with me.

However, there are some restrictions:

-Must be Chaotic.
-Must lean more towards Evil than Good.
-Must not commit any Sins (as dictated by MaxTheReaper.)
-Must obey all commands from MaxTheReaper.

The Sins are as follows:

-Rape.
-Being bothersome to me.


And that's it for now.
More when I have had time to talk to my second in command, a bottle of vodka.

Hmmm, does killing/harvesting innocent people put me in the neutral or evil zones?
Also, greatest second in command, EVER!

 

[timmytom1]

The God of Gaming. May he bless your thumgs as we make the sign of the W, the S, the A and the D; the Up, the Down, the Left and the Right.

I see it as a Hindu(?) type religion with one God in charge and others for specific Genres.

I repel your god with my heathen AZERTY-keyboard!

You're weird...

Not me, just my keyboard [http://www.keytronic.com/home/products/specs/63471-1_FR.gif](WASD-controls are nearly impossibly on these) or perhaps yours is the weird one for not having ZQSD to control your characters.

I still have the directional buttons, yes. But you don't have access to many other buttons from that one. Really annoying if you can't configure your controls.

I've changed my mind, purely because of the sad face near your P.

You wouldn`t happen to be french now would you?

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

The God of Gaming. May he bless your thumgs as we make the sign of the W, the S, the A and the D; the Up, the Down, the Left and the Right.

I see it as a Hindu(?) type religion with one God in charge and others for specific Genres.

I repel your god with my heathen AZERTY-keyboard!

You're weird...

Not me, just my keyboard [http://www.keytronic.com/home/products/specs/63471-1_FR.gif](WASD-controls are nearly impossibly on these) or perhaps yours is the weird one for not having ZQSD to control your characters.

I still have the directional buttons, yes. But you don't have access to many other buttons from that one. Really annoying if you can't configure your controls.

I've changed my mind, purely because of the sad face near your P.

You wouldn`t happen to be french now would you?

Umm. No.

 

[timmytom1]

The God of Gaming. May he bless your thumgs as we make the sign of the W, the S, the A and the D; the Up, the Down, the Left and the Right.

I see it as a Hindu(?) type religion with one God in charge and others for specific Genres.

I repel your god with my heathen AZERTY-keyboard!

You're weird...

Not me, just my keyboard [http://www.keytronic.com/home/products/specs/63471-1_FR.gif](WASD-controls are nearly impossibly on these) or perhaps yours is the weird one for not having ZQSD to control your characters.

I still have the directional buttons, yes. But you don't have access to many other buttons from that one. Really annoying if you can't configure your controls.

I've changed my mind, purely because of the sad face near your P.

You wouldn`t happen to be french now would you?

Umm. No.

Hummmm then from the continent? because AZERTY is the standard setup on french keyboards (have no idea how the yanks have it)

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

The God of Gaming. May he bless your thumgs as we make the sign of the W, the S, the A and the D; the Up, the Down, the Left and the Right.

I see it as a Hindu(?) type religion with one God in charge and others for specific Genres.

I repel your god with my heathen AZERTY-keyboard!

You're weird...

Not me, just my keyboard [http://www.keytronic.com/home/products/specs/63471-1_FR.gif](WASD-controls are nearly impossibly on these) or perhaps yours is the weird one for not having ZQSD to control your characters.

I still have the directional buttons, yes. But you don't have access to many other buttons from that one. Really annoying if you can't configure your controls.

I've changed my mind, purely because of the sad face near your P.

You wouldn`t happen to be french now would you?

Umm. No.

Hummmm then from the continent? because AZERTY is the standard setup on french keyboards (have no idea how the yanks have it)

I have a QWERTY, I'm a Brit. I know in Germany they have QWERTZ, the Y and Z are changed. It's weird.

 

[James Cassidy]

I think it'll be nothing.
And nothing.

Oh, and lung cancer.
Awh, hell. Lung cancer for the whole family!
Enjoy!

Well if you want me to die, that will cost you $50,000. For my whole family that will cost $1,000,000.

*smiles and punches you in the face again. Sticks out my tongue*

What? You said I had to be evil....what is more evil than extortion? I am following your commandments after all.

Man, I love this healing factor they gave me.

 

[SideburnsPuppy]

I name my god Asshole, and he is the god of making girls not like me.

Are you sure thats not just... you know, you?

I kid, I kid.

You think I wasn't? For the record, I do have a girlfriend. And for the love of Asshole, don't ask if she's imaginary, because I am not comfortable with the answer to that question.

 

[Aunel]

god of awesome
he is awesome

 

[James Cassidy]

You have to be evil before you join.
Not after.

Furthermore, you're missing the fact that one of the two Sins is "do not be bothersome to me."

You are bothersome.

For your information, I am not evil. I am an anti-hero...not good, but not evil either.

Like I said, religion is a busniess....can;t pay then I can't pray. That's okay, I'll steal the poor box.

If I am bothersome....I'll stop bothering you for $5,000...special deal this weak.

 

[xxnightlawxx]

Why would I bother with that?

I'm already here.

Good post as usual Max.

 

[Ripshot]

this is my god

he does all, knows all, sees all

 

[Xvito]

My god is the great Salmon (with a capital letter, if God gets one; Salmon gets one)... I pray to Him (He is a male) every day.

He rides upon the back of a trillion of differently colored smaller salmons (without the capital S).

He rules over the Universe with His salmony-power.

He believes in you even if you don't believe in Him... Actually, that was a lie, He doesn't care about you... He's almighty you idiot. If you go against Him, He will use His salmony-power to give you eternal pain.

He didn't, however, crea-

Um... I mean, He created this wonderful Universe with the snap of His... Fins... Yeah.

 

[soaringbiscuit]

You have to be evil before you join.
Not after.

Furthermore, you're missing the fact that one of the two Sins is "do not be bothersome to me."

You are bothersome.

For your information, I am not evil. I am an anti-hero...not good, but not evil either.

Like I said, religion is a busniess....can;t pay then I can't pray. That's okay, I'll steal the poor box.

If I am bothersome....I'll stop bothering you for $5,000...special deal this weak.

You seem to be under the impression that I care how many followers I have.
I don't.

It's part of what makes me cool.

Why would I bother with that?

I'm already here.

Good post as usual Max.

Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without people to feed my ego.
I honestly hope I never find out.

Hooray me!

Without people to feed you're ego, you'd be one of those minor[/i *gasp* Greek Gods that no one cares about. Like Janus, the God of doorhinges. Someone must have been really drunk when they named January after him.

 

[PoweD]

I see it as a Hindu(?) type religion with one God in charge and others for specific Genres.

Nice idea,i would worship the stealth god

 

[Yokai]

The God of Awesome.
He is known by no other name, for he is nothing more than the physical embodiment of ownage. A god that makes Kratos and the Emperor of Mankind quake in their boots, for his power is unrivaled. A god who smites his enemies with the sanctified power of planet-sized death rays. A god from whose aura rose Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee. All hail. I worship him.

 

[Omikron009]

Atheismo, the mighty god of non believers. Tremble as he uses his magic powers to influence society, while hiding in his invisible fortress in the clouds. ALL HAIL ATHEISMO!

 

[soaringbiscuit]

Without people to feed you're ego, you'd be one of those minor[/i *gasp* Greek Gods that no one cares about. Like Janus, the God of doorhinges. Someone must have been really drunk when they named January after him.

But...
I'm American.
Not Greek.

(not that American specifies anything other than being born in America.)

Oh. Well, to me, being American means loving God, Guns, and Guts, and Pork Rinds. That's why I'm not American, I'm Jewish.

Interestingly enough, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_pie clearly states that Apple Pie was not created in America.