Make Your Own God

[lack of self CTRL]

Raptor Jesus, how else can you explain 4chan! it defies all logic and has been proved a mathematical impossibility!

Also, Izzard on religion ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiCTI8Y9X28

 

[Lord Beautiful]

My nickname among my friends, oddly enough, was "God," so I think I'll refer all of my prayers and worship to myself.

 

[Pimppeter2]

This sounds like a great Iphone app

 

[Zorg Machine]

all hail Lord Vurn, he who resides in all creatures except humans,fish and raped octopuses. Lord Vurn is not a forgiving god for if you forget to do the five-hour chant each day and do not greet everyone with the phrase I am rrroting through your garbage then you shall be cast off into hell where you will constantly be kicked in the balls (you will grow balls if you are a woman since it would be a bit gross to have you give birth over and over) if you do follow the commandments you shall be driven of to a wonderland of cake where pie is banned and you can hae anything you want and where future video games about interstellar bum pirates are available halo 3 is better though). and now you might ask how do disasters occur, and that is because the only people who make it to paradise are mostly (roughly 90%) evil to the core and revel in casing earthquakes and such. The last question is of course: what does Lord Vrun actually do? the answer is, most of the time he sits on a private island in paradise drinking beer and popping acid.

note: if you haven't done the chants yet you are going to hell (if that was not obvious)

 

[soaringbiscuit]

Why would I bother with that?

I'm already here.

I so fucking saw that coming.

Don't need to make one, already got one.

Congratulations!
You have successfully demonstrated the capacity for basic learning and knowledge retention!

Is...is it me?

That's right! Teach him a lesson, the conning devil! Or...yeah. That makes perfect sense.

Oh, I will.
A few million years in The Misery Chamber should fix his ass.
PS: Why do you soar? Your kind is for eating!

Why do I soar? Well, it's a funny story. I was in the lunch room one day, and we were having a food fight, and I threw a biscuit. The biscuit had a perfect, seemingly slow-motion arc in the air, and all eyes were on it as it landed on the head of my principal. It was the most epic thing you've never seen.

 

[Yossarian90]

But we already have Stockholm and his prodigal son Vault Dude
One is unkillable unreachable and all knowing
The other is a crazy son of a ***** who picks up as much shit as possible and only speaks in text

 

[ninjapuma42]

your mum



sorry i had to say that any way stacko temder the god of stake tenderizers, pumas, and pure awsomeness wich is a gas

 

[The Shade]

I consider the Flying Spaghetti Monster to be the only deity I need.

I've also expanded his portfolio in include, "God of the toilet not clogging when you're at a friend's house." That's a very important duty.

 

[Lenny Magic]

The great and powerful god of irritating and unexplainable buzz which effects my guitar amp, slowly with time he grows more powerful until he give me a minor electric sting.

"DO NOT TOUCH THAT !" he roars mightily through my headphones "or you shall taste my wrath of 0.3 volts"

Fear of he is the only thing that prevents from progression in my study of the guitar.

 

[Vitamin T]

Dice for the Dice God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh mighty dice god, hear mt prayer. Let me roll a six with which to smite my enemies, so that my lasgun may kill the pathectic space marine before me. Amen

I'm with you man. All hail the almighty power of the Dice God, the true form of Chaos. Uncaring, Fickle, the best friend and worst nightmare of gamers who use dice everywhere.

He cares not for your prayers, nor for your wants and needs.
He cares not for your lamentations of "bad fortune" or your celebrations of "awesome luck".
He cares not if you win or lose, live or die.

All he cares for is his own whim. He may choose to smile upon you and bless your dice but he may also decide to curse you to a painful and utterly crushing defeat at the hands of your enemies. In the end all lies in his hands. He is the most powerful force in the universe.


However I would like to just say this; Space Marines are cool and why would they be fighting Imperial Guard anyway? Unless of course you refer to the Traitor Marines, those who would devote themselves to mere facets of the almighty power of the Dice God in order to gain favour and yet still rise and fall based on his whim.

 

[EMFCRACKSHOT]

I'm with you man. All hail the almighty power of the Dice God, the true form of Chaos. Uncaring, Fickle, the best friend and worst nightmare of gamers who use dice everywhere.

He cares not for your prayers, nor for your wants and needs.
He cares not for your lamentations of "bad fortune" or your celebrations of "awesome luck".
He cares not if you win or lose, live or die.

All he cares for is his own whim. He may choose to smile upon you and bless your dice but he may also decide to curse you to a painful and utterly crushing defeat at the hands of your enemies. In the end all lies in his hands. He is the most powerful force in the universe.


However I would like to just say this; Space Marines are cool and why would they be fighting Imperial Guard anyway? Unless of course you refer to the Traitor Marines, those who would devote themselves to mere facets of the almighty power of the Dice God in order to gain favour and yet still rise and fall based on his whim.

Its called trator guard, boy.
The Dice God requires sacrifice!!!!!!!!! We must give it the blood of 3000 midgets

 

[Vitamin T]

I'm with you man. All hail the almighty power of the Dice God, the true form of Chaos. Uncaring, Fickle, the best friend and worst nightmare of gamers who use dice everywhere.

He cares not for your prayers, nor for your wants and needs.
He cares not for your lamentations of "bad fortune" or your celebrations of "awesome luck".
He cares not if you win or lose, live or die.

All he cares for is his own whim. He may choose to smile upon you and bless your dice but he may also decide to curse you to a painful and utterly crushing defeat at the hands of your enemies. In the end all lies in his hands. He is the most powerful force in the universe.


However I would like to just say this; Space Marines are cool and why would they be fighting Imperial Guard anyway? Unless of course you refer to the Traitor Marines, those who would devote themselves to mere facets of the almighty power of the Dice God in order to gain favour and yet still rise and fall based on his whim.

Its called trator guard, boy.
The Dice God requires sacrifice!!!!!!!!! We must give it the blood of 3000 midgets

Well shut my mouth then. I just learned something new. Several somethings to be honest.

And the blood of 3000 midgets you say? Where are we going to get that much blood? I don't think that's something you can just go down to the supermarket and pick up. Is there a God we can pray to to get some? Haemo-Phil?...God of Midget Blood?...and Juggling?.

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

Ahh a God Thread. I have but one thing to say.

Spoiler

http://media.photobucket.com/image/evolution%20where%20is%20your%20god%20now/Dav24034/evolution.jpg?o=1

PS: My God of Choice is No God