Hated Avatar. I rooted for the genocidal army guys the entire time. I'm not a jaded war veteran with a sever case of xenophobia, its just that the movie was so un-subtle with their metaphores, symbols, and other ultra liberal bull-shit messages. Hell, I'm left-leaning as hell, but they made the protagonists so anvillicious with 'unobtainium' and the general hypocrisy of the movie (Proud warrior-race with a 'might-makes-right' mentality are somehow more righteous than the other 'might-makes-right' proud warrior-race because the other one is foreign and is interested in obtaining resources instead of killing for honor and corny "cycle of life" bullshit).
Hated 300 too. Yeah, I know: "Dude, it's like, a movie where, like, these guys kill and grope other men in slo-mo. Some movies weren't meant to be thoughtful or intelligent. I like stupid movies 'cause they're stupid, which is totally cool." (It's very hard for me not to end that sentence with "...because I'm a moron with low standards who doesn't think that movies should be held to standards where they can be both kick-ass and reasonably intelligent; stop making me think, it hurts my tiny brain, brah".
I know a bit of Hellenistic history - yes, there was a battle of Thermopylae that was pretty awesome and with an astonishing kill:death ratio on the Spartan side. I just wish that Frank WHORESWHORESWHORES Miller could have at least shown some slight understanding of the people fighting. I know, it's not meant to be historic, but come the FUCK on, the Spartans LITERALLY did not have a word for 'Freedom' in their language. They were the Nazis of the ancient Greece: everyone in their society was literally bred to serve the state as certified killing machine (even the women were trained in combat). Seriously - their entire lives, from the time each child graduated from their brutal war-academy to the time they died at age 65 (which was ancient in those days, especially considering that most spartan men died in wars, which was seen as the highest honor) they were demanded to kill, maim, and enslave pretty much everyone else they considered weaker than them (to them: everybody).
So yeah - having them as the scantily-clad white protagonists that seemed to shit concentrated units of freedom with every step while fighting the barbaric and hedonistic Persians and their cross dressing man-queen Xerxes is sort of like having a film about WWII where the brave, courageous, and democratic Germans and their sorta-staunch allies: the communist, cowardly, inbred, and genetically-deformed English forces (that eventually betray them later in the movie to the Mexi-king of lower-South America), are protecting their Jewish and gypsy citizens from marauding space-Russians with their trained bears and robot cowboys from the US who are armed with handguns that fire vaginas with teeth.
Yeah, it sounds awesome, but I bet a lot of you would be a little put-off about the liberties taken.
It made me cringe. I can handle dumb, but I hated this movie because it was not only dumb but became popular, and there now are so many dumbasses that seem to think that the actual battle of thermopylae went at least something like it.
It's like how I bet every single one you get that urge to facepalm every time you see something about a creationist museum: with the men riding dinosaurs and everything. It's not just inaccurate: it's so fundamentally incorrect to a level that shrivels brains.
Also: Forrest Gump. It was good, just not as meaningful, deep, and great that everyone else seems to think.
/rant, I had a lot of hate to vent.
