Making Homophobia work for you!

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happyninja42

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May 13, 2010
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So I was remembering something I did a long time ago, that always amuses me, and thought I would share it to see if anyone had a similar experience.

So in my late teens and early 20's, I was fond of doing minor social experiments with the people I interacted with. I was also a regular cigarette and pot smoker at the time. This fact is relevant I promise.


So for those of you who might not know, when you smoke pot, either via a joint, or a pipe, it's common for the embers to die out, requiring you to relight them. I'm going to assume my pot smoking social groups are pretty typical in their behaviour. Commonly, when you smoke, the people will sit in a circle, or vaguely circle-ish form, and pass the pot around. If the type of pot is prone to go out, it's common to pass a lighter around with it. However it's also common, especially as you get higher and higher, to forget that the lighter isn't yours, and just unconciously tuck it away in your pocket as you pass the pot to the next person. Which leads to a frequent outcry of "who's got my lighter?" followed by a round of pocket patting as we all try to figure out which one of us pocketed it.

This was so common that I decided to test something out. So, I bought the brightest, loudest hot pink lighter I could find at the gas station. The result was quite amusing.

Not all, but many of the guys I would smoke with, I won't call them friends, because many of them were simply pot smoking associates, would get up from the couch, and walk across the room to hand me back my "faggety/queer lighter". This is of some note, as when you are high, you don't want to get up much if you can avoid it. They would frequently make some snide comment about my lighter, and want it away from them as quickly as possible. I would smirk, because the end result was that I always had my lighter while the rest of them would be stuck patting their pockets.

So yeah, make fun of me for my faggety lighter pal, I know where mine is at all times, unlike you.

Hah!

Oh, and not that it matters, but I figure I'll mention it for clarification/full disclosure/whatever. I'm a straight male, but I've frequently had gay friends, and even hung out with them at gay bars. This wasn't done to mock homosexuals in any way, and was simply a form of litmus test of those I associated with, on their comfort levels with things that are socially considered "gay".


So anyone had something amusing/advantageous like this? Where they used someone's prejudices against them to your benefit/amusement?
 

Rosiv

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Oct 17, 2012
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I am not a very social/popular person, so that makes people not want to associate with me, which is nice for i get to have my space.
 

Zhukov

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Dec 29, 2009
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On several occasions I've had rather unfriendly young fellows come up to me and say something along the lines of, "Were you looking at/talking to my girlfriend just now?"

My response was to stand up, put on my biggest smile and reply, "Wasn't her I was looking at big boy."

Worked like a dream. They fucked off right quick. Except for the one drunken runt who promptly lost his shit and tried to hit me.
 

maffgibson

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Sep 10, 2013
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As a straight male, using others' homophobia against them can be quite useful. For example, while I was at a club me and this guy (backed up by a load of his mates) bumped into each other (basically both of our faults), and we both spilled our pints. For his part, he squares up to me and says something to the effect of "You &*%$ing spilled my pint!". To which I replied in a seductive voice "I'm so sorry! Can I buy you another one?"

His face fell, and he just sort of backed away. Incident averted.

Likewise, if guys are bothering female friends of mine in clubs when we are trying to dance (we are talking unrequited grinding and refusing to leave after being asked), rather than physically confronting them, I switch places with my friend and start shaking my ass in their direction. Gets rid of them a treat.
 

happyninja42

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Spot1990 said:
Where are you from? That's some next level homophobia right there ha. Are they afraid a pink lighter will suddenly turn that joint into a rock hard erection and they'll realise that they love that even more?
I live in Alabama. And yes, among that group of guys, there was an almost pathological aversion to pink. It's partly why I did the experiment because they were so odd about it.

Zhukov said:
On several occasions I've had rather unfriendly young fellows come up to me and say something along the lines of, "Were you looking at/talking to my girlfriend just now?"

My response was to stand up, put on my biggest smile and reply, "Wasn't her I was looking at big boy."

Worked like a dream. They fucked off right quick. Except for the one drunken runt who promptly lost his shit and tried to hit me.
Hah, nice. xD Yeah there is always that risk of hitting the Rage Button on the person.

maffgibson said:
As a straight male, using others' homophobia against them can be quite useful. For example, while I was at a club me and this guy (backed up by a load of his mates) bumped into each other (basically both of our faults), and we both spilled our pints. For his part, he squares up to me and says something to the effect of "You &*%$ing spilled my pint!". To which I replied in a seductive voice "I'm so sorry! Can I buy you another one?"

His face fell, and he just sort of backed away. Incident averted.

Likewise, if guys are bothering female friends of mine in clubs when we are trying to dance (we are talking unrequited grinding and refusing to leave after being asked), rather than physically confronting them, I switch places with my friend and start shaking my ass in their direction. Gets rid of them a treat.
Hehe, yeah, I can almost see their face twisting in horror and mentally screaming like Monty Python "RUN AWAY! RUN AAAAWAAAY!"


These did remind me of another thing from those days. I was tall and slim, and had long hair, so there were a cluster of guys back then who would pick on me and call me gay/******, because, well I don't really know why, I think they maybe pulled my name out of a hat to bully. Anyway, they liked to call me a pussy now and then, which I always replied back with "Yep! You are what you eat pal!" This would always shut them up and make them tilt their head, not sure how to respond. xD
 

Aesir23

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Jul 2, 2009
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Oh man, you guys are absolutely wonderful. I always love stories of things like this.

I don't really have any stories of my own but apparently my sister would often be called a homophobic slur for walking with her lesbian friend. She was taking a psychology course in high school at the time so I guess she would often just reply back with the notion that homophobic people often had homosexual tendencies that they were trying to cover up. It usually shut them right up.
 

maffgibson

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Sep 10, 2013
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Happyninja42 said:
maffgibson said:
As a straight male, using others' homophobia against them can be quite useful. For example, while I was at a club me and this guy (backed up by a load of his mates) bumped into each other (basically both of our faults), and we both spilled our pints. For his part, he squares up to me and says something to the effect of "You &*%$ing spilled my pint!". To which I replied in a seductive voice "I'm so sorry! Can I buy you another one?"

His face fell, and he just sort of backed away. Incident averted.

Likewise, if guys are bothering female friends of mine in clubs when we are trying to dance (we are talking unrequited grinding and refusing to leave after being asked), rather than physically confronting them, I switch places with my friend and start shaking my ass in their direction. Gets rid of them a treat.
Hehe, yeah, I can almost see their face twisting in horror and mentally screaming like Monty Python "RUN AWAY! RUN AAAAWAAAY!"


These did remind me of another thing from those days. I was tall and slim, and had long hair, so there were a cluster of guys back then who would pick on me and call me gay/******, because, well I don't really know why, I think they maybe pulled my name out of a hat to bully. Anyway, they liked to call me a pussy now and then, which I always replied back with "Yep! You are what you eat pal!" This would always shut them up and make them tilt their head, not sure how to respond. xD
Haha, nice work! I guess it is just a great way to deal with people who are being assholes: generally, they can only win if they can get you to play their game by their rules. Once you flip the board, they tend to be too confused about what to do next to do anything other than try to un-drop their jaws, and what's more you win without actually doing anything harmful (to anything other than, possibly, their delicate sense of propriety). Your pink lighter is a pretty good example of how even pretty simple stuff can make some people hit that point of "does not compute".
 

happyninja42

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maffgibson said:
snip

Haha, nice work! I guess it is just a great way to deal with people who are being assholes: generally, they can only win if they can get you to play their game by their rules. Once you flip the board, they tend to be too confused about what to do next to do anything other than try to un-drop their jaws, and what's more you win without actually doing anything harmful (to anything other than, possibly, their delicate sense of propriety). Your pink lighter is a pretty good example of how even pretty simple stuff can make some people hit that point of "does not compute".
Yeah, which always puzzled me quite honestly. It's similar to the "if you have an earring in your *pick an ear*, you're gay" thing. Now given that I've heard some of the subtle things people with alternate lifestyles would do to indicate their nature in public, I could kind of see this one being true? That at some point, it was used as a subtle hint, sort of like how red lipstick was used to indicate you were a prostitute. (At least I've heard that once or twice, that the origins of bright red lipstick for women was an indicator to passersby that they were prostitutes, to try and keep it on the down low).

The funny thing to me was in the situations when someone would confront me about this, they wouldn't actually believe me. They were certain that because I had an earring in my left ear, and only my left ear, I was gay. Nevermind that I tried to pierce my right ear, but it was prone to infections and irritation, so I gave up on it. NOPE! I'm a homo apparently! Very baffling.

Though I remember one time being at work, on break, and a guy made a droll remark that I was gay, to which the girl I was sitting next to, and was having a sexual relationship with, laughed out loud, and long, in a very mocking way, then turned to me and said "He thinks you're gay. Teehee!" To which the guy shut up, given the apparent implication from her. xD

Anyway, sort of rambling now, yeah, homophobia is weird and stupd, but sometimes funny in how it's expressed.
 

sageoftruth

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Jan 29, 2010
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I knew someone who had a way of making homophobia work for him as well, or if not homophobia, then gay stereotypes at least. He was from Liberia and his middle eastern appearance got him stopped, checked, and often interrogated every time he went to the airport. Eventually, he came up with the idea of wearing the brightest, pinkest choices of attire he could come up with while going to the airport.
He'd pass the guards, who would go, "Heh! Nice clothes." He'd respond, "I knooow! I got them at Filenes. Aren't they fabulous?" No guards made any attempt to stop him.